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Original poster

Heart broken

104 replies

HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:18

I put a thread on here on Thursday saying i had found out my "boyfriend" was married, I told his wife everything, although she doesnt believe a word of it even with proven messages from him to me, and he has messaged me saying he hates me and blocked me on everything possible, I suppose I should be glad its all out in the open, but I am truely heart broken. I dont know what to do. I hate him for what he has done, but its killing me, I cant concentrate and i feel constantly sick, i just what to cry...Please tell me to get a grip!.....and how Sad

OP posts:
dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:24

Anyone who willingly becomes some cheating loser's ho-bag sort of deserves what's coming.

whatsthestory123 · 10/11/2018 20:26

he dosent want you op

he's blocked you and made no contact

truth is he wanted his ego stroked and thought he could get away with cheating but never had any intetion of leaving his family

he dosent want you.except it and move forward

SideEyeing · 10/11/2018 20:26

I think you're getting a hard time. I don't agree that you were 'game playing', just mishandling a situation out of panic and possible immaturity.

Heartbreak is horrific, it really is. I do think you should be thankful that you're not experiencing what his wife will shortly be or already is going through. But it is nonetheless a form of grief.

Just to be clear, the OP had no idea he was married.

OP, you sound pretty vulnerable. Look after yourself - you are seriously, seriously better off without him.

diddl · 10/11/2018 20:28

But what did you expect him to do/say?

tolerable · 10/11/2018 20:28

i sound harsh here.but the positive is in your" its almost like he has died and im grieving".thats good.no coming back from it.from the outside its defo a plus sign. hes a twat-he cheats his wife..so you were just an extension of his rotteness.its way easier to blame you than have him/her face their own reality. hurt is a horrible feeling.he isnt sitting worrying or giving a damn how you feel.fact..thats the reasonable part....feelings is a whole different set up.scream into a pillow.cry.get squiffy\eat chocolate..tie a string round a pillow dangle it from a opendoorway n punch it til your done punching..its not fair. it will pass..its a bit soon to get to the pickself up phase.you tube heartbrake songs til you finish crying and be thankfull you didni end up lumpt with a guy thats full of shit...doomf doomf doomf..nuva one bites the dust.dad told me "if theres a man worth your tears he wont make you cry"..hope youre ok.its a shitzone

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:28

@LadyFlumpalot I had blocked them on FB as that was how she was contacting me, I deleted his number. I didnt even think he would contact me after all this, but he did via text, said what he needed to say then blocked all other communication. I am gald as it means I cant contact him either out of anger or whatever it may be.

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 10/11/2018 20:30

He wants to hurt you because you’re the fall guy in his fucked up life.
You’re the easy target.
He didn’t love you. That isn’t love. You do know what love is don’t you

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:31

@dontalltalkatonce I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS MARRIED!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:32

@diddl Say or do about what?

OP posts:
Didsomeonesaybunny · 10/11/2018 20:32

I’m shocked by how nasty some of the posters have been to the OP - I’m not really sure what she has done, she’s simply been taken in by a man who is an asshole and when the wife asked she told her the truth. Personally as the wife I’d rather know that my husband was having sex with someone else.

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:34

Yes, I was on your other thread. You didn't know. I didn't, either, but once I found out there was ZERO way I was going to even think about going back to him because that's not love, that's just . . . slaggery. And when she asked, well, why dither about telling her the truth? I mean, really? You are really dramatic and come across as quite immature and needy and silly. What age are you? This sounds like something my mate went through when she was 19.

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:35

I’m shocked by how nasty some of the posters have been to the OP - I’m not really sure what she has done, she’s simply been taken in by a man who is an asshole and when the wife asked she told her the truth.

If you'd read the other thread, you'd get it.

diddl · 10/11/2018 20:35

About you telling his wife when asked?

You can't be surprised at his response?

Why do you care after the way he treated you?

It can't be losing him that you're upset about, but losing the relationship you thought you had/could have had?

ButchyRestingFace · 10/11/2018 20:36

I’m shocked by how nasty some of the posters have been to the OP - I’m not really sure what she has done

Did you read her previous thread? I didn't. But the people who has criticised her so far all appear to have read the previous thread(s).

It's a pity it's been pulled.

SideEyeing · 10/11/2018 20:37

@dontalltalkatonce I read the other thread - I think you're being rather harsh.

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:39

Righty-o, Side, but admitting you'd become someone's OW when you know he's got a wife and kids and meerkating round town hoping to run into him because it's love isn't harsh at all Hmm.

MrsTommyBanks · 10/11/2018 20:42

It's not all about you.
It's about a marriage and children.
You were used and have now been cast aside.
I'm sorry that's harsh, but it is what it is.

SideEyeing · 10/11/2018 20:42

To me that sounds like someone who's upset and heartbroken and not thinking rationally. I don't agree with the behaviour at all. But it's probably all been a bit of a shock and until Thursday the OP thought she had a loving relationship going. I appreciate where you're coming from in delivering a reality check but I think this thread is turning into a bunch of people piling in to 'beat someone while they're down'.

GnomeDePlume · 10/11/2018 20:43

I read your other thread. His wife does believe you she just doesnt want it to be true. Just like you dont want it to be true that he is married.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:46

@dontalltalkatonce But everyone deals with situations differently, Im glad you managed to block it all out immediately, I cant, that doesnt make either one of us wrong or right, its just the way we are. Im not going to apologise for being hurt and heartbroken because what i thought was a great relationship...wasnt. I will get over it, Ill be glad i told him to fuck off when I first found out all about, but at the moment, Im struggling. It wasnt a matter of dithering when telling her the truth, It was a matter of thinking what the best thing to say was, I honestly didnt want to say yeah..we have been sleeping together, I didnt want to be the one to damage her.

@Diddl I didnt think he would contact me at all, i thought he would keep quiet and hide away, like the coward he is. Maybe you are right, Its not him im upset about losing, but the thought that we were going to live happily ever after, and the fact I believed all he said, that makes me feel like a stupid, gullible person, and I thought I was stronger and wiser than I am, Obvioulsy not

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 10/11/2018 20:46

I read the other thread. It seemed entirely that people still blamed her for being an OW.
In real time, she dithered and that came across badly. And perhaps she shouldn’t have come on here and done it in real time. Which makes her come across as a bit immature. But I can’t really see how she did anything wrong.
You’ve just found out the person you love is married and then the man attacks you and the wife interrogates you
I mean come on

Holdingonbarely · 10/11/2018 20:48

@dontalltalkatonce
What the fuck! Someone finds out their being used and abused and lied to. And they should go, oh well, the wife’s feelings are more important than mine and I’ll just suck it all up and stop loving someone.

FYI. You sound bitter, perhaps you haven’t got over whoever cheated on you, and you’re probably still blaming the ow for what your husband did to you.

HazelBite · 10/11/2018 20:50

I think OP you are being dramatic, when similar happened to me, I didn't "grieve" the relationship, quite frankly I was embarassed, humiliated that I had been made a fool of by some bloke by believing his crap.

Op it wasn't a "relationship" it was basically a crock of shit!

Stop making something of it he wasn't yours, he was a lie, look at the reality of it, it was nothing.

Holdingonbarely · 10/11/2018 20:51

@HazelBite
Well done for having a heart of stone
Congrats!!

Rachelover40 · 10/11/2018 20:53

Oh Helpmenow, my heart goes out to you. It's the most horrible feeling in the world. However you did the right thing and in time, you'll be glad. He was a really bad man to dupe you and now to say he hates you etc. He's showing himself in his true colours.

Just give it time Flowers.