WIBU to refuse to remove my nose piercing?

[ManonBlackbeak]

Just that really.

I work for an agency doing supply work in schools. Ive been doing this for about three years, and love it. I enjoy it and the flexiability it brings, that I can go on holiday in term time etc. I have regular schools that I go to and get excellent feedback, people ask for me and I'm pretty much always in work. Just for context, I think I'm good at my job.

The whole time Ive been with the agency I've had a small nose stud and no one has ever commented on it. In fact I forget it's there most of the time.

To get to the point I was asked yesterday about going for a potentially long term position at a school Ive never been to before, one of the few Ive never been to in the area. They asked to meet me first and I agreed, which in itself is unusual as usually you just turn up as and when you are needed. They liked me a lot apparently, and would like me take the placement but on the condition that I remove my nose ring. Now I was a bit taken a back at this, and so was my consultant actually. It's never happened before anywhere in three years! It's a tiny stud you can barely see! A ring I'd have understood. An eyebrow or lip ring certainly, but nose stud? Christ, Ive seen loads of teachers and TAs with them!

I'm not even alternative. Ive no visible tattoos, and dress fairly mundanely but this seemed horribly judgey to me. I don't know why? I feel like they've judged me on how I chose to dress and look I suppose.

WIBU to refuse to take it out?

I don't really see the issue with taking it off. Its just a piece of metal.

If you want a professional position, you have to dress and behave accordingly. They are not going to make an exception for you and your nose ring.
🙄

I think they are repulsive.

If you want a professional position, you have to dress and behave accordingly

Indeed. Fortunately tattoos and piercings aren’t a measure of how one behaves professionally.

Don't take the job. It is really clear that you would not be compatible to work in the environment they have established there.

They must have a dress code. I think it's reasonable too, as a teacher youre seen as an authority type role, and a figure Head if you like within the classroom. Children should look up to teachers. In these types of role some parents or schools may feel its best to be more conservative and a bit of a blank canvas rather than normalising certain looks

flumpybear

They must have a dress code. I think it's reasonable too, as a teacher youre seen as an authority type role, and a figure Head if you like within the classroom. Children should look up to teachers. In these types of role some parents or schools may feel its best to be more conservative and a bit of a blank canvas rather than normalising certain looks

I totally agree.

Ask to see their staff handbook. That will tell you if there are other things you would find difficult to live with. If you still want the job, you could tell them you wear it for cultural or religious reasons. They may not have thought this through very well. We had a teacher who was made to cover up her small nosestud with a plaster. The school then employed a Hindu TA in the same department who wore a nosestud for cultural reasons. SLT realised it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask her to cover it or remove it and the policy was dropped For everyone as it was unenforceable.

You are entitled to refuse but equally they are entitled not to employ you if you do so.
They have a dress code, you might not agree with parts of it but as long as it's not in breach of equality legislation i.e. women cant wear trousers or have to wear high heels or religious dress banned, then they can have what ever rules they like.
I personally don't think there is anything wrong with a nose stud but its not my school.

Quite frankly SilentIsla I don't give a toss whether or not you think they are repulsive. Thankfully most people these days aren't such judgey twats. What other people chose to do their bodies is none of you're business.

Dd is 18 and recently went for an interview. They offered her the job but on the condition that she removed her nose ring for work. She wanted the job so removes it while there and puts it back in when she finishes.
Not hard is it?

It wouldn't close up if you left it out all day. When i had a nose stud you could leave it out for weeks at a time and it wouldn't close up. It took about 6 months to close when I eventually stopped wearing one. If you're really worried it might you can get a hidden plastic post.

I think if it were a permenant position, employed by the school directly they'd be more entitled to ask me to take it out.

Nope. They need to apply their dress code to all employees equally or they are acting unlawfully.

It's incrediably stuffy, judgemental and old fashioned.

I don't care about this stuff either, but if you don't understand why schools do then you are being blind to some important aspects of teaching.

They want all staff singing from the same hymn sheet. Non verbal signals like dress and decor send important signals about a school and affect attitude to learning.

I think I will just turn down the placement as I don't think we'd really gel.

I think this is a smart plan. Most people would not have big issue with this but clearly it's very important to you.

I would turn it down OP.

I have never seen a doctor, dentist, lawyer or, accountant with one < this really is hilarious.

Honestly, so many posterson this thread sound like they're writing for Woman's Own circa 1971.

Thankfully most people these days aren't such judgey twats.

I'm assuming this is your first time on MN :-) Most of the threads are people gossiping and passing judgement.

SilentIsla can express any preference she wishes, as you can have a different one. If you can't cope with such a mundane comment without abusing someone, I wonder how you manage in the classroom? Children can be much crueler than that.

Neither have I ever seen a doctor, dentist, lawyer or accountant with a piercing. Assuming someone was to get through the rigorous selection process for such positions, the patients or clients, respectively, would not accept it.

In fact, the very idea of them sporting a ridiculous piercing is laughable.

Conversations with children tend to go like this:-

“Have you got an earring in your tongue”
“Yes”
“Why”
“Because I like the way it looks”

I’m yet to find it difficult to get the children to do what I want them because of my piercings and I have dealings with children from 4 right up to 16 or so.

Neither have I ever seen a doctor, dentist, lawyer or accountant with a piercing. Assuming someone was to get through the rigorous selection process for such positions, the patients or clients, respectively, would not accept it.

Ok, now you are just on a wind up.

Neither have I ever seen a doctor, dentist, lawyer or accountant with a piercing. Assuming someone was to get through the rigorous selection process for such positions, the patients or clients, respectively, would not accept it

Ah because you’ve never seen it, it doesn’t happen.

We’ve had this conversation before. I was a lawyer. Stevie up thread is an accountant.

It’s a terribly uneducated view to assume because you’ve not seen it, it doesn’t happen.

Unless the consultant who sorted out my broken ankle last year was a mirage....

I rather think the OP does not have the required temperament for any sort of teaching, anyway. 🤣

Wow. Just wow.

What other people chose to do their bodies is none of you're business

choose
your

Teaching, you said? Hmmm

Stevie - there seems to be a shortage of good accountancy tutors. Especially with the role out of AAT based apprenticeships. Presume FE has less rules than schools.

We’re a jeans and trainers office. No piercings, some tattoos but there’d be no issue. School rules wind me up, they are not realistic and preparing kids for the real, modern world. Uniform makes life easier but our school specifies the colour of coats and hair bobbles! The hair bobbles are not black or brown by the way.

I’m sure you’ll find other work soon so turn it down, or give them the option to back down first. Maybe they’ll realise what’s actually important.

I think they are repulsive.

Thanks for your valuable contribution to the debate.