WIBU to refuse to remove my nose piercing?

[ManonBlackbeak]

Just that really.

I work for an agency doing supply work in schools. Ive been doing this for about three years, and love it. I enjoy it and the flexiability it brings, that I can go on holiday in term time etc. I have regular schools that I go to and get excellent feedback, people ask for me and I'm pretty much always in work. Just for context, I think I'm good at my job.

The whole time Ive been with the agency I've had a small nose stud and no one has ever commented on it. In fact I forget it's there most of the time.

To get to the point I was asked yesterday about going for a potentially long term position at a school Ive never been to before, one of the few Ive never been to in the area. They asked to meet me first and I agreed, which in itself is unusual as usually you just turn up as and when you are needed. They liked me a lot apparently, and would like me take the placement but on the condition that I remove my nose ring. Now I was a bit taken a back at this, and so was my consultant actually. It's never happened before anywhere in three years! It's a tiny stud you can barely see! A ring I'd have understood. An eyebrow or lip ring certainly, but nose stud? Christ, Ive seen loads of teachers and TAs with them!

I'm not even alternative. Ive no visible tattoos, and dress fairly mundanely but this seemed horribly judgey to me. I don't know why? I feel like they've judged me on how I chose to dress and look I suppose.

WIBU to refuse to take it out?

Oh for goodness sake - you have nose piercing. Big deal. The fact is some employers will have a dress code that bans them. Maybe you should retrain as an accountant - at any rate if you don't want to take it out find a job where you are allowed to wear it.

I have a nose piercing (tiny silver stud most the time).
I would refuse to remove it as well; well, I would decline the job & tell them that this issue was a sign you didn't feel you could fit in right now. Note that it hadn't been an issue in other placements.

Try to leave communications on a pleasant tone, at least.

Pupils always have to follow all sorts of dress code rules that the staff don't, so I don't see why pupil dress codes (whether they are allowed such piercings) is considered relevant by other posters.

Ok, now you are just on a wind up.

What an immature thing to say. Clearly, I have different standards and expectations of professional people. Why on earth should the OP expect all posters to say what she wants to hear?

I just wanted some idea of whether or not I'd be unreasonable to refuse.

Yes you would be unreasonable to refuse to remove your nose stud, and still expect to get the job

Not at all unreasonable to say that you'd rather not take the job because of this ruling

Honestly YeOldTrout it's so tiny I'm amazed they even noticed it! I forget I even have sometimes, it's just there.

I don't think you would be unreasonable to refuse this placement. That's not just the nose stud in of itself, but what it represents to you. From what you have said they have a very conservative dress code and that doesn't gel with who you are.

So I'd refuse on that basis. If it were only the nose stud I'd say just take it out just before you went in, it's highly unlikely to close up in that time (based on having had loads of facial piercings in my time). But it seems to be about more than that. You're not a good fit for them so if you have other work coming in and are happy with what you get then stick with that!

I also forgot to say Thank You to all the other posters who've contributed, both positive and negative, without resorting to rudeness and abuse. I have taken your remarks on boards, honestly.

I think it's ridiculous - it doesn't affect your ability to do your job at all, so why should it be an issue?

I think this is a sign that working there could be a complete nightmare to be honest with you.

If you don't take the job, I'd definitely explain to them that it was due to being asked to remove the nose piercing. They need to understand how ridiculous demands have consequences in the real world.

I've seen doctors with nose piercings. Actually, I'd feel MORE comfortable going to someone like that, because rightly or wrongly, I'd feel that they may be more likely to be less judgemental.

Personally if I liked everything else about the job I would've taken it out myself, but that's because I don't like jewellery and to me it would be similar to a ring etc. I don't know much about piercings at all. However, I wouldn't be comfortable with the notion of someone trying to dictate that.

I worked at one school where there was no uniform but otherwise, it would've been frowned upon in all my other schools. Just don't work there, easy.

Neither have I ever seen a doctor, dentist, lawyer or accountant with a piercing. Assuming someone was to get through the rigorous selection process for such positions, the patients or clients, respectively, would not accept it.

I guess you don’t spend much time in hospitals? Lots of the junior Dr’s have piercings, tattoos and ‘modern’ hairstyles. Yet, they are all competent, imagine that!

I know your type. When I was young there were lots of people like you who didn’t want to be treated by female Dr’s. They wanted the ‘real Dr’s’, which meant a male Dr. Imagine where we would be today if we only went with what the patients ‘accepted’ back then. You are no different with the crap you are sprouting now.

Watch 24 hrs in A&E. I think nose piercings can be issue for health care staff due to hygiene risks, but tats are everywhere on many of the staff & sometimes extra ear piercings. imho, when you feel awful, you only want the staff to be kind & competent. How they decorate their bodies is irrelevant.

I genuinely wonder about people who have allegedly “never” seen a professional with a piercing/tattoo.

I mean, would you be refused to be treated by a doctor? Request another conveyancer? Ask for a different tax adviser?

*advisor

Just in case there’s the usual segue of ignoring the point and picking up on spelling, I’ve now covered both accepted versions of the word

I work with a team with accountants.

Most of them look like the stereotype, dead conservative. Except the senior accountant. She is a rock chick type. Tattoos on her hands, wears,all black (but Rock black, not business black) and a pierced nose.

Im also a bit unconventional in appearance and I did ask at interview for my current job if I would need to tone it down a bit. The answer was no. We would be employing you for your knowledge and experience. Not appearance.

• Team of

I agree that you should refuse on principal too. Some collegues of mine had the same argument (nurses in the nhs) where one particular manger took a dislike to nose piercings they managed to keep their nose piercings in the end as it wasn’t against the trust policy.
There’s a teacher at my sons school with multicoloured hair, tattoos and multiple piercings there’s no issue with this and amazingly her teaching skills are completely uneffected
Where do the people live that have never seen a professional with piercings? Madeupmagicland?

I genuinely wonder about people who have allegedly “never” seen a professional with a piercing/tattoo

I mean, would you be refused to be treated by a doctor? Request another conveyancer? Ask for a different tax adviser?

I live in London with frequent work/living abroad in various cities where I have had doctors, lawyers, accountants, dentists and I honestly cannot recall one of them having a visible tatoo or any piercing beyond standard earrings. Of course that doesn't mean I would refuse their services simply because of that. It doesn't mean I'm making it up though.

I watched an episode of the Apprentice the other day, though, and was suprised that one of the women with (to me, I'm sure lots of other people think she looks lovely) horrible eyebrow piercings was a solicitor and I did find it momentarily surprising - like I say, just never had that experience.

I work in a"professional" role. In an office with lots of other "professionals" there are plenty of tattoos and piercings. I have quite a few myself.
It's really weird though, nobody mentions them unless I'm normal conversation about where/when they were done.
However we are all able to do our jobs just fine! It's almost as if it doesn't impact our ability to work at all!
I personally wouldn't take the job, I wouldn't feel like I was welcome.

I do have a friend who is a very high-flying lawyer with a full sleeve tattoo she got as a teenager which she deeply regrets - she always wears long sleeves, summer and winter, and black tie evening events.

I mean, would you be refused to be treated by a doctor?

Some people do. As I said back in my day as a junior (30 years ago) people would refuse to be treated by females. I remember many cases where people would refuse to be treated by ‘blacks’. There have always been arseholes who refuse to be treated by a perfectly competent person and the modern version pertains to piercings and tattoos etc.

There’s an easy way this is dealt with. If the person is not about to go toes up (in which case they are rarely in a position to be an arsehole and make demands) and they carry on, that’s fine they can have someone else BUT they have to wait for someone who fits their criteria. Funnily all of those people will be busy for a very long time and your wait will long, really long. Then when someone gets to you they do so knowing what a complete arsehole you are so while your treatment will be professional there won’t be much empathy handed out.

I have a friend who’s been teaching in primary schools for over 10 years and had worn a tiny nose stud that whole time. Funnily enough it doesn’t impact on her ability to teach.

You don’t say if you’re Asian or not, but it’s pretty standard in some communities for women to have a nose stud.

I think what people are missing is the perception of having a nose piercing and refusing to remove it. If a school has a strict dress code and want the staff to be a good example to the students then it is not unreasonable for them to ask the staff not to have any facial piercings. By refusing to remove it, in the eyes of the school, you are being bolshy and rebellious, and they would feel that you weren’t a good fit because you don’t share their ethos.

At DD's school a few years ago there was a bit of a hooha on social media because a member of staff who was wearing nail polish told a student that she couldn't wear nail polish to school. It escalated on Facebook, the posts were taken down and the gil in question was put in isolation for a few days. Her argument was if the teachers can do then so can I.

Although I don’t find any form of facial piercing attractive I couldn’t care less whether anyone I worked with had them, as long as they were competent and easy to get along with. I also wouldn’t think that anyone with a piercing is less professional than one without.

It could be a safety thing working with primary age children: they are grabby and physical.