..or is my friend a cake wanker?

[sconebonjovi]

'It was my friend's 30th birthday party yesterday; a surprise that I helped organise. I spent all morning making a lovely cake for the party. According to the recipe it served 32 people.
Took the cake to the pub, lit the candles, sang happy birthday etc etc, was all very nice.

When we left the pub, she asked my husband to drop the cake back at her house. When I said ‘don’t you want to take it to the restaurant so everyone can have a piece’ she said ‘no, I want to have as much of it as possible’, and that was that.

Am I being petty, or is that really bloody weird?! Our other friends were also a little confused as to what had happened to the cake. Cake is for sharing!

Did she pay you to make a cake or was it your birthday gift? Or was it in addition to your birthday gift, as a contribution to the evening?

If it was a surprise party, I imagine she gave you no money for cake. In which case, cheeky cake fucker.

Nothing to contribute, just PMSL @ "cake wanker"

My immediate thought is that she didn’t want to take a cake to a restaurant (because you can’t really do that unless it’s by prior arrangement) and she said she wanted it all herself to be nice and avoid embarrassing you.

Unless she is actually planning to share it with other people, surely a lot of it will go to waste?

YANBU - that's really weird. How can one person eat a cake for 32 people - it won't last long enough for her to eat the whole thing unless she eats enough cake to make her sick. And I am saying that as a person that can put away a lot of cake!

I’d think it was funny. Let her enjoy the cake.
Eating birthday cake in a restaurant is so awkward. Having people sing to you is mortifying as well.
Accept the compliment and move on.

Another vote for weird. We attended a family wedding where there was a big deal made of cutting the cake but no one was offered any. It was three tiers and I later heard they threw most of it away. It makes no sense.

Was it chocolate fudge cake? Is your friend Bruce Bogtrotter or miss Trunchball

Loving the phrase 'cake wanker'

And yes, she is one. She's weird. But clearly loves your cake!

Yep, she's a cake wanker. Birthday cake is for sharing!

Did bring to mind a birthday cake I had as a child, at my dad and step mother's house. We all had cake together, there was around two thirds of it left and they KEPT IT when they dropped me home later on. (Probably didn't want my mum to be able to have a piece!)

I think the point here has been completely missed... surely the most important question to ask is what icing was on the cake? If it was butter icing - or even better- cream cheese icing, I would have taken it home myself and scoffed the icing. Might even have given the restaurant a miss just to make sure I had enough room for 32 servings of icing. (Clearly would not eat the sponge because that would just be greedy). If your friend managed to restrain herself enough to come to the restaurant first, I think that was quite impressive.

Meh I couldn’t get worked up about this.

I’m also still not clear on how you ended up in a pub with the cake in tow when you were meant to be at someone’s house. I thought you said it was a planned thing.

Wierdest thing i came accross at a birthday party was when they didn’t seeve the cake.

Must have been about a 7 or 8 th birthday. Dropped dc off and dutifully returned at the allotted time to pick her up. Party breaking up, i’m getting dd to say her thank you’s and goodbyes when she whispered when were they going to do the cake?

And yes, there in the middle of the remains of the birthday food was the birthday cake. Uncut, uncandled, still in the box.

It was only sainsburys spongebob cake so I couldn’t think they were saving it. I did hover a bit in case they said hang on, don’t go before we do cake- that has happened when they've left the cake right until the end. But no, they happily waved everyone off.

Odd.

You made a cake for 32 and she didn't want to share it between 6 people?!

That's so selfish and stingy. I absolutely love cake and I would have shared it. In fact if I'm having a birthday party I will often have two cakes, one to share at the party and one to eat at home

Please don't do her any more favours. She's not a good'un is she?

total cake-wanker. and..i can probably eat 32 servings...but not if being quite as blatently rude and not sharing

But no, they happily waved everyone off.

That one sounds like they forgot about the cake! Or maybe only noticed once the party had already started breaking up so thought it would be easier just to let it go rather than awkwardly ask people to wait.

Still don't think singing over the cake at a separate venue to where you want to eat it is right even with the OPs explaination (whether it was a home or pub is irrelevant, you sing etc when you serve it!).

Just arrange things with the restaurant to bring the cake out next time OP, and then what you want will happen!

I wonder if this is now a 'thing'. We were invited round to dinner at a friend the other day and took a coulpe of bottle of naice wine, cheese and chocolate.. it all went in their fridge and we didn't see any of it! . Its happened before when we've taken things t the same people.. but when guests bring stuff to us to us we always have it to share on the evening..

Why would you call your friend a wanker? Nice!! Thats weird!

I got charged £2 pp for plates for cake (and for them to slice it!)

I definitely wouldn't want cake brought to a restaurant because it usually means candles and singing, I'm very introverted and would be mortified and upset. Despite knowing this a close friend did this a few years ago but said it was her young ds who wanted to do it. She also cancelled my dessert order to do this. So if someone gave me the cake before hand I would definitely take it home to avoid that situation again

How big would a cake have to be to serve 32 - must be industrial sized :).

Weird to take a cake to a restaurant AND take it home.

(I have taken cakes to a restaurant with no issues if they are told before.)

Bit weird! I would of cut maybe 1/4 of it for a treat at home for next few days but served the rest? We're all adults, surely if you want cake that badly then you could just drive to buy some cake!

Scottishdaisy. What a brilliant post. Not going to say i agree because i might appear greedy.

Very rude, pretty sad behavior