To be shocked by the hypocrisy on mumsnet

[Peaceisbliss]

I'm sorry if this is going to come across as a rant but I'm genuinely shocked by the hypocrisy on here
Yesterday I joined mumsnet and started a thread about a damaged friendship. I received replies many supportive, some very unkind.
That's fine. My point is many posters profess such deep concern of how to protect their children from the unkind aspects of the internet and yet as adults make very harsh unkind comments themselves.

Surely the fact you recognise it as being unkind and monitor your child's internet access to avoid such hurt speaks volumes.
If you wouldn't want it done to those you care about then why do it to random strangers?

Could people try and explain such a hypocritical mindset.

I made a similar thread like this and it didn’t go down well (heads up) I do think it needs addressing on this forum but it is common on a lot of forums.

Mumsnet is not a hive mind, it is thousands upon thousands of individuals with individual opinions and morals.

Not everyone on MN is a parent btw.

Some people on Mumsnet definitely are mean. They wouldn't say this stuff face to face. I've deleted my account many times because of this.

You seem to be suggesting that the whole of the Internet should be child-friendly on the off-chance that one could drop by. MM is a parenting forum, where adults talk to adults, it's not a place that many would want their children to be, so they would probably block it.

I don't know; I guess a lot of being a parent is based on do as I say and not as I do.

How many parents drink too much and eat junk, but would be horrified if their children did the same?

People who are unpleasant online just because they're anonymous are dicks. I don't think it's got much to do with the example they set their kids though.

Not another one...
Must admit people are finding increasingly creative ways to produce "You're so meeeaaan" threads though.

This place is full of keyboard warriors who in real life are probably meek little mice. They use the internet to live a fantasy life where they think their opinions actual matter.

The reason is, There's a difference between adults and children, basically.

Sorry you were upset though.

(not sure how it's hypocrisy either - I've had a look at your thread and you had a mix of responses)

What sooty said.

We used to have this thread once a month or so. Now it's more like twice a week. One poster on this thread seems to think of little else.

Its not a case of making it child friendly. Its a case of acting like a decent human being if that's the world you want children to grow up in. Hostility breeds...and if not from adults then who?

I am also amazed at the amount of swearing and not mild swearing but words like cunt is found in practical every thread.

Now I do swear in real life and most people I know do but no one uses the cunt word.

So no one on the internet can disagree with you because it hurts your feelings, and as an adult you haven't learnt the skills to deal with that yet?

You choose to be here. If you don't like it, it's anonymous and optional. You don't have to stay.

but it's very subjective, OP - one person's unkindness is another's robust debate.

I really don't see what this has to do with children, though.

I say cunt. Not all the time, but fairly regularly, dependent on the company I am with. I also say fucking cunt, bastarding cunt, wankstain and any number of other epithets of choice.

That doesn't mean I'd say them when the vicar is round for tea. It's about knowing one's audience.

There are other parenting fora where there is no swearing if it's too cunty here for you!

People on Mumsnet are supposed to be adults and not get knickers in a twist over somebody posting a rude or unkind comment. Young children can't always process that.

Some people enjoy being mean.

Some people think their opinion is the only right one.

Some people might say they're a middle aged mother of three living in Somerset... but they're not.

Its not hypocrisy it's just life online innit

Plus, much of the social media young kids are on is not anonymous and/or they are at risk of grooming from unsavoury types.

Kids should be protected to a certain degree as they're just kids figuring out the world. Adults are wiser and should be able to have debates which explore other people's opinions a bit more vividly, and they should be 'adult' enough to not let it harm them.

Fair points. It just seems we wonder why our children seem more and more hostile and aggressive to each other in society and it makes me wonder that their older generation may be inforcing a lot of such behaviour.

I agree that in order to be pithy and come up with a soundbite, some people are too harsh. An above poster mentions the keyboard warrior syndrome - plenty od those too. But I don't think people being blunt or hurting your feelings is a reflection on how they bring up their children. I don't think I saw your thread yesterday but what you are implying is a lot more hurtful and judgement than someone saying get a grip or grow up.

I don't think my children are more hostile and aggressive. What way are you rearing your children that you think that?

Yep, welcome to MumsNet!

It's not a "Mumsnet" issue.

If you ask a question of a large cross section of anonymous people you are always going to get a range of opinions. Some will agree with you, some will not.

It's just the internet.

I agree that people say things on here they wouldn’t dare say in real life but I think you just have to brush it off as part of the ‘internet personality’ some people adopt. Random example but imagine a post where OP says she’s been babysitting for someone and no longer wants to. Within a few pages you’ll get a response like ‘tbh OP I think you’re a fucking pushover and you should never have started in the first place, grow up and sort this out’ - there’s no chance you’d react like that in person, regardless of how upfront you are. Just try and laugh through it and see it as very odd behaviour