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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not wear sexy pyjamas to bed every night

148 replies

hellhavenofury · 09/11/2018 14:36

AIBU to not want to wear sexy pyjamas to bed every night?

A little bit of a backstory - I was having dinner at in laws last night and the topic over dinner got to what you wear for bed. (I know very random)

My DP said that I have the worst taste in pjs and that 'most women' wear sexy pjs in bed. Not for a sexual reason just that they do. I totally disagreed with this and said that little outfits (playdoll outfits etc) are for sexy times and not to sleep in. I am guessing he would prefer this and like it. Then MIL backed DP up and said that she has always worn nice pjs and sexy outfits to bed.

I shut the conversation up after I figured I wouldn't get anywhere and wanted to be mindful who I was speaking to.

AIBU to want to wear comfy pyjamas to sleep in or should I be more inclined to get the playdoll outfits out?

OP posts:

romany4 · 09/11/2018 15:42

I wear a nightshirt. Always have.Always will.
I like my undercarriage to be free. DH has never complained

agirlhasnonameX · 09/11/2018 15:42

Your MIL and DH would be disgusted if they seen the state of the mismatched, hole ridden, oversized, unflattering numbers I wear to bed 😂
Surely sleep clothes are meant to be comfy? What does he wear!?

1tisILeClerc · 09/11/2018 15:42

It's thick fleecy jacket and steel toecap workboots for me at bedtime if it's cold!

theworldistoosmall · 09/11/2018 15:43

This type of conversation is why my dc's and myself are nc with my mum. It's the type of thing she would talk about regardless of who was there.

Back to op. I haven't owned any sexy night stuff since I was a teen and was bought by fucked up mum. Depends what I feel like - sometimes I wear boxers and a vest top. Sometimes I wear blokes pj bottoms and a random top. Sometimes nothing but a pair of socks.

lazyarse123 · 09/11/2018 15:46

Comfort all the way. My husband once asked if i wore pjs as a message telling him to leave me alone 😊 i explained that they're comfy and all he has to do is ask.

HollowTalk · 09/11/2018 15:46

Ugh, I just can't imagine that conversation with his mother and father there. I'm shuddering at the thought of it.

Dychmygol · 09/11/2018 15:47

I wouldn't be able to resist asking why he wants you dressed like his mum for bedtime!

And how does he know that 'most' women do this...how many women is he sleeping with regularly to know this detail?

PJs are for sleeping. Sexy clothes and for tearing off and being thrown on bedroom floorif you're so inclined your husband is being a bit of a prat...and honestly a little creepy.

GladAllOver · 09/11/2018 15:47

I don't own pj's, sexy or otherwise. Our duvet is quite warm enough without either of us having to wear clothes in bed.

NatureIs · 09/11/2018 15:48

Tell him you want him to wear one of those gross mankinis to bed every night and see how he gets on. You could even chuck in that that's what your Dad wears and it's really sexy

cheesefield · 09/11/2018 15:55

He'd love my fleecy tartan men's oversized unintentionally crotchless pyjamas.

OracleofDelphi · 09/11/2018 15:56

Im just shocked so many people wear clothes in bed!!! I dont wear anything unless its freezing cold, so for at least 350 days of the year I dont wear anything...... Do people really wear all this in bed and not get hot?

TattyCat · 09/11/2018 15:57

I couldn't wear the amount of stuff some posters on here do!! Each to their own, of course, but I prefer a bit of freedom in bed so only wear a silky/satiny camisole type 'nightie', length down to my mid-thigh and obviously straps so sleeveless. I can't bear being wrapped up in anything except my super soft fluffy duvet!!

NicoleRD · 09/11/2018 15:59

Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to wear sexy PJ's all the time. YANBU. Wear what you're comfortable in!

CSIblonde · 09/11/2018 16:00

Is your DP meaning a baggy t shirt & pj bottoms combo or full flannelette matching pj top/bottoms? (way too warm for me). Would you be comfy in a pretty cami top & pj bottoms as a compromise? Pretty T shirt nightie or shorts & cotton camisole top is my usual wear,with silk slip nighties for sexy occasions. I think going off male friends comments & men who I've dated, they are v 'visual' & pretty lingerie/nightwear, (nothing tacky, just feminine) is never a bad idea & much appreciated.

Picklypickles · 09/11/2018 16:04

I just wear a big t-shirt and pants. My partner has never complained, I'm sure I could go to bed wearing a hessian sack and he'd still be in the mood!

TeamDixon · 09/11/2018 16:06

I actually think stores are missing a trick here because it would be good to have something in the middle! Jersey with some lace or something that looked reasonably attractive but were still comfy to sleep in!
I've been trying to find something like that for years!

dontalltalkatonce · 09/11/2018 16:08

Do people really wear all this in bed and not get hot?

Obviously they do wear 'all this' in bed and it works for them.

selepele · 09/11/2018 16:09

no most women dont

Ladywillpower · 09/11/2018 16:13

Flannelette nightie for me & paisley pyjamas for DH & certainly no discussions with the ILs 😞

Seniorschoolmum · 09/11/2018 16:16

Cotton shorts and a vest top. Definitely no sexy stuff. God, life’s too short.

JanetLovesJason · 09/11/2018 16:17

YANBU. There’s no such thing as sexy pyjamas. Pyjamas are a snuggly thing.

There are cute pyjamas. Some very sexy people can maintain their sexiness when wearing half a set of pyjamas. Generally speaking, bottom on men and tops on women.

But pyjamas never add to sexiness.

Original poster

hellhavenofury · 09/11/2018 16:22

I have always had a fear of something happening in the night and me having to jump up and get the baseball bat out on an intruder and I would feel so uncomfortable doing so naked and I might not have time to find clothes!!

I live in a really nice area but you never know. Strange but honest reason!!

OP posts:

anniehm · 09/11/2018 16:26

Wear what you like to bed, or nothing at all - thankfully most in the U.K. live in circumstances we don't need to consider warmth in our nightclothes so it comes down to personal taste. I can't personally imagine any pj's being sexy whatever they are made of, maybe because I hate elastic around my waist at night. As I say, personal preference just not something I would discuss with my mil!

Seniorschoolmum · 09/11/2018 16:29

hellhavenofury

1ndig0 · 09/11/2018 16:34

I’m surprised that so many people actually wear pyjamas to sleep in. Aren’t they really hot and easy to get tangled up in. Especially long trousers in bed! Come to think of it, I’ve never owned a pair of pyjamas and DH doesn’t wear them in bed either. The only time I would go out and buy pyjamas is if I was going for a weekend away with other people and you needed pyjamas to eat brunch in or something like that. Surely most people wear nothing in bed? I have a few silk wraps of different lengths I put on in the morning and I rotate these. If it’s really cold I have a warmer dressing gown.

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