Tripped and fell at friend's wedding - completely mortified

[10greenbottlez]

A close friend of mine got married in August with a lovely ceremony followed by a reception in a large marquee. There were about 120 guests sat at about 12 tables and I'd say I knew about 30 people there.

Her dad gave a speech during the reception meal and everyone was asked to stand to raise a toast. The floor was quite uneven and as I stood up, I caught my heel on something and fell over backwards.

Unfortunately my table was at the front of the room in full vision of all the other guests and the wedding party. Everyone turned and looked at me momentarily, at which point DH immediately grabbed me and pulled me back up. The bride's father's speech was still going on.

It was all over in a split second, but I was absolutely mortified and left the wedding a few hours early because of it (giving an excuse that I felt unwell).

I've spoken to the friend several times since and she was absolutely fine about me leaving early and concerned about me being unwell etc, but neither of us mentioned the embarrassing fall.

Ever since the wedding I've felt like a complete idiot because of what happened, and am just so embarrassed about it. I've even distanced myself from my friend as I feel she wouldn't want to be buddies with someone who made such a tit of themselves like that.

DH thinks I'm completely overreacting and has asked me to stop going on about it, but I can't stop worrying about it and the effect it could have on our friendship. AIBU?

I worked as a waitress at a wedding twice. The first time I dropped a tray of drinks all over a guest.

Now, that was embarrassing!

I shouldn't think anyone remembers, don't worry :)

I faceplanted on the dance floor, stone cold sober, at my own wedding - someone stood on my dress and took me out during a particular ferocious Orcadian Strip The Willow (Highland ceilidh dancing can sometimes be more of a full contact sport!). In all the conversations I had about the wedding over the following six months, no one ever mentioned it before I did and then the response was always, 'Oh yes, I'd forgotten that.'

I do understand you feeling this way. I cut all contact with a former close friend that ld spent years trying to track down after we'd both moved far away from each other. I managed to find her on Facebook and was in constant touch with her and her family and was planning to meet them all again at some point soon.
Then one day she posted a pic on fb and l commented how ld not seen him for ages (her dfil) and what a lovely man he always was to us.
Problem was it wasn't her Dfil (his son, her first dh died young sadly) It was her new DH and he was about same age as her. Her message correcting me wasn't rude or anything just a factual 'No that's my dh'. I blocked them all and have never been in touch since, l was just so mortified. It was just a bad photo of him and he did look like an old man on it.

Definitely don't feel embarrassed any more. At our wedding, I managed to slip during the dancing on my dress and fell over, then DH's parents took a tumble after one tripped and the other tripped over them. As they're elderly it took a little time to make sure they were okay (thank goodness for medical professionals as guests!) and people were just standing around for about ten minutes. Eventually the party started again but it has become part of our wedding "story" and the day was still perfect in my view.

Your friend probably hasn't mentioned it since because it was such a tiny, tiny part of the day they wouldn't imagine you are still worried about it.

I still talk to my in-laws and don't hold a grudge even though it was 10-15 minutes of tense silence in the middle of the dancing!

Oh my goodness, please stop beating yourself up over an (admittedly really embarrassing) incident that everyone else has forgotten, I promise you!

I suffer from anxiety myself and frequently find myself lying in bed at night re-living all the most embarrassing and shameful moments of my life - unfortunately that seems to come with the territory. But your thought processes are way beyond normal, or even normal for someone with anxiety.

If you find yourself obsessing over minor incidents and isolating yourself from friends often, then I’d really recommend seeing your GP or seeking out therapy (if such things even exist on the NHS anymore) because it’s really quite extreme behaviour.

Totally outing to anyone who knows me. My best friends had a civil partnership and during the speeches, I walked with my wine glass and bottle of wine. Slipped landed flat on my back, holding my arms. Stood to a round of applause and my first words were "well I didn't spill a drop".

Didn't ruin our friendship in the slightest.

People will remember someone fell over not who - so stop overthinking

At a bottle collection for the PTA at school a couple of years ago a bag broke and 2 bottles of wine and 3 ciders split outside the reception area. It still talked about but no one remembers it as me.

Even if they do its just one of those moments - it didnt overshadow the wedding at all

In the nicest possible way, you’re not that important and people don’t remember. I don’t say that to be a dick, as someone with anxiety I often use days off work and spoke to my manager about how coming into the office after a bad day (being off) is too hard sometimes because I felt people were looking at me and judging me. She said this to me. It really put it in perspective.

A stranger trips over infront of you, do you ever think about it again? Probably not, and that’s exactly how the majority of the other wedding guests will be. Those that know you may occasionally think “Oh remember that time Bottlez fell over and the wedding?” “Oh yeah haha, ah it wa such a lovely wedding wasn’t it, didn’t bride look great, wasn’t the food lovely, blah blah blah” other people aren’t not devoted to giving this headspace. Relax.

My son's reception in the summer was held outside on very dry cracked ground. One guest got her heel caught in a crack, fell over the seating and landed on the table. If you didn't know her you would assume she was legless from alcohol and some people probably thought that but it was just a trip. We helped her up and she laughed it off.

I can understand you felt embarrassed but I am sure bon one else has given it another thought.

Without meaning to sound rude you're being ridiculous. It's an absolute none issue. Gosh I've done so many more drunken embarrassing things at weddings than briefly falling over. And to push a good friend away because you're a bit embarrassed is very sad. Just laugh it off, your friend will be more upset with your behaviour after the incident!

Ah come on lass shake it off! It's your anxiety talking and I can guarantee nobody has given it a second thought. This shit happens.

Seriously, nobody at that wedding cares that you fell and were unhurt. They really don't.

At a relatives wedding, during the speeches, we had someone who was a bit more ill than thought, and fainted. At a table near the top too. The whole shebang was stopped, people ushered out, ambulance called. It was fine. Best Man did his speech later on etc, and when we talk about memories of that day that incident rarely comes up actually! Yours was a blip compared, please don't worry

You need to get over it. We have all embarrassed ourselves at one time or another.

The idea that somebody should distance themselves from me because they fell over at my wedding would be really quite disturbing.

Thanks to all you kind ladies for helping me rationalise the whole thing I'm sure DH will be pleased that he doesn't have to listen to me drone on about it!

I do suffer from bad anxiety and worry hugely about how other people perceive me. It's not the first time I've made a fool of myself in front of friends - I think I'm just a naturally clumsy person. I hate that about myself.

Anxiety does make the silly little things you do seem HUGE and out of all proportion.

Most people can think of a mortifying moment they have been part of but if they ask friends and family about it they'll probably find that no-one else really remembers it at all. (Or the incident will be remembered incorrectly and starring another person!)

If someone else had fallen off the chair, would you be thinking badly of them all these months later (or even on the day)? If so - you would be being most unreasonable!

There's a great quote from Paulo Coehlo, which may be of comfort to you:

"We wouldn't worry nearly so much about what others thought of us, if we recognise how seldom they do."

In all the things that happened on your friend's wedding day - the biggest and most important being that your friend got married - I doubt she is spending much time thinking about your stumble.

As long as you didn't fall headfirst into their cake, in the kindest of ways, I doubt they give a shit.

"DH thinks I'm completely overreacting and has asked me to stop going on about it, but I can't stop worrying about it and the effect it could have on our friendship. AIBU?"

yes, 100% and then some more. In the nicest way, it was an accident. Not your fault. It was not something you should even think of again.

Please do not drive your husband mad with this and please do not distance yourself from your friend.

I do think this is the anxiety talking OP, but honestly - it's nothing worth losing a friend over. You are over-estimating your importance to the other guests on the day, it's the bride that is the focus of their attention!

You are BU and DH is right, you are overreacting. Your friend probably won’t want to be friends with someone who distances them self with seemingly no reason! She must be wondering what on earth she has done for you to step away.
People really don’t think about you even half as much as you think they do. It was her wedding, they were there to see her & her DH. They will not be making the bride & grooms big day day about you-honestly!

OP I bet you're the only person who even remembers it. It's always worse for the person it happens to and it's prefectly normal to cringe a bit about it for a little while.

But to still be mortified, months after, is a bit OTT and I think you might want to get a bit of help with your anxiety as I'm sure it must be making you unhappy.

Forget it now and give your friend a call to arrange to meet. I'm sure she's puzzled as to why you've withdrawn

OP - to remove yourself as a friend because she wouldn't want to be friends with you is ridiculous! As you should know. Friends are hard to come by - and you want to lose one because you're embarrassed? Silly.

Scooby that reminds me of a friend's birthday party; she had a 70s theme. I went as one of the girls from ABBA and wore funky high platform mules. At one stage we were all dancing in a circle and people would go into the middle to do their party piece (remember that? now that's embarrassing ) Anyway I didn't realise that someone was going round the back to push people into the middle - he came up behind me and gave me a shove... I flew right out of my mules and landed on my face, holding my glass of wine above my head! Not a drop was spilled!

I was embarrassed, and a little bruised, but I have only just this minute remembered it! OP - you will be the same in a year or so, so long as you don't keep rehashing it in your own head. No one else is.

I very nearly fell over at the front of the church at my own wedding. As I got up from kneeling I caught my heel in the back of my dress and narrowly avoiding sprawling forward across the steps and landing at the vicar's feet. In the end I leaned on my very new DH and did a big wobble but kept myself upright.

if it makes you feel better I fell off my chair and collapsed the table in the process during my GCSE maths exam in the middle of a silent exam hall.