To ban mobiles around my baby

[Fridakahlofan]

Yesterday I asked my husband to watch our 4 month old for an hour and came in to find her mesmerised watching a youtube video of some fish he had propped in front of her. I felt annoyed - like she had been tainted but agree it totally shut her up and gave him some peace.

I'm no angel and use my phone around her occasionally but I am wondering if I should change my ways.

Does anyone out there manage to have a mobile phone they barely use? Tips please! and how can I convince my husband to cut down usage too.

It’s just depressing that people thing it’s ok for babies to have phones. Bloody depressing.

5 and 8 year olds having their own play stations is a bit sad too

I find threads like these so funny.

Honestly, when your child is 9, 10 you will look back at your precious behaviour during the baby years and laugh at yourself.

I can remember behaving similarly when mine was small. I have relaxed soooooo much now she is older and know if i were ever to have another I would not be giving a toss about stuff like this.

It feels like something big and important right now but it really isn't a big deal. It is a screen.

Slightly missing the point. We're not talking about 9 or 10 year olds

Nope not missing the point.

I am saying that the OP will likely look back on this time WHEN her child is 9 or 10 and laugh at how much consideration she gave this.

If you use a screen to stop your child screaming hysterically how long before they work out that screaming hysterically = screen time whenever they want?

It isn't the screen they want, it's the soothing motion of the bouncing dots in that particular video, I actually find it quite calming myself. I would much rather have a calm and happy baby than have them screaming hysterically because they are too distressed and worked up by being sick, teething, tired, whatever for me to calm them down when I've already tried everything. Once they have watched for a few minutes they accept what I was trying to do to calm them down. It's amazing, especially when DC2 was a few weeks old and doing his witching hour where he wanted to cluster feed but got too worked up to do it, this calmed him down long enough to latch and then he would relax again.

As I said, DC1 isn't even bothered by screen time and never asks for it. We just put it on so we can sing the songs with him but he loses interest within 10-15 minutes max. I wouldn't give him a tablet or anything to play with.

Threejumpers I was trying to explain this too!

If they're autistic it is the dots and not the cuddling they want.

Huh, that's interesting. It hadn't occurred to me about the autism, even though I am and DH likely is.

OP I agree with you. Your baby is too young for screens

My eldest is 9 actually and I’m really happy that so far we have avoided screens. This isn’t PFB stuff. We simply don’t know enough about the effects on development

I disagree about the PFB side, my DS is almost 3 and still has limited screen time (up to an hour of TV per day, only after tea. Bit more relaxed on weekends eg he might have 20 mins before lunch too, but in the week it's an hour max). This would've annoyed me when he was 4 months. As others have said, fair enough in an emergency or no other choice, but when he only had to look after her for an hour?

I think there's evidence that small screens eg iPads and phones are worse than watching tv, makes sense as at least with TV it's a bit more social, my son will point things out to me as they happen. I've noticed on the odd occasion he's had a phone to distract him, his mood turns foul.

@StepAwayFromGoogle @ImpendingDisaster I'm
A primary teacher and I see 4 year olds trying to swipe books

Screens eg iPhone are intuitive and addictive
Babies can get to grips with them v quickly
I’d rather they learn something else instead

@avocadoincident - whaaat?! That's horrifying. But surely that's children who do nothing but sit in front of a screen all day? It doesn't sound like they've ever seen a book (you'd quickly learn you can't swipe it). I can't believe the same is true of children who have 30 minutes of YouTube Kids a day but spend the rest of their time doing other things? [Hurriedly removes You Tube Kids from phone]

@StepAwayFromGoogle I think it's less that they've never seen a book and more a firm habit they've formed

Well that's a relief. Thank you for replying.

I've got a strong interest in this area and have read much research on both sides of the argument.

For me the problem lies with contemporary production techniques that has increased zooms, pans, edits ...basically the screen is changing faster and more frequently. These rapidly changing images are not reflective of real life and overpays the child as they watch it and corrupts the reward system in the brain. A child's ability to pay attention to non screen activities can be compromised.
American Pediatrics advice is no screen time for under 2's as their brain development relies on direct interactions with care givers. Annoyingly many apps, programmes and videos are aimed at under 2's.

There have been such rapid changes to the media environment which have not been accompanied with similar growth in understanding the impact on a child's development.

Obviously this one off experience is not going to harm your baby but I certainly wouldn't be allowing it to repeated!

And don't even get me started on the tv being on a lot in the background of homes!

Another who wouldn't be very impressed with a parent who couldn't look after their baby for an hour without having to hypnotise them with a screen.
There should be no need whatsoever for a 4 month old to be staring at a screen.

I swipe when I read all the time. It’s called a kindle.