Heart broken

[HelpmeNOW352879]

I put a thread on here on Thursday saying i had found out my "boyfriend" was married, I told his wife everything, although she doesnt believe a word of it even with proven messages from him to me, and he has messaged me saying he hates me and blocked me on everything possible, I suppose I should be glad its all out in the open, but I am truely heart broken. I dont know what to do. I hate him for what he has done, but its killing me, I cant concentrate and i feel constantly sick, i just what to cry...Please tell me to get a grip!.....and how

You’ll get there. One day at a time. They’ll be ups and downs. But you will get there. I know you might not believe me right now.

It will pass OP I was in a similar situation when I was younger, he wasn't married but had a long term GF. I had no idea, when she messaged me, it felt like my world had fallen apart he'd spent that weekend meeting my parents. She was initially vile to me, but I stayed calm and answered her questions honestly add I would've wanted to know in her shoes. Eventually she asked to speak to me and I'm glad I did because quickly she realised I wasn't some man stealing nightmare, but that I'd been duped too. I felt gullible, used, betrayed and I'm sure it was worse for her as they'd been together a few years. However as sad as I felt, I was ANGRY, how dare he treat me like that! I never ever saw him again, blocked him from everything and if I had bumped into him there would've been no concern about whether I'd lose my resolve and get back with him because I deserve more than a man like that and so do you.
His GF took him back for a bit but I heard from her a few months later and she'd left him. Didn't trust him anymore and rightly so.
You've been played on this situation, you've now told her the truth because she asked. Now hold your head up high and move on, you will feel sad, everything you thought about the relationship was a lie, that doesn't mean anything about him or wanting him back, that's just regret about the way you've been treated and the time you've wasted. Onwards and upwards.

HelpMe, I was one of the earlier dissenters on this thread because I'd read your earlier one. That said, I'm really sad to read that you're still feeling as sad now. I'm sorry for my earlier post, it was harsh and you didn't need that.

He hasn't treated you well, there's no doubt about that. He's getting off relatively scott free whilst you're left to pick up the pieces of your own life without him - and coupled with his disloyalty to you (apart from that to his wife). He had no reason to behave this way and, if he couldn't behave honourably to his marriage, he could at least have given some consideration to the person who he was having a relationship with outside of it. I know that won't be a popular opinion but I don't care, it's true. In an extra-marital relationship, sometimes the only truth is between those two parties in it, not the legitimised relationships.

The point that I'm long-windedly making is that you shouldn't waste your tears and concern on this man any longer. He could have been far more decent to you than he has been. Focus on that, that he's not the man you thought he was and that you will do better - he will just have more of the same as he had (and didn't value).

You will get past this. You will.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thank you for your kind words. am starting to feel a little better about things now, I have started to put things in perspective , although the hurt is still there, I think im feeling disappointment more than anything. Im disappointed that the relationship I thought was fantastic was a lie, Im disappointed that I fell for everything he said, he really was a good lier, and I feel so stupid and gullible. But most of all, I am disappointed that I am single....again, maybe thats why I was so confused about everything, I had been single a long time before I met him, and I so wanted it to work out. But, hey, these things happen for a reason, onwards and upwards as they say.