To ban mobiles around my baby

[Fridakahlofan]

Yesterday I asked my husband to watch our 4 month old for an hour and came in to find her mesmerised watching a youtube video of some fish he had propped in front of her. I felt annoyed - like she had been tainted but agree it totally shut her up and gave him some peace.

I'm no angel and use my phone around her occasionally but I am wondering if I should change my ways.

Does anyone out there manage to have a mobile phone they barely use? Tips please! and how can I convince my husband to cut down usage too.

Babies need you to hold them, talk to them, sing to them.

Of course. Not ALL the time, though.

I would not be impressed to come home to that and I'm pretty lax tbh.

I think you are being very sensible actually!
Babies need human interaction not screen time..heaven knows they will never be away from it for the rest of their lives.
I work with children who arrive in school with few of the basic help self skills... can't dress themselves or eat with a knife and fork, yet can negotiate an ipad like a pro. They struggle to listen to a story because they have learned only to be entertained with visual stuff. It saddens me.
A wakeful, curious baby should be interacted with, shown the world by being part of it. Screens are not necessary at that age!

And FGS, at 4 months old, you actually do plonk babies somewhere. They can't sit up yet, FFS. It doesn't really matter whether it's in front of a window or in front of a TV or in front of a picture

You should certainly know this is not true.

Well if he only had her for an hour why did he need to shut her up and get peace?
Could be useful to go to the loo or answer the phone though.

No way at 4 months old. Nothing can compete with a flashing, moving screen for attention and usage just creeps up as it’s an easy way to keep baby quiet so then they come to expect it.
The amount of toddlers I see being pushed around in pushchairs clutching phones makes me really sad. When mine were little we would be chatting about the birds and what they could see. A phone doesn’t replace that in terms of language development. And shoving a screen in front of a tetchy child doesn’t teach them how to manage their emotions themselves. I wouldn’t allow any screen time at all for a baby and I limit it for my older children as well.
I’ve seen the effect of iPads and phones becoming more used working in early years settings and it really is shocking. Kids routinely have poor attention spans, poor emotional regulation, poor play skills, no grip in their hands because they are hardly playing with things like crayons and Lego in favour of swiping a screen. I honestly think in a generations time we will be seeing the full extent of the permanent damage these devices can cause.
You aren’t overreacting. It’s really not worth the long term effects for some peace and quiet.

Damn, this is a sane thread, and I wanted to post my picture of a baby Faraday cage

Give it another year and you’ll have Peppa Pig on 24/7 just so you can have a bath.

We have only recently (DD is 18 months old) let her watch the occasional thing on the iPad. Mainly the photo video compilations from the photo album - she loves pointing out everyone she knows.

We don’t have a TV either so she doesn’t watch anything day to day.

I’m inclined to agree with you, the world is interesting enough for a baby, no screens needed. I thInk that instant gratification from such a young age cannot be a good thing - nothing else provides such constant entertainment and therefore can’t match up to an app or YouTube videos.

I am so old that I thought this was about mobiles that you hang over a cot to entertain babies and I couldn't see the problem

Yanbu. Absolutely no need to stick a baby in front of a phone or a screen. I think that's a really weird thing to do. I don't think she's been tainted but I think it's sad that some people make so little effort to entertain small children.

I am so old that I thought this was about mobiles that you hang over a cot to entertain babies and I couldn't see the problem

Don't worry, I thought the same thing and I'm only 31 I was thinking that my ds loved his musical, wind up mobile!

Agree with OP. There's no need.

yanbu. Give it 20 years and there is going to be some awful results of the studies that come from screen interaction. I was very anal with mine and they didn't watch tv til they were two. They now can entertain themselves for ages whereas a lot of theor peers seem to struggle. And if your DH only had the baby for an hour he is a lazy arse.

I am one of those people who barely uses my phone.

I have it, so my mum can get hold of me. I don't have any apps on there and its a PAYG, so once the money is up its just a useful paperweight.

I would get rid of it completely but a lot of DS' friends parent use it to contact me as well.

Also I still think its important to stay upto date as much as possible with the latest technology, as while DS is still interested in lego more than IPads and computers that is going to change in the blink of an eye

Screens are shit and lazy parenting for babies.

I thought this was going to be a thread about people having to leave their mobiles in a box when they came in the door or something because of microwaves or some such

Babies in pushchairs with phones. Just no

Good lord - the judgy brigade is out in force on this thread!

I pop some YouTube nursery rhymes on for my 4 month old for 10 mins here and there. If I didn’t, her clothes wouldn’t get washed, the washing up wouldn’t get done, I wouldn’t be able to express etc etc etc.

We also play lots, read lots, sing, dance and go out everyday. It’s not ‘lazy parenting’ if you find something your child enjoys that happens to be on a screen and allows you a few precious minutes to get other things done during the day. We’re raising our daughter bilingual as well - the stories and rhymes on YouTube are brilliantly helpful for that.

I was raised in a house where the TV was on in the background all the time and my siblings and I all turned out to be intelligent, interesting, educated people who are avid readers with a variety of other hobbies that don’t involve screens. I think if you make it some great big taboo then kids are far more likely to have an unhealthy relationship with screen time as they get older.

All that said, I’m with my daughter all day and all night so her watching nursery rhymes is a very small part of what we do together. If my DH, who is only with her for a few hours each day, plonked her in front of the screen habitually during their time together just because it was easier than doing anything else with her then I’d be pissed off.

Screens are an essential parenting tool in this house. Yes, I am a lazy parent. But also a sane one.

I have a nearly 4 month old and don't use YouTube with her. She has a lifetime of screen usage ahead of her so I'm trying to hold off as long as I can.

My phone usage has dramatically reduced since I got my Apple Watch, all the notifications flash up on my watch (and are easily ignored) so I don't need to constantly check my phone and then fall down the rabbit hole of all the social media apps.

I have a mobile (just got it before I had DD who is two and a half months). Only OH and DM have the number, and it's only switched on during Saturday afternoons when I leave DS with DM to take DD to her swimming lesson. I appreciate they have practical uses, but I can't stand carrying one.

Quite fun for her. When I saw the thread title I was thinking she's probably a bit young to have a mobile - but she'll catch up soon enough!

Bit lazy. Think I'd only do it if absolutely desperate. Luckily no smartphones existed 18 years ago!

I think it’s lazy to stick a phone in front of a four month old to get stuff done. Nonsense.

We kept screens to a minimum until both dcs were 2 (bit harder with the youngest!)

Screens reduce concentration span so why would you?

Mine watch plenty now though.