To be shocked by the hypocrisy on mumsnet

[Peaceisbliss]

I'm sorry if this is going to come across as a rant but I'm genuinely shocked by the hypocrisy on here
Yesterday I joined mumsnet and started a thread about a damaged friendship. I received replies many supportive, some very unkind.
That's fine. My point is many posters profess such deep concern of how to protect their children from the unkind aspects of the internet and yet as adults make very harsh unkind comments themselves.

Surely the fact you recognise it as being unkind and monitor your child's internet access to avoid such hurt speaks volumes.
If you wouldn't want it done to those you care about then why do it to random strangers?

Could people try and explain such a hypocritical mindset.

You're the poster who was miffed a friend didn't offer to travel an hour each way to cook your tea because you have a five week old broken leg and roasted her for it aren't you? When you had a crew of local friends who were helping you.

Now you're complaining about hurt feelings because not everybody called her a cow and validated said roasting you gave her.

This is the internet, there are a million people on here. That's a lot of different experiences. It's nothing to do with how people raise their kids. Mine for eg isn't allowed SM full stop. Kids don't have the emotional capacity to cope.... Neither do a lot of adults thinking about it.

I never said anyone hurt my feelings. I'm tough enough to handle it. I just feel that it's possible to disagree with anyone without resorting to being unkind.
But that maybe too much of a simplistic view.

This place is full of keyboard warriors who in real life are probably meek little mice. They use the internet to live a fantasy life where they think their opinions actual matter.

^This.

Unkind is a subjective definition, it's not an objective word.

It's not everyone at all, but MN is a huge website now and you will get a lot of arseholes statistically. But for every one arsehole you have 10 normal posters... it's just hard to not focus on the dickheads.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff

This place is full of keyboard warriors who in real life are probably meek little mice. They use the internet to live a fantasy life where they think their opinions actual matter.

Now that's just mean.

There's a difference between adults and children.

Could people try and explain such a hypocritical mindset

Unless you're able to show it is the same posters both professing "deep concern of how to protect their children from the unkind aspects of the internet" and making the harsh, unkind comments then it isn't hypocrisy.

MN isn't a hive mind, it is a collective of individuals - that's its great strength.

@Peaceisbliss I whole heartedly 1000% agree with you on this.

I think there is a lot of "holier than thou" on MN....just take it with a pinch of salt....a percentage of the people on this (or any other) forum are often people with fake profiles bored and looking for something to do. MN can be good for advice and support though when you filter through some of the unhelpfulness...

I remember your thread yesterday and responded to you. I don’t know why you were being given such a hard time to be honest and thankfully not every thread end up going into a ‘who can be the meanest’ battle. I know full well that in real life some people are kind and some are arseholes and it certainly get magnified on the internet. However I think some people should be a bit more mindful when the OP is clearly having a hard time. There’s no need to pile more shit on. And I do hope that people are not teaching their kids that not bothering finding five minutes to phone a friend who’s come out of the hospital with broken bones is ok.

The problem is that you posted in AIBU. It's always quite harsh.
Hope the broken bones are mending

The difference is that children believe it when people say things like "you are fat, ugly and have no friends" where as, as an adult, you just shrug and say yeah whatever you are entitled to your opinion. Adults should be more resilient. but having said that I have noticed an increasing number of posts over the years where the poster just wants everyone to agree with them and for no one to have a counter opinion. anyone expressing something that the Op doesn't want to hear gets accused of being mean. If you just want validation for your views and opinions, look in the mirror and tell yourself.

I am not meek and mild in real life - far from it. and sometimes, I have to tone down what I would say here because its an internet forum and because I don't know the mental health of the person posting.

I hate the hypocrisy of posting Am I being Unreasonable and when someone says "actually yes you are" the poster gets all hurt and defensive. don't post it if you don't want the views of strangers.

Some people are just mean OP.
A minority of people are mean, at school, in the workplace, some even to their own family. It’s best to just try and keep away from them.

So those who don't agree with you are unkind. Okay.

I hate the hypocrisy of posting Am I being Unreasonable and when someone says "actually yes you are" the poster gets all hurt and defensive. don't post it if you don't want the views of strangers.

I agree with this.

Your thread was fairly evenly balanced. You also never addressed the legitimate complaints that you said since your friend didn’t have children, she had no commitments.

@gamerchick some people have poor comprehension skills and misinterpret what has actually been said.

dontalltalkatonce - yep. Yet another thread where if you don't agree you are mean.

why doesn't mumsnet get rid of some of its quieter threads and have a "please only agree with me on this point" thread. then those of us who like commenting and being honest can read the post and if we don't agree we wont comment. those people who like constant validation of their viewpoint can then post away to their hearts content in the sure and certain knowledge that no one will upset them. What a nation of snowflakes we are becoming!

So, you joined yesterday and today you’re telling us thousands of posters are all hypocritical?

I think a lot of it is frustrated, hormonal, stressed out, exhausted posters who just take their rage out on some randomers on the internet as that's easier than facing the repercussions in real life.

We're supposed to take it on the chin, if you don't like it leave, grow up etc. etc.
*Shrug
I just ignore them now.

A lot of people on Mumsnet think the AIBU category gives them the right to let rip. It’s a pretty nasty place.

You'll notice too OP if you look awry any given thread the first few posters set the tone. The more people agree you're wrong the more able they feel to be absolutely vile about it. Then someone will come on and say 'hang on, you're all being horrid' and it'll go the other way a bit. It works the other way too. Its a word phenomenon and has more to do with the way groups work than hypocrisy I reckon.

This place is full of keyboard warriors who in real life are probably meek little mice. They use the internet to live a fantasy life where they think their opinions actual matter.

Oh the irony. Someones complains about people being mean by being mean.

I totally agree with the fact I asked a question and was given a range of replies. I took all views on board and if anyone cares to read my thread I'd like to think
I responded in a mature fashion.
It just puzzled me why there was often a degree of aggression that didn't match up to the original post.
Like i said ive only just joined and I am open to any kind of discussion whether I agree or not with replies. But it is still my view that it's no suprise society is falling apart if many as adults need to communicate in such an aggresive manner.
Thankfully I can see there are some lovely supportive people on here. Il focus on that positive.

You’ll get all different responses because people have all different lives and backgrounds. I don’t often start a thread because I know how I feel and couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. That sounds awful doesn’t it but it’s true, I don’t want a load of people’s opinions so I don’t ask.

Some people will be unhappy and enjoy upsetting you or they might be a troll as well. I think the best you can do is take what you want and dismiss the rest. Don’t take anything personally, it’s defo a far cry from the real world a lot of the time!

I see people advising others to cut people out of their lives in a heartbeat. Ok we’ll go nc with the whole of my family cos someone gave my daughter an apple without asking haha.

I hope you’re ok 💐