aibu to not wear a head scarf

[Itsmemotherfuckers]

I am going to brave the shave for Macmillan and im super excited!

I have had so many positive comments but somewhere I volunteer (non facing client role) has said that when I come in to volunteer I must wear a scarf! reasons are im going from a head full of hair to an extreme hair cut :/

I don't know If iabu or not by telling them actually stick it or its their premises and work so I should adhere to what they say.

I really enjoy volunteering there and I don't want to stop but I am also doing this to raise money, awareness and selfishly to make myself feel better by knowing im doing something.

what do you think?

Well said 'feefee' !!! ^

i'd go to work with a pirate headscarf and hat on top, and follow up with the wildest possible arrays of scarf and hat combos, you said its not client facing so what the hell could senior management be offended by, I doubt they would its just some jobs worth getting their say, is this normal in this type of volunteering to run new haircuts by management, if you were dying it pink would they say ?? oh just go with it but be imaginative

I find the whole 'brave the shave' thing self indulgent: 'Look at me I've done an amazing thing for cancer sufferers and I want everyone to see the evidence'.

my thoughts exactly. if you want to shave your head - just do it and explain NOTHING to NOBODY. It will be much more brave than hiding behind a charitable cause.

trixabelle why would you think it's anything to do with honouring cancer survivors? It's a fundraising thing at it's heart. No-one's saying it will make anyone understand what it's like to have cancer.

I am going to brave the shave for Macmillan and im super excited!
Yes, I can imagine that someone losing their hair from chemo is also super excited. Oh no, wait...
Seriously? Do you actually appreciate how someone in that position might feel? Do you think they'd feel better knowing that you're so chuffed you're having your head shaved while your friends sing your praises on FB?
If you want to raise money and awareness for Macmillan that's great. But try doing it in a way that is highly unlikely to cause offence. Walk or run a distance, bake some cakes, something that requires effort on your part. Not something that is known for causing offence and that requires precious little effort on your part and that minimises attention for Macmillan because everyone is telling you how brave you are for having had a professionally-done head shave. Like people have said above - it's not exactly the same as having random clumps of your hair falling out.

@charlestonchaplin so if they are not honouring cancer patients (and it’s patients because not everyone survives) what are they doing? Just copying the baldness? If they want to copy an aspect of cancer treatment could they maybe burn themselves like some treatments do? Or my personal favourite give themselves a mouthful of ulcers so they can’t eat but give them a diet sheet that insists they eat a lot? Or my second favourite be given medication that makes everything taste just weird? Why copy the baldness? What’s brave about being bald?

I shave my head every couple of years just because I enjoy having very short hair! I’ve never considered it to be inappropriate or offensive...

And why stop at the hair? Why not go completely bald like a wee mole rat. Eyebrows? Pubes? I didn’t miss the funny lil chin hairs tbf but in for a penny in for a pound? Full body brave the shave. Now that I would be fine with. Because then for the tiniest of seconds I would feel like the person was taking the piss for attention.

As others have said bake cakes, walk, run, crochet bomb, walk naked for all I care. But don’t take one aspect of treatment and try to make it cute.

That's a bit disingenuous charlestonchaplin.

Shaving all one's hair off might not make anyone understand what it's like to have cancer but it's emulating one of the best known side effects of Chemo.

It might be a fundraising stunt at heart, but it's fundraising stunt in bad taste, to put it mildly.

And it’s not pip because you don’t hashtag brave the shave everytime you do it for attention. It’s a fashion choice.

Is the hair going to be donated for wigs?

I have no idea what the campaign's about but I have a nephew with the most glorious head of fast-growing hair who donates his every few years.

If the shaved hair is donated, great. If not, what an awful waste.

Maybe just wear a scarf to work, OP. It's too cold to go without. Plus statement scarves are helpful to those going through chemo who don't want to be seen without hair.

The campaign is about doing something different to get attention and therefore cash. There is a limited amount people are willing to donate. I guess the charity is trying to get more going on its direction.

Running, cake-baking etc is a bit mundane now. I think some people are more likely to donate when a person who's known for being fussy about their looks or their hair in particular decides to shave it off for what they see as good cause. It's not brave in the grand scheme of things but it is a big step for many people, which is what they are trying to convey with that tagline.

Not mundane at all to raise money in a way that doesn’t insult the people your trying to raise money for.

But don’t take one aspect of treatment and try to make it cute

Spot on.

Its a difficult one this.
On one hand, I suppose you should abide by the rules of the charity and if that doesn't work, just think of the people you are helping.
On the other hand , I assume shaving your head is not just for people to sponsor you but also to bring it more into the public eye, so people can ask you about it and hopefully you can share and enlighten people about Macmillians plight and focus.
I can only suggest you speak to them again and tell them the reasons why you would to show people your shorter hair and to illicit conversations for the charity.
If you feel it maybe just one uppity manager, then tell them to show you where it says about staff dress and if the charity will be happy if you tell friends that you were not allowed to support Macmillians

Chemo trashed my teeth. It destroys everything in it's path. I had to have the top front four pulled out.
Are you going to have teeth removed so people can ask you about it so you can raise awareness? No, thought not.

@PippilottaLongstocking its not offensive when it's a style choice because you like your hair short. You're not doing it for recognition!

@Feefeetrixabelle burn themselves like some treatments do?

OR walk around wetting yourself and having diarrhoea because pelvic radiation Literally blasts the crap out of you!

I am not really sure what to think of this thread.

I am pretty sure that if the OP did Couch to 5k she would earn a lot less money than doing 'Brave the Shave'. There are heaps of other threads on here which show people hate donating money for people jogging, baking cakes and so forth. So- Brave the Shave IS more shocking and therefore more likely to get people talking about it and paying money. If your main concern was the amount of money raised, then Brave the Shave (which the OP did not invent as a slogan) is possibly better.

You could also find other forms of fundraising equally offensive.

Baking cakes is pretty offensive when many chemo patients can hardly eat anything or keep it down.

Running a marathon is pretty tactless when many chemo patients are hospitalized, not able to walk steadily or just feel exhausted for months or years on end.

I don't know if anything will be pleasing in this situation in which the need to do something 'different' (because people aren't just going to hand over money if you don't do anything) but also to be respectful to the experience of chemo (which is bloody awful on multiple fronts).

I feel a bit sorry for the OP as her intention to raise money is incredibly important these days- the NHS is pared back and a lot of what is offered to cancer patients is charity-based, our local charity is exceptional in supporting all kinds of treatments/chemo in easier locations and so forth.

However, the Op can't do this now, knowing how offensive so many people who have had chemo find it, even though others don't. Sorry OP.

While some people who have had cancer find the head-shaving thing offensive or upsetting, others who have had cancer find that having their friends and family shave their heads makes them feel supported. I think if you do it because a friend or family member undergoing cancer treatment likes the idea, good luck to you - a lot of people who do this are eg parents of kids undergoing chemo and find it makes the kid feel better if mum/dad has no hair either.

#moleratformoney

Btw I aim no anger at the op. She clearly hadn’t thought it through and hopefully now she will find another way of raising money. It’s people who try to tell cancer patients we should somehow be grateful that someone is trying to make our illness #adorbs

zipyy that’s a good one to copy. Not so good to have.

I'm a cancer survivor and I hate all this shaving head thing. Me too

Running a marathon is pretty tactless when many chemo patients are hospitalized, not able to walk steadily or just feel exhausted for months or years on end

I disagree. Running a marathon is marathon is a normal thing to do to raise money. It’s a general thing. Shaving your hair so that you look like you have had cancer is a weird thing to do.

TBH. I don’t like sponsoring people to do things for charity. Its often more about the person doing the activity rather than the actual charity. Look at how many people did the ice challenge and didn’t bother actually giving any money.

I much rather a simple request.

While some people who have had cancer find the head-shaving thing offensive or upsetting, others who have had cancer find that having their friends and family shave their heads makes them feel supported

I agree that in some circumstances shaving your head in support of a friend or family member is a nice thing to do. I think it’s different than a stranger doing it to raise money.

Surprisingly perhaps a it looks like a number of those who 'brave the shave' are cancer sufferers who knowing their hairs going to go have decided to prempt the loss by shaving it off to raise cash. Is it any worse than raising funds for a cause than any other ways? Daftest to me is the people who go on adventure holidays to raise funds. Why sponsor someone to go on holiday to climb Kilimanjaro or go dog sleding in the Arctic.