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Original poster

Heart broken

104 replies

HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:18

I put a thread on here on Thursday saying i had found out my "boyfriend" was married, I told his wife everything, although she doesnt believe a word of it even with proven messages from him to me, and he has messaged me saying he hates me and blocked me on everything possible, I suppose I should be glad its all out in the open, but I am truely heart broken. I dont know what to do. I hate him for what he has done, but its killing me, I cant concentrate and i feel constantly sick, i just what to cry...Please tell me to get a grip!.....and how Sad

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Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:19

I told his wife because she messaged and asked.

OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 10/11/2018 18:23

I read some of your other thread. This is the best thing for you in the long run. Although it's hard now you are well shot of him and you will thank your lucky stars that this has happened in a few months' time. You did the right thing being honest with his wife. If she doesn't believe you then more fool her. There's not much more you can do but block all contact and please, please never go back there!

Thanks
Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:34

@GreenMeerkat I know you are right, because it happened so quick, I havnt had closure if you like. I hate it, this is the worst feeling in the world. I cant see forward at the moment

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mummymeister · 10/11/2018 18:56

but you know deep down you will move forward. I am glad he has blocked you because its going to stop you saying some thing daft. heart break is bloody horrible. but you just have to give yourself a bit of tlc and move on. there isn't any other choice is there?

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:58

I'm just so sad, I want him to knock on the door just so I can tell him to fuck off- but also don't want him to because I fear I would take him back. Everything is going round in my head, and I cant think of anything else, even though Im trying my very hardest to

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Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:59

@mummymeister Im struggling, It doesnt help that its the weekend, with nothing to do. I do know I will move forward, just wish i could fast forward to that point.

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Alfie190 · 10/11/2018 19:05

I think I read your thread to. And you were playing cruel mind games with the wife. So I am afraid my sympathy is limited. If I got the wrong person, my apologies.

KC225 · 10/11/2018 19:05

Can you arrange something tomorrow? Go see a friend or some family? In times like this its good to be occupied.

He wasn't a good guy. He is a liar and a cheat. His wife is deluded, he will do this again. Be kind to yourself, it will get better.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:10

@Alfie190 That was me, I didnt intend to play mind games, I just didnt want to be the one to answer her questions and was trying to word it differently, I just told her in the end, and it back fired.

@KC225 Everyone is busy, Sundays are usually my quiet days, when we would meet up and do something, I need to think of something to keep me busy, Its just so hard.

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selepele · 10/11/2018 19:16

me too op :-(

sorry you're going through this but it was the right thing to do what you did he wasn't right for you

selepele · 10/11/2018 19:18

men don't feel bad straight away unlike women, women will hurt/cry want to get back with you straight away were men will have a fuck you attitude until around 3 months then they will see how fucked up they been and want to come back by that time the woman has moved on
but don't ever take him back please this is drama you don't need

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:19

@selepele Its a horrible feeling isnt it, nothing you can do can make it go away, How are you coping? Sorry to hear you are feeling the same Flowers

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Didsomeonesaybunny · 10/11/2018 19:26

OP read your last thread and I’ve been here myself. Having someone think you’re lying is really awful, but at the end of the day you don’t really need a stranger to believe you, perhaps she does believe you deep down but nevertheless has chosen to forgive, it happens.

Whilst it’s hard to believe now, you are better off without the lying asshole. Try not to navel gaze too much and get out there and meet new people. There are so many lovely, honourable men out there

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:30

@Didsomeonesaybunny Whats really got to me was the things he said to me when we were together, I know he meant them,he had no reason to say them otherwise. Now its all out in the open, he said he didnt mean a word of it and that he hates me, How can someone be so cruel? Sad

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Holdingonbarely · 10/11/2018 19:32

Because he was lying to you, and now he just wants to hurt you further.
This is not a good man

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:36

@Holdingonbarely But why? I never hurt him in anyway, so why does he need to hurt me like that? He didnt have to say anything, he couldve kept quiet.

I know this makes me sound like a twat, but he begged me not to tell her, And now I wish i never because I dont think i would be feeling like this, I wouldnt have got the blame or been told I was lying.

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crispysausagerolls · 10/11/2018 19:37

Could you link to the other thread please

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:40

@Crispysausagerolls MN removed it

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AmIFalling · 10/11/2018 19:42

Well, he's a dick. I've felt heartbreak so bad I physically hurt. I shagged around, screamed in my car at the top of my lungs, cried so hard it hurt, threw a glass at a wall, drank heavily. It took a long time but it did get better. Time is a healer, just try to ride the shitty waves till then.

My ex was emotionally abusive and controlling. I didn't read the other thread but it sounds like this guy may be too? Although I would have wanted him back (at one point I would have given ANYTHING to have him back) in retrospect I can see he was just a selfish prick and although I still have a gut reaction when I see pics of him in my mind I know he wouldn't be good for me and I would never really be happy with him.

ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 10/11/2018 19:44

Similar thing happened to me. Was awful at the time and I was desperate for the validation in being believed by the wife but, long term, it’s not important. She’s the one who’s suffered as a result of not believing the truth that I told her.

Be kind to yourself, OP.

GotThatWhatWhat · 10/11/2018 19:45

Yeah, sorry, what Alfie190 said - you were clearly loving the drama, power and control.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 10/11/2018 19:46

He's lashing out at you, because you outed him.

He wont be thinking about his own behaviour, he'll just feel hard done by like all cheaters.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:47

@AmIfalling Thats exactly how I am feeling, I want to scream, I want cry, I want to throw things but my child will think ive gone looney. lol. I keep reading over the messages we sent to each other, there are hundreds, I know i should delete them, but I cant. Jesus, its almost like he has died and im grieving

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Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:50

@GotThatWhatWhat Believe me, I wasnt loving any of it, I wanted it all to go away, I still do, I want to forget all about it.

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AmIFalling · 10/11/2018 19:52

@HelpmeNOW352879 I actually found the heartbreak harder than grief in many ways. I know that's a horrible thing to say but with death, it's final. With being dumped by someone you truely love you have to still go on knowing that he's out there, continuing life happy with someone else. I know it won't feel like this now but you honestly are better off. If you're not ready to delete everything and move on just try to give it time x

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