..or is my friend a cake wanker?

[sconebonjovi]

'It was my friend's 30th birthday party yesterday; a surprise that I helped organise. I spent all morning making a lovely cake for the party. According to the recipe it served 32 people.
Took the cake to the pub, lit the candles, sang happy birthday etc etc, was all very nice.

When we left the pub, she asked my husband to drop the cake back at her house. When I said ‘don’t you want to take it to the restaurant so everyone can have a piece’ she said ‘no, I want to have as much of it as possible’, and that was that.

Am I being petty, or is that really bloody weird?! Our other friends were also a little confused as to what had happened to the cake. Cake is for sharing!

Could she be one of those people who are squeamish about eating food made in other people's homes because of cleanliness standards? Maybe she didn't want to eat it at all, worried about food poisoning or something and thought chucking away later would be more diplomatic?

A bit selfish. Where I live it's very common for birthday cakes to be brought into restaurants. Most of them will give you plates & utensils, many will bring it to the table with candles glowing and sing Happy Birthday.

funny i went to a 30th aswell

but we cut up most of the cake and she took a quarter home id say thays fair-bit greedy to not give a few pieces out

blimey. Piggy! But I don't blame her.

More details please!

You took the cake to the pub first. The restaurant party of the party was later.

So was the cake already cut at the pub and those guests had some?

I can see not wanting to take an already cut half eaten cake on to a restaurant.

Her cake her rules.

Based on what you've said here, you also have form for being rude.

You are a fake baking wanker. You wanted the kudos of bringing a cake to share rather than a kind gesture for your friend. If you want to share cake like this do it on your own birthday.

Unless she asked you to bake a cake for the restaurant, yabu.

a cake for 32 is massive theres no way she would eat it alone and im fat i should know

Completely agree TechnicalSergeantGarp.

If you wanted everyone to have your cake then maybe you could have kept it until the end of the restaurant meal to bring out. Wanting to cart around your cake and keep wheeling it out sounds like you were just after praise for it tbh.

You can't make someone something and then dictate what they do with it.

That’s very rude! After everyone had seen the cake as well!

You are a fake baking wanker

I hope that's tongue in cheek, because it really made me laugh

YANBU OP, it's a bit weird and selfish.

That said usually you only bring cake to a restaurant if you're actually going to do the candles etc there.

Yes, very odd to bring out the cake at the pub if it wasn't going to be eaten there. Lighting candles and blowing them out happens straight before cutting and eating!

It's normal round here to ask the restaurant staff to bring it out at the end of the meal. (Never had a restaurant refuse to bring out birthday cake! Some do charge).

You were odd, then she was odd. No wonder people were confused!

I think she was a bit rude, but it is her cake and it's also a bit shit to give a gift and then dictate what someone does with it.

You’d made it for her to share after the meal. Very odd she took the whole thing home rather then a1/4

It’s a complement !!!!

Very odd indeed. I wonder if she really will eat it?

How is it "her" cake? When the OP has said it wasn't her present, surely it's part of the celebrations. Is the buffet, "her" buffet as well? What do you all do when you have birthday parties with cakes, do you allow all the guest to look at it then go "right, that's it, time to put the cake away"?

You should have said, "no..it's to share, after our meal at the restaurant!!" Then brought it to the restaurant!

How many people were supposed to share the cake?
I agree that a serving suggestion of 32 is best case scenario more like 14!
I wouldn't have taken it home because I wouldn't want people thinking I'm a fat or greedy (unfortunately I'm both these things so I definitely have to be self aware and diplomatic in these situations) and I would share the cake even if I only got the tiniest slice.

She obvs didn’t want to choose between dessert and cake

I had a family member do this to me before. I spend hours decorating a cake for her (bday was Saturday, mean Thursday so I Baker cake on the Tuesday then decorated on Wednesday). She let us sing her happy birthday and do candles then didn't cut into it to keep it for her actual birthday on the Saturday. I was a annoyed as not only wouldn't I get a piece but she would be eating it past its best in my opinion.

Yeah she's a greedy guts. Is she really going to have 32 helpings?

I remember I had a cakemaker fellow school mum I know who I paid to make me a fabulous Top Gun cake for my 40th. It was awsome, I took it to the pub where my friends and I had a lovely meal, and cake for dessert, I remember trying to cut very small pieces so I could enjoy the rest in the vicinity of my own home. The pieces ended up huge as the cake was big, and there was a fair bit left over for home .

Maybe she didn't want the embarrassment of being sung to in a restaurant. Normally if you have cake at a restaurant someone drops it straight to the kitchen as a surprise rather than the birthday-person bringing their own. Maybe she felt awkward about it. Did the cake look big enough for everyone?