AIBU to despair at my life with young children

[readysetcake]

I feel trapped! You can’t go anywhere without it turning into a major hassle. Crying, screaming, mountains of stuff, fear of forgetting snacks, over tired, miserable children. I feel the choice is to be a hermit, where I go out of my mind with the boring monotonous nature of it all, or face going to events and getting stressed out and fighting with DH and come home thinking what a shit miserable time we’ve had. I thought having kids was meant to be fun sometimes. When is it fun? Mine are 3 and almost 6 months.

Is this it now until they’re teenagers and fuck off out by themselves? Am I never to have an enjoyable day out unless I’m without my children?

I hear you

I have a 4 yo and a 1 yo. The 4 yo (almost 5) is a joy to take places now. In general. Has been for maybe the last year or so.

Though that could just be in comparison with my manic 1 yo...

It gets better and easier when they start school. They can be fun then. I have 5 kids and my youngest is 3.5, through experience I’m waiting til he’s 5 and I know it’ll get better.

I have two adult sons though (22 and 19) and the worry is just as bad.

Today 1 yo had a tantrum because I wouldn't let him drink the muddy puddle. Sigh.

Teenagers are no better, moan a lot and opinionated 

4/5yr olds are fun.

They stay up later and seem never to go to bed 

I have a 4 nearly 5 year old and a 15 month old. The older one is great now, we can play games, have a chat, go to cinema etc. She could be a nightmare at 3 though. The little one is lovely but everything is indeed a pain in the arse. It does get better though so hang in there!

You are in the very tough nightmare stage. Ime its lovely between 5 - 10. Our 12 year old has essentially vanished into her friendship group so treasure those middle years.

Yup! All of the above

You are in the really difficult stage. Primary school age is fun... sometimes .

I seriously thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life when my DS was between 2 and 4. It was utter hell. He’s nearly 6 now and a joy (a lot of the time).

We’ll ignore the fact I’ve just had a baby and it’s all going to happen again in 2 years.

It is tough. You have about the worst ages possible though. As pps have said, it gets much better from 4 onwards. In the meantime you have to choose days out carefully and have the organisation of the military.

With you OP. I have a 3 going on 15 year old and a 5 month old. Most trips out results in tears (sometimes mine) and bargaining/threats. Sometimes he can be delightful and it gives me false confidence for the next time.

I had a rant to my friend who has a 5 year old and 2 year old and she said it does get easier now her oldest is more compliant. I'm holding her to that.

Much

I have a 5 yo (actually not too bad on his own and on a good day, but on a hair trigger the rest of the time) and a 2 yo who is a manipulative little madam who will calmly lie down in a puddle on the floor of a multi-storey car park because she thinks I will cave in.

A friend described this period as being in the trenches. Bearing in mind the time of year I don’t mean any disrespect but it bloody feels like it sometimes. Bombarded from all sides.

I feel your pain. Whatever I try to do with my 17 month old inevitably ends in whining, moaning and tantrums. I feel like I can’t be bothered to leave the house but that’s even worse. Currently expecting my second so I guess I’ve got a lot of this ahead of me.

I feel you! Mine are 3.5 and 1. Everything is a battle! The older one is constantly whining and misbehaving and just generally mentally exhausting and the little one is now a permanent tornado intent on destroying herself and everything. I feel like the baby was always the easier one to deal with and now the tables have turned and I’d rather deal with the older one.

I’ve been told it does get better. I hope so!

Dd was a hard new born, became delightful (if you ignore the sleeping and general desire to be attached to me at all times in a claustrophobia inducing way) at a year till about two weeks ago - we’re a couple of months of three and she’s turned into a supersonic banshee again.

I don’t drive and she’s currently refusing the buggy and holding my hand so I’m seriously thinking we’re going to be stuck in till she bucks up because she’s frankly a bloody danger. Three full on, on-the-floor-wailing, tantrums the other day to get up the road and frankly I can’t take it. She still doesn’t sleep properly (so can’t really use a baby sitter) and I’m exhausted with the thought of her at the moment.

I love my three days at work

Small children are hard work. It’s a fact. I am alone parent so found the early years particularly relentless. Although I found staying at home all day even harder so used to try to get out and about as much as possible on weekends. It gets better. Different issues now - huge arguments, rudeness, talking back!!! But that’s usually when I ask dd to do something. But at 12 she is actually really fun to spend time with (when she isn’t being horribly difficult!!!).

It honestly does get easier. My DDs are 9 and 6. They're both adopted and DD1 has a lot of SN relating to this, but even so, some things are so much easier, especially now they're both fully toilet trained!

We even managed to have a lovely holiday in Canada this summer, and they both coped really well most of the time. I never would have thought that possible even a year ago.

There's still the bickering between themselves and the back chat, though.

This is why I only had one 😉

Are you trying to do too much? What kind of events do you mean? When mine were that age we wouldn't eat out anywhere except McDonald's/a zoo cafe, socialising would need to be at someone's house or a park. Sometimes when I rained I used to walk ds1 around the shopping centre for exercise.

That’s why I have 10 years between my two. It took me 10 years to forget how awful the baby and toddler stage is....!

Mine are 7 and 9, and it hasn’t got better. They fight, they moan, they whine.

Today I’ve had ‘mummyyyyyyyyyy’ in a whiney voice, and just know it’s something irrelevant. I’ve had dd2 constantly invading my space ie at dinner table pawing me for a cuddle whilst I’m trying to eat. I’m sat on the sofa, she’ll sit on the arm and bounce up and down so I spill my tea 🙄 ffs a bit of peace would be nice.

The fighting.... 😒

It gets easier, I promise OP. Time goes so quick. Try to enjoy them, before you know it they will be teenagers.

It gets better! It does. But it really helps to have a local friend with kids of a similar age.

I went to a parent and child club when I had little ones, and it saved my life. I was there when they opened and the last to leave. You just went and sat and watched your kids - you didn't have to talk to anyone unless you wanted to, at least until your child snatched something from someone else ...

So much of looking after children is boring, routine and difficult. But it does get better. Very soon!

Hang on in there .