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Original poster

Heart broken

104 replies

HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 18:18

I put a thread on here on Thursday saying i had found out my "boyfriend" was married, I told his wife everything, although she doesnt believe a word of it even with proven messages from him to me, and he has messaged me saying he hates me and blocked me on everything possible, I suppose I should be glad its all out in the open, but I am truely heart broken. I dont know what to do. I hate him for what he has done, but its killing me, I cant concentrate and i feel constantly sick, i just what to cry...Please tell me to get a grip!.....and how Sad

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GotThatWhatWhat · 10/11/2018 19:56

Nah, not buying it - you toyed with her like a cat with its prey, mental and emotional abuse really.

You tried posting with the poor lil me, I'm the real victim here angle - but it was clearly posturing.

You got the thread pulled cos posters were calling you out on both counts.

Wouldn't surprise me if you knew all along but thought he'd pick you which is why you were desperate to keep him sweet.

Nasty.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 19:58

@AmIfalling youre right, I was out in town today and I was like a meerkat looking around for him just in case he was in town, its so pathetic, It does scare me a little though, because I think if I do see him and we talk I'll take him back, My head is saying what a lying cheating hurtful twat he is, my heart is saying I still love him, and I want him.

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AmIRightOrAMeringue · 10/11/2018 19:58

She doesn't believe it because he has lied to her, he is currently calling you a crazy bitch who's invented it all and will be accusing you of being 'mental' and jealous etc and trying to break them up. If she'd chucked him out he would currently be round yours telling you he was glad it's out in the open, she was begging him to come back but he chose you etc. Then you'd be together and forever looking over your shoulder and waiting for him to do it to you.

There are no winners here but you're going to be able to move on quicker than everyone else and get on with your life without any reminders unlike them as they have a child

Just keep reminding yourself that the whole relationship was a lie, the person you thought you love doesn't actually exist

AmIFalling · 10/11/2018 20:00

@GotThatWhatWhat ooooh now I wish I could see the original thread 😂

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:01

@GotThatWhatWhat, You are so wrong, The only thing I said that was wrong was "are you sure you want to know?" I was asking her, sometimes its best not to know the real answers, after that I told her the truth and answered every single question she asked,the best I could.
I had no clue he was married, Just so you know.

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dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:01

Honestly, the fact that you'd even consider taking back this utter cuntwaffle is a signal to you that you need to start working on your self-esteem. I had this happen to me and the only thing I was heartbroken about is that I didn't find out sooner to dump the lying shit.

GotThatWhatWhat · 10/11/2018 20:05

@AmIFalling I know - MN should have let it stand tbh, clearly he didn't pick her, so by deleting it she gets to re-write the narrative and cast herself as full on victim.

The only person who deserves a thread full of sympathy here is his wife and any kids if they are in the picture.

Tistheseason17 · 10/11/2018 20:08

Wow! He treated his wife and you like crap.

Why on earth would you went him back unless you want to "win" the game and this prize turd?

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 10/11/2018 20:09

Drama. Llama.

I had a degree of sympathy on your last thread, but now you’re just milking it while ever you can.

You’re not nearly as interesting as you think you are. Now behave yourself and stop messing about with other people’s (and their children’s) lives.

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:10

I mean, you'd seriously consider taking back this twat and being his bit on the side, knowing he's married (bet there are kids, too)? That's not love, that's co-dependency and you need to seriously spend more time examining yourself and what makes you think that would be acceptable in any way.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:13

@GetThatWhatWhat Have you ever been in a situation where you really really didnt know what to do or say. The wife was desperate for me to say nothing had happened, he was desperate for me to tell her nothing had happened, I needed to tell her but I didnt want to, I didnt want to be the one to break her heart, Seriously, What would you have done? Tell me what I did that was so bad? She asked me loads of times before I even answered with "do you really want to know", I thought that was the cowards way out and that she would read into that that something mustve went on and I wouldnt have to actually say the word "yes" How wrong I was

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Persiangirl · 10/11/2018 20:13

She does believe you but she is burying her head in the sand. It won’t work with them long term but for the moment concentrate on yourself. Keep busy, set yourself a goal to get over him in a month/2 months. Every day it will get easier. Xx

BlancheM · 10/11/2018 20:13

She believes you but has chosen to respond to you in the way which best preserves her dignity which is to dismiss you like you're just a trouble causer. She owes you nothing, after all. Even though this isn't your fault. She's hurting like you are and in a way which will be more long term. She's married to the bastard.
As absolutely gutting as this is for you, try to see this as a fresh start and be thankful not to tied to such a lowlife.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:15

I hope I wouldnt take him back, after all he is a lying cheating twat, but your heart makes you do crazy things

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SLL · 10/11/2018 20:15

He's a married man who cheated on his wife and kids and now he's been found out he is being a dick to you.

Why on earth are you heart broken? Every word he said to you was a lie to get into your bed, that was the reason he said them. You were in love with a lie. Now you know the truth, you should be thankful for the lucky escape. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and realise you now have your freedom back to find somebody who only wants YOU! There is absolutely, totally and utterly nothing to be heart broken for because he is not the man you thought you were in love with!

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:15

Seriously, What would you have done?

Oh, I had no qualms about telling his wife when I found out. It's a no brainer. 'Did he sleep with you?' 'Yes, he did,' and I gave her all the dates I can remember. Then I moved on, because I'm a grown up and this is how we do things on Planet Maturia.

dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:17

I hope I wouldnt take him back, after all he is a lying cheating twat, but your heart makes you do crazy things

No, it doesn't, not when you're an actual adult. Hmm In no other circumstances would you think it was okay to be someone's cheap side chick.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:19

@donttalkallatonce Good for you, Im glad you are a stronger person than me, I was thinking (selfishly) more about me being the one that broke her heart by telling her the truth. Nobody likes to tell anyone anything bad, sad or whatever.

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YourWinter · 10/11/2018 20:20

Hang on, you think you'd take him back if you talked?

Doubt that what he's hoping, but he's a liar and a cheat, keep walking in the other direction. He's had his fun, now he has to sort out which direction his marriage takes, but you don't need to be any more of an accessory to that than you've been already. You're not going to be heading to some happy future with him. If his marriage ends and you tried to start again with him, you'd never forget that he was unfaithful with you, and you'd never stop wondering if he's going to do it to you, leopards don't change their spots.

Never make someone your priority if they only make you an option.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:21

@SLL I know now it was all a lie, but its not that easy to just wake up and think...oh, it was all a lie, forgotten about him already. I actually wish I did find it that easy

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dontalltalkatonce · 10/11/2018 20:22

Oh, don't be so melodramatic! Life is not a Dido album. He stuck his dick in someone else, that's just the truth, don't be adolescent and assign all these over-dramatic emotions to answering someone's questions. It really sounds like you have no life and that's part of the problem.

ButchyRestingFace · 10/11/2018 20:22

I needed to tell her but I didnt want to, I didnt want to be the one to break her heart

You needed to stop shagging her husband, but I don't see why you needed to tell her.

Of course, I can't see your last thread. That may be more illuminating.

LadyFlumpalot · 10/11/2018 20:22

You said in the first thread that you blocked them both. How is it, in that case, that he has messaged you and then blocked you?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/11/2018 20:24

Sorry OP, I'm with Alfie, I read your thread and thought that you were playing games too and I thought you were being selfish really. Also - sorry - that you were enjoying some sort of role. You were determined to play it and as you say, it's backfired on you. That was to be expected really.

Leave them alone now - she doesn't deserve your future involvement in their marriage and she's married to a louse. You would be a louse also if you contacted him again so don't.

You did what you wanted to do. It's done. Focus on yourself now and repair. It won't always hurt this much.

Original poster
HelpmeNOW352879 · 10/11/2018 20:24

@ButchingRestingFace I havent seen him since Thursday when it was all out in the open, I knew nothing till then, she messaged me asking if anything had gone on between us and it went from there

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