aibu to not wear a head scarf

[Itsmemotherfuckers]

I am going to brave the shave for Macmillan and im super excited!

I have had so many positive comments but somewhere I volunteer (non facing client role) has said that when I come in to volunteer I must wear a scarf! reasons are im going from a head full of hair to an extreme hair cut :/

I don't know If iabu or not by telling them actually stick it or its their premises and work so I should adhere to what they say.

I really enjoy volunteering there and I don't want to stop but I am also doing this to raise money, awareness and selfishly to make myself feel better by knowing im doing something.

what do you think?

Running a marathon is marathon is a normal thing to do to raise money. It’s a general thing

My friend with terminal cancer was asked by one person if she'd thought of what she'd like to do in her final months- with the classic suggestion, perhaps you could run a marathon?! Umm, apart from her inability to get off the bed, it was a winner!

I don't personally see head-shaving as 'mimicking' losing hair in a negative sense. I see it more like SGB as an act of solidarity which some people might appreciate. My dd wanted to do this for her family member with cancer, I know he doesn't find it remotely offensive. She's already done bake sales and swimming sponsorship. I'm not quite sure what she can do next, but obviously I don't want her to attract the anger and feel bad she did a thoughtless thing, so I won't be encouraging her to raise money this way.

My day job is working with cancer patients and I’ve lost count of how many I’ve spoken to that find these campaigns offensive, even to the point of refusing any kind of contact with Macmillan. The reasons are varied but the overall feeling is that it trivialises and minimises what they’re actually going through and when they’ve spoken up about how they feel, they’ve been ignored and Macmillan have carried on regardless of the feelings of the people they profess to help. It’s a massive problem, especially since services that could be helpful to them are being rejected.

OP if you do decide to go ahead please look into The Little Princess Trust. They will take your hair (as long as there 7 inches or more) and make it into a wig for a child that has suffered hair loss through treatment. On the flip side to the Macmillan issue, I’ve seen what a massive difference the wigs make to the recovery of a child and how ecstatic they and their families are with that particular charity’s efforts. If you do this though, it’s always a great idea to also raise enough money to ensure your hair can be made into a wig. I think it’s usually around £350.

I don't want her to attract the anger and feel bad she did a thoughtless thing, so I won't be encouraging her to raise money this way.

The problem with this is she'll end up doing nothing because someone will always be offended, we are geared up to be offended at the slightest thing these days, often on behalf of others who wouldn't give a toss. The general impression here on MN is its a bad thing to do, go to some others group and she'd be praised. Let her do her own thing and help as best she can and just don't say anything here. At least she's making the effort and deserves support.

Mama I was going to say the same thing. I will encourage my dd to donate her hair, just not the shave if people feel that strongly about it.

Do you know what I find offensive? People lumping all us cancer sufferers together and assuming they know how we all think and feel.
Yes, some are offended by Brave the Shave and I absolutely respect that. Many are not, including me. As far as I was concerned, losing my hair and my breast were as nothing compared to the very real possibility of losing the chance to see my little boys grow up.
I am highly offended by the spiteful, superior tone of some posts on here, basically ridiculing someone with nothing but good intentions.

Another charity that does some amazing work and is desperate for enthusiastic fundraising is Maggie’s Wallace. They’re far, far smaller than a charity like Macmillan and are an invaluable source of information and support to patients. I think they can help with wigs for adults if you want to do something with hair but I’m not 100% on the details.

You CAN do something good, op, just not this.

Do a sponsored parachute jump for Marie Curie instead.

that’s a good one to copy. Not so good to have

Absolutely don't see many people copying that and enduring the embarrassment of this happening in the supermarket, in the company of friends and family and even other patients who do not judge as many go through the same themselves

I'm one of the people who thinks "brave the shave" is offensive and insensitive too. Please find another way to support Macmillan.

It's not the shaving per se that I find disrespectful but the (usually) "me me me" sentiment, having it all over Facebook, instagram etc. And it's not remotely "brave". As others say it seems to be belittling the experience of others that go through chemo.

As a cancer patient with currently no hair I'm not remotely offended.

Crack on OP, great cause and wrap up, it's cold out there!!

They do no research nor fund any. Support only gets you so far.

And research doesn’t help in the here and now. Until we find cures, support is necessary.