To be shocked by the hypocrisy on mumsnet

[Peaceisbliss]

I'm sorry if this is going to come across as a rant but I'm genuinely shocked by the hypocrisy on here
Yesterday I joined mumsnet and started a thread about a damaged friendship. I received replies many supportive, some very unkind.
That's fine. My point is many posters profess such deep concern of how to protect their children from the unkind aspects of the internet and yet as adults make very harsh unkind comments themselves.

Surely the fact you recognise it as being unkind and monitor your child's internet access to avoid such hurt speaks volumes.
If you wouldn't want it done to those you care about then why do it to random strangers?

Could people try and explain such a hypocritical mindset.

I’ve also read the thread and unless I’ve missed a post I saw none that were ‘aggressive’ or ‘unkind’ just some that said they thought Yabu after you asked.
And you aren’t willing to say which posts you found aggressive or unkind so

Read your op again. You have made broad sweeping generalisations in your op and in subsequent posts.

I haven't read the OP's other thread. If no one was being aggressive and there wasn't name calling this thread is just puzzling.

And why on earth would someone make sweeping generalisations and judge a site just one day after becoming a member?

Exactly my question, @ilovesooty - a question the OP has ignored.

Personally, I think you were being a bit snowflakey on your other thread, and implying that having no children + working from home meant that that your friend (and therefore others in similar position) couldn't be too busy to contact you more and show greater care of you was definitely goady.

However, do check out Shopmobility.

The swearing is beyond stupid, I agree. 🙄

This is a forum aimed at adults and anyone, including people who aren't patents btw can join. There is a talk guideline and if you think a poster has overstepped that you can report and MN will take care of it.

However, this thread does read a bit like 'please can we all be nice and if we don't agree with me then sugar coat it'. The world isn't like that and things that you consider unkind aren't viewed the same as everyone else just because they go against your opinion.

And yes whilst you are saying some of us are unkind. Aren't you being unkind to state that if someone doesn't have children and works at home on your other thread then essentially they have no commitments?

As much as I would agree sometimes folks can be a little aggressive, I also think this whole passive aggressive stuff of you're all hypocritical and unkind and society will fall apart because of your shoddy behaviour. Neither is good and it's simply two sides of the same coin.

You do seem to either be very sensitive or very judgemental, I'm not sure which, you're not happy with your friends behaviour, you're not happy with mumsnet members behaviour. It maybe says something more about you than everyone else.

Thing with mumsnet is that it's like any other social forum - you get all sorts of different people with different personalities, different opinions, different experiences and different ways of interacting with others (which is a polite way of saying that some people are nicer than others). There's no overriding common factor apart from I dare say that the majority of posters are female and are a parent. The AIBU thread in particular is known for no-holds barred opinions and some of them can be harsh but again, people are affected and shaped by their own individual experiences.

Aren't you being unkind to state that if someone doesn't have children and works at home on your other thread then essentially they have no commitments?

Good point.

thankyou Ilovesooty.

I think actually this thread has sorted of summed up the problems I have had with mn recently. posters are really quick to take offence. they only really want a positive response - an affirmation - they aren't posting for advice or help or a what should I do. They just want that lovely warm feeling of knowing they are right and the other person is wrong and lots of people on the internet have told them so.

I just don't think people are really very resilient and I wont use the "s" word but it just must make their lives quite a challenge really if every time someone doesn't positively reinforce their view they think they are being mean and get all offended.

Lots of times people have disagreed with me. There you go. Not a problem. Some people on here hold very different views to me about things - controlled crying is guaranteed to bring the two camps on this issue out. but I don't get hurt or offended by it. they have their views based on their life experiences and I have mine.

I always read what they have to say and it does regularly make me think hard about my own choices. but I don't sit at the keyboard with my lip quivering.

Also if any posts do cross the line from disgreeing to becoming a personal attack then there is a report button next to every post and personal attacks are deleted.
But you can’t complain just because you asked for opinions and some people gave opinions you didn’t like.

You do seem to either be very sensitive or very judgemental, I'm not sure which, you're not happy with your friends behaviour, you're not happy with mumsnet members behaviour. It maybe says something more about you than everyone else

Yeah, I thought similar when this thread was posted. ^^ but you know you're going to get called mean for saying so.

I haven't read your other thread op but I agree with your general point. I sometimes read posts on here from grown adults, many of whom are mothers and cannot believe the spite, venom, taunting, ganging up and jeering and I do wonder if these same people tut tut about bullying in schools while indulging in similar behavior themselves.

The truth is there are lots of vicious and cruel people on mumsnet. It’s not even a few bad apples - often the majority of posters on a thread are being foul. It’s the nature of internet anonymity I suppose.

Blanchedupetitpois

Which begs the question what are you doing here, in that case? Clearly, you disapprove of ALL the “ bad apples”.
Are you yourself a bad pea?

@Blancheduppetitpois - what about all the great things MN does - I wrote a longer post listing some of them earlier on the thread.

I think its best if you read the thread.

Wait... is this a Thread about a Thread? Those are definitely not on on MN.

Totally agree with @Dontsweatthelittlestuff

I do wonder why people carry on posting on MN when they think it is so dreadful, full of foul-mouthed keyboard warriors etc etc. Why not find a (parenting) forum that suits you better?

Would you walk into a sports bar that was showing football, and say they were horrid for not switching over to Strictly? Or into a gin bar and complain that there wasn’t enough whisky behind the bar? Would you tug in McDonald’s about the lack of silver service or starched napkins?

MN suits most of the people who post here, but it isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea - and that is fine. We are all different and we all like different things - but it is a bit arrogant, imo, to come onto a well-established forum and say you don’t like the way it does things, which suit most of its members. Membership here is not compulsory - you don’t even have to read threads - if you think MN is so dreadful, why stay?

Lweji, I wondered that upthread and couldn't decide, so I didn't report (also think it's better to let this one stand anyway, as it's not a "why was that thread deleted, what happened?" thread).

Peaceisbliss, you have very graciously decided to focus on positives. It is so so kind of you, and we all appreciate your munificence.

You are just so right, @Jux!