WIBU to refuse to remove my nose piercing?

[ManonBlackbeak]

Just that really.

I work for an agency doing supply work in schools. Ive been doing this for about three years, and love it. I enjoy it and the flexiability it brings, that I can go on holiday in term time etc. I have regular schools that I go to and get excellent feedback, people ask for me and I'm pretty much always in work. Just for context, I think I'm good at my job.

The whole time Ive been with the agency I've had a small nose stud and no one has ever commented on it. In fact I forget it's there most of the time.

To get to the point I was asked yesterday about going for a potentially long term position at a school Ive never been to before, one of the few Ive never been to in the area. They asked to meet me first and I agreed, which in itself is unusual as usually you just turn up as and when you are needed. They liked me a lot apparently, and would like me take the placement but on the condition that I remove my nose ring. Now I was a bit taken a back at this, and so was my consultant actually. It's never happened before anywhere in three years! It's a tiny stud you can barely see! A ring I'd have understood. An eyebrow or lip ring certainly, but nose stud? Christ, Ive seen loads of teachers and TAs with them!

I'm not even alternative. Ive no visible tattoos, and dress fairly mundanely but this seemed horribly judgey to me. I don't know why? I feel like they've judged me on how I chose to dress and look I suppose.

WIBU to refuse to take it out?

Apologies, I thought from your posts that this is what you were essentially saying? Not sure if I have that wrong or you don't like being called on it?

God, it’s like wandering into the 1920s when women who wore lipstick were thought to be ‘fast’ or somesuch nonsense. Doubtless earrings ditto at some point.

And then people realise that appearance doesn’t affect your ability to do your job well.

Personally, I wouldn’t have thought the teaching profession was so well stocked that it could afford attitudes like this. Clearly far better to put off a suitable candidate because of a small nose piercing than have a good teacher in the classroom with a small nose piercing.

if one of the children waltzed in with a nose piercing they'd be sent home
Why should it be different for you
I cAnt stand the do as I say not as I do attitude

Because I'd be a teacher and I'm an adult. I have responsibilities that minors don't and with those responsibilities come certain privileges.

I would probably expect the students to refer to me as 'Miss', rather than 'Stevie'. I would expect to refer to them by their first names. They will probably come to school in uniform: I will choose my own (appropriate) attire. The guidelines are different: as they should be.

Surely, these things aren't hard to understand?

Personally I don’t see that a nose piercing is any different to an ear piercing. If the school rules state children can’t wear earrings then I would assume same would apply to nose rings (but that wouldn’t mean staff couldn’t wear earrings?). But if children are allowed small studs in their ears then what’s the issue with a small stud in their nose?

One of the secondaries we went to view had a teacher with multiple facial piercings. I would be more than happy for her to teach DD, she was very inspiring and DD was really interested in her classroom and what she had to say.

I wouldn't take my nose stud out for a job. I've had it for over 20 years and it's part of who I am.

Im a Primary school teacher. I have multiple piercings in my ears, one in my nose and a couple of visible arm tattoos. I've taught in the state and private sector and never had an issue. I think that if they want to change you, you're right, you won't gel.

Many schools realise that a small piece of metal or some ink don't affect your ability to do your job. I couldn't work for anyone who didn't understand that simple concept.

Many schools realise that a small piece of metal or some ink don't affect your ability to do your job. I couldn't work for anyone who didn't understand that simple concept.

Hoping that this is what I hear at my Train to Teach evening this week

I thought from your posts that this is what you were essentially saying?

Hopping - the posts where I said although I'd never had a doctor, lawyer or accountant with facial piercings I would of course not turn down their services because of that?

And even if I were the kind of person (which seem to be a very small minority going by this thread) who didn't want to be seen by a doctor with facial piercings, you've made a ridiculous leap in saying the alternative would be "second rate" with this sentence:

I didn’t realise the ‘done thing’ was to see someone who is second rate but (importantly) has no piercings, a conventional hair cut and wears a tie

You haven't "called" me on anything but, rather, had an OTT defensive response to me saying that we are not at a stage in Britain where facial piercings, green mohicans, tunnels, neck tattoos etc. are generally seen as "smart" and "professional".

And yet the mother of the bride at a royal wedding wore her nose stud. Which does make any suggestion that a nose stud is not smart slightly laughable.

@stevie69 - it's not about the ability for someone to do their job though is it- it's about not projecting personal choices onto very young and impressionable minds - same with politics, religion (well should be but the church get their way !), clothing choices, piercings and tattoos come under this umbrella for some schools

But I bet these schools couldn't articulate what the difference is between pierced ears (which I doubt any school stops its teachers from wearing) and a pierced nose or eyebrow or lip.

Every time I stand in front of a class, I'll be projecting some degree of personal choice. The debate here is what level is acceptable.

I'm quite happy to keep my political and religious views to myself: I'd have no reason or wish to share them in a school setting. But I wouldn't be prepared to remove my piercings. If a school won't take me, so be it: I have plenty of alternative options

RiverTam

And yet the mother of the bride at a royal wedding wore her nose stud. Which does make any suggestion that a nose stud is not smart slightly laughable.

Oh dear.

More important than a nose piercing, in a teaching role, is your spelling.

YABU the school have a policy, you don't like it get a job elsewhere.

I’m laughing at all those saying that a professional wouldn’t wear a nose stud. I’m a pharmacist and I have a lot of colleagues who wear them. Lots of Indian and Pakistani wear them for religious or cultural reasons.

But what if you having a tiny nose piercing rots the students' minds??
Ridiculous rule but it is their prerogative...

I'm guessing it is part of the dress code. Your nose ring probably looks lovely - but it would be impossible for the school to say yes to your nose ring and no to a teacher or a student who wanted to have a ring like a bull. Since my children started school - I have been gobsmacked at the double standards in dress codes for teachers compared to children. My 7 year old daughter had to wear a tie that she needed to tie herself, white shirt, school jumper, closed shoes, no nail polish, hair-up and neat, zero jewellery - all this while climbing monkey bars during lunchtime. And in contrast, her teachers were wearing fish net stockings to show off their heavily tattooed legs, strappy tops, Uggs boots near their use by date. One TA would stick her tongue out complete with tongue ring to entertain the children. I have no problem with all that outside of school - but if the children have to dress a certain way then as their role models an ideal situation would be for the teachers should follow suit. Or let everyone dress as they want.

Since my children started school - I have been gobsmacked at the double standards in dress codes for teachers compared to children

Really? You found it a shock that staff didn’t have to abide by rules for 4 - 11 year olds...?

Stevie, please don't take any of notice of the judgemental twats on this thread (thankfully in the minority). I'm sure you'd make a fantastic teacher, and like Ive said in three years this is the first time a comment has been made about my nose stud. Most people really don't care as long as you are clean, tidy and have a good attitude.

Before half term for example, I worked at lovely school where the head was a bit of a hippy, the teachers were very smart casual and most of them worse vans and converse instead of shoes. It had a lovely vibe. Likewise Ive seen headteachers with multiple ear piercings and nose studs, a teaching assistant with bright green hair and another male teacher with sleeve tattoos who the kids absolutely worshipped. Most people these days don't give a shit as long as you can do the job.

My nose stud isn't projecting anything onto young, impressionable children.

I really can't imagine that Johnny from 1995 rushed out to get his nose pierced as soon as he was 18, because Prof Moody had one when he was in her class 10 years ago.

As most have said. Depends on how much you want the job, and whether the job matters more than your piercing. They have rules, and have made a request. You have the choice to follow that request or not. Neither side is unreasonable.

Isla can to expand on that?

*care

moms husband is a doctor .wears traditional shortsleeved scrubs.has beautiful dragons encircling both arms, wrist to shoulder.doesn't effect his work at all.also has 3 rings in his ear.has had these since the 70s.
i worked in retail fabrics stores for years.have visible tattoos on both wrists and arms.a nose stud and 7 earrings.when i laid out the fabric to measure and cut my customers of all ages saw them.
answered many questions about them but never a negative reaction.and that was 30 yrs ago!!!
for myself i would consider it censorship of my freedom of expression.unless it was a job where the jewelry would put you in danger.machinery,babies curious hands
or the parrot who wanted to keep my earrings

I got my nose pierced about three months ago. No one in my small team of professionals has yet commented on it. It is not against our dress regulations as it that would be seen as discrimatory, particularly as the other person in my team with a nose piercing is Indian. My senior has far more ear piercings than I do, and have three in each lobe and a helix.