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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tripped and fell at friend's wedding - completely mortified

106 replies

10greenbottlez · 08/11/2018 15:15

A close friend of mine got married in August with a lovely ceremony followed by a reception in a large marquee. There were about 120 guests sat at about 12 tables and I'd say I knew about 30 people there.

Her dad gave a speech during the reception meal and everyone was asked to stand to raise a toast. The floor was quite uneven and as I stood up, I caught my heel on something and fell over backwards.

Unfortunately my table was at the front of the room in full vision of all the other guests and the wedding party. Everyone turned and looked at me momentarily, at which point DH immediately grabbed me and pulled me back up. The bride's father's speech was still going on.

It was all over in a split second, but I was absolutely mortified and left the wedding a few hours early because of it (giving an excuse that I felt unwell).

I've spoken to the friend several times since and she was absolutely fine about me leaving early and concerned about me being unwell etc, but neither of us mentioned the embarrassing fall.

Ever since the wedding I've felt like a complete idiot because of what happened, and am just so embarrassed about it. I've even distanced myself from my friend as I feel she wouldn't want to be buddies with someone who made such a tit of themselves like that.

DH thinks I'm completely overreacting and has asked me to stop going on about it, but I can't stop worrying about it and the effect it could have on our friendship. AIBU?

OP posts:

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 08/11/2018 15:17

In the nicest way, yes you are.

It was in August. You didn't do it on purpose. You've talked since. It's four months later - forget about it; everyone else has. It'll be one of those things that someone brings up every now and again for a laugh and doesn't remember otherwise.

Forgive yourself and let it go.

Strawberry2017 · 08/11/2018 15:17

Accidents happen, don't throw a good friendship away over one.
She knows you didn't do it on purpose.
Time to forget it and move on. X

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 08/11/2018 15:19

I'm sorry op but she probably thinks it's funny, all falls are funny after finding out the person isn't injured. I really wouldn't worry about it anymore!

Andtheresaw · 08/11/2018 15:20

Oh Bless you! I completely understand about being mortified at the time but honestly, everyone else will have looked at you when you fell and then, when it was obvious that you weren't injured, just carried on listening to the speeches.
If everyone who ever fell over avoided their friends from that point n then no-one would keep any friends! You need to let it go. x

Original poster

10greenbottlez · 08/11/2018 15:21

Nobody laughed at the wedding - they all just looked at me momentarily then switched their attention back to the speech. I was so embarrassed at having to sit through the rest of the meal with the people on my table though.

I'm just so so embarrassed at what an idiot I am.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 08/11/2018 15:22

You really are TOTALLY overreacting. I assure you the only person who even thinks about your fall is you. People trip/fall down all the time and it is very quickly forgotten. Stop wasting so much mental energy ruminating about this tiny little incident. It is beyond ancient history.

TheCraicDealer · 08/11/2018 15:22

At my wedding during the speeches my (very drunk) aunt was heckling and can be heard faintly in the video. Her DP died a few months later and when we went to see her afterwards it was all she could do to apologise, she was mortified. I hadn't given it a moment's thought aside from thinking it was quite funny when I was watching the wedding video.

At my DFriend's wedding she made a nice slideshow of selfies of her and her DH set to music, and halfway through the CD started skipping. These things happen.

So basically, I wouldn't worry about it. It was embarrassing but it will make a good story once you realise no-one remembers it the same way you do.

ILoveAutum · 08/11/2018 15:24

You are massively over thinking this. Yes, it’s embarrassing at the time, but it’s not like you were hammered, making an arse of yourself, messing about, fell and landed on the cake. The more you make a Big Deal of this, the Bigger and Bigger it gets. She’s probably worried she’s upset you somehow as you’re now keeping your distance.

ZackPizzazz · 08/11/2018 15:24

Honestly, nobody cares. They never did. People trip and fall. It happens all the time and says nothing about them. I tripped on my train and fell down at my OWN wedding. I laughed and got back up.

The worrying thing is that you are still obsessing over this to the point of destroying a friendship. That isn't healthy. Do you have issues with anxiety?

NonaGrey · 08/11/2018 15:24

I've even distanced myself from my friend as I feel she wouldn't want to be buddies with someone who made such a tit of themselves like that.

Are you generally anxious OP? This is a pretty steep over reaction.

I have low blood pressure and as a result call over from time to time if I don’t stand up carefully. It’s a bit embarrassing yes, but I just pick myself up and get in with my day.

I bet no one else gave your fall a second thought five minutes after the event.

I think you are doing your friend a disservice to make this (in your mind) the biggest thing that happened at her wedding. To stop talking to her because of it is outrageous!

She hasn’t mentioned it because it wasn’t important to her and she probably hasn’t thought of it since it happened.

mycatplotsdeath · 08/11/2018 15:24

Back in the day, I took a Polaroid camera to my friends wedding, thinking I would do impromptu shots, so she could have a look the next day.

Anyhow. I dropped said camera in the church and when I bent down to pick it up , I accidentally kicked it and it smashed at the front of the church, whilst the bows were taking place.

To cut a long story short. I was completely mortified.
It was a awful moment.
But we are over it now and have a good laugh about it.

Girlfrommars77 · 08/11/2018 15:25

Sorry OP, but it’s quite odd that you’re so hung up on a small accident that happened 2/3 months ago. Your friend probably didn’t think twice about it and is wondering why you’re distancing yourself from her. You really need to take your husband’s advice, let this go, and perhaps see your GP for advice about anxiety.

HoraceWimple · 08/11/2018 15:25

Were you very drunk and that’s why you feel embarrassed?
If not then I think you are over thinking it a touch! I find a good tactic to avoid feeling embarrassed about clumsiness is to laugh at myself.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 08/11/2018 15:27

I mean this in the kindest way op but is it often that you overthink like this. Yes falling is a little embarrassing but leaving early, avoiding people and thinking they won’t want to be your friend etc is completely overreacting. Absolutely no-one else will be giving it a second thought.
It is your thinking pattern that is the problem here - not you falling over which is something everyone will do from time to time.

Original poster

10greenbottlez · 08/11/2018 15:27

Thank you for the reassuring words everyone. I was a bit tipsy at the time I'll admit, but no more than most of the other guests.

Zack - yes I'd definitely describe myself as an anxious person.

OP posts:

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 08/11/2018 15:27

I can understand why you feel embarrassed it’s a natural reaction, all of us would feel like that and most of us have at some point in our lives, I know I have! It really does happen to the best of us, imagine how Madonna felt at the Brits in front of millions on live tv! and her fall would have hurt and not just her pride either! But she fronted it out and carried on. You really should not be embarrassed it was a split second it time that everyone will have forgotten about instantly, no one will even think of it or remember it,so put it behind you and forget it, it’s a really insignificant event in the grand scheme of things.

Celebelly · 08/11/2018 15:27

She probably hasn't mentioned the fall as it hasn't even occurred to her and she's forgotten about it (or never even really noticed in the first place). I think it's a real shame you left the wedding early for something like that :( It seems so unnecessary. Everyone trips and falls! I was sitting in a long queue in the airport recently on my suitcase when the wheels went out from under me and I fell dramatically backwards, cue the whole queue peering at me I just laughed it off!

Might I gently suggest there's maybe a bit more going on here if this has affected you so much?

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 08/11/2018 15:29

Seriously, no big deal! These things happen to the best of us! Time to forget about it....

BumsexAtTheBingo · 08/11/2018 15:29

Just to add I stepped on my strapless maxi dress and flashed my bare breasts at a group of men at a party once if you want to hear about embarrassing! I didn’t leave though and life went on. Embarrassment is a normal emotion but letting it affect you so long after is a problem.

Celebelly · 08/11/2018 15:29

Also I think it's a shame if you've distanced yourself from your friend when she has no idea why - she might think she's done something wrong, and that's not really fair. Just get back to your normal relationship with her!

ZackPizzazz · 08/11/2018 15:29

Zack - yes I'd definitely describe myself as an anxious person

If your anxiety is at the stage where you're spending months obsessing over tripping and cutting yourself off from friends because of it... It might be time to get some help, if you haven't before. Are you anxious about other things? Have you ever seen a doctor about it?

HotChocolateWeather · 08/11/2018 15:29

You are majorly overreacting.

If this is making you distance yourself from a friend I'd suggest looking into help for anxiety. I'm a very anxious person and even Id not react so strongly.

Most people will have forgotten almost as soon as it was over. It's natural to turn and look at a noise. They will have seen it was someone falling who got up and is fine and thought no more about it.

Your friend is probably wondering what she's done to upset you. Don't like a tiny fall which to happen to anyone take over your life. It's not normal.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 08/11/2018 15:31

My mother in law fell into a bush outside the church at her daughters wedding and no one ever mentions it.

Don't even worry about it

HotChocolateWeather · 08/11/2018 15:32

Falling is normal. Obsessing over it and feeing you you need to cut yourself off from people who saw you fall isn't. You didn't ruin anything. You accidentally tripped then got up. It's no big deal. Please get help if needed to ensure you find a way to make peace with it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/11/2018 15:32

We're I'm from everyone the person included would have PTSL. That's as well as running to you and making a fuss and checking you were okay, of course. There's no malice its just our humor

I hate this saying and I only ever say it when I really mean it, but In the nicest and respectfulest way 'Get it Grip'

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