To leave 7 week old alone in bedroomwith a baby monitor?

[HollyGoLoudly1]

Wise mumsnetters, please advise - SIDS advice says if baby is sleeping that they should be in the same room as you until 6 months. I want to start a bedtime routine with baby going down in the bedroom at 8pm. Is this ok if I am listening in using a monitor? Or do they literally have to be in the same room (i.e. living room) until I go to bed?

She might be able to put him straight into the crib then (right next to her) and leave the moses basket out of the equation.

This thread is pissing me off because of the ‘most sleep problems are caused’ angle. If the op chooses to pursue a routine and it works, fine. If it doesn’t work, please don’t feel it was you op and you can always try again later.

I always used to want to invite the ‘ooo you’re creating bad habits/ it’s your fault your baby isn’t sleeping more than 2 hours’ (which is essentially what some people on this thread are saying) people round to our house to put our baby to sleep. I guarantee you’d end up with what works... which was not to put him down in his own cot! And a routine made not a jot of difference. It helps now he’s older, but when he was little it would have been madness to pursue it. He didn’t lie down comfortably on a flat surface until he was four months, for starters. Reflux fun time. Some babies are just crap sleepers. Some people ended up with good sleepers a few times and think it’s something they did. It’s not. They are their own little beings right from day one, it appears. You can mess around in the margins but you have to work with what you’ve got, and a routine isn’t going to magically shift a non sleeper into a sleeper. The biggest thing that helps withthat is time. It helps to make you feel like you’re doing something is all.

Ours was downstairs or in our room with us, but I did leave him sleeping whilst I took shower/ washed up. I did check on him fairly regularly though.

@mathanxiety that's exactly my question - can I put him down in the crib when he falls asleep late evening rather than keeping him in the living room with us?

He has been falling asleep sometime between 7.30-9, and sleeping 4-5 hours. I don't want to have to go to bed at 7.30 or potentially have to stay up in the living room until 1-2am with him. And if I lift him he will wake up. Obviously baby's needs come first so if it's unavoidable then it's what we will have to do, but my question was can I put him in the crib by himself for an hour or 2. Some folk say yes, some folk say no + I still haven't decided either way

It's fine. My second always slept on another room with a baby monitor on, even for day time naps. I have an older child with severe autism so the baby's sleep rave me precious time for her therapist. In the real world parents have to di lots of things while baby sleeps, they carnt be in the same room, it's ossified esp when you have other childten who's needs are equally important.

Certainly, put him to bed and enjoy your evening!

You could but I'd get a monitor with a breathing sensor alarm and maybe a camera for peace of mind. If your baby is in a sleeping bag they should be fine, if you follow all the safe sleep stuff too with the basket (no toys in there etc).

The more I think about this advice the more ridiculous it seems, what are single parents, or parents who have their other half either working in the evening or similar meant to do. How would older dc's homework and bed time routines get supported? It just doesn't seem to be based in many if not most parents reality.

Really interesting to read this, as i posed a similar question in sleep a couple of days ago. I have a breastfed 5 week old who seems to hate being downstairs in the evening. He fusses and cries all evening. As soon as I take him upstairs he settles and sleeps for 4-5 hours! (I have a toddler who didn't sleep that long till she was 2, so I'm amazed and chuffed I've got a decent sleeper... [for now, i don't doubt it'll change]).

I will start a routine, as I did for DD at around 3 months, which will involve him being alone upstairs for a couple of hours. Obviously will check on him frequently. If DH or I sat upstairs with him then we'd never see each other, DH doesn't get home till 7 and we cook and eat after that.

I find the advice to always be in the same room completely impractical. I'm usually in the same room as him while he's sleeping, but if i need to move away to make a brew/lunch/answer the door/hang the laundry, etc etc etc, then i will. If the toddler needs her bum wiping or is about to do something dangerous then of course I'll have to leave him. If he's asleep when I'm doing the toddlers bedtime routine then there's no chance in hell I'll move him into the bathroom when she's having a bath, or into her room while I'm settling her, and risk him waking up and throwing her bedtime off. I just put him down and pray he stays asleep! Similarly, in the morning we leave him sleeping so that we can both shower, dress, dress and feed toddler, etc, and pray he stays asleep. I don’t understand how the people who never leave their babies sleeping get on with anything else??? Especially if they have other kids?

Interesting about the theory being that they regulate their breathing from hearing you breathe. My eldest is profoundly deaf from birth, so wouldn't have ever heard us breathe. I wonder if any retrospective sids studies have been done looking at association with hearing loss.

Baby being in the same room as you for sleeps HALVES the risk of sids.

Yes HALVES it.

So does BFing but I bet you're not on every FF/BFing thread shouting that. There are a variety of risk factors, we don't all follow them all.

DD1 was in her own room at 6 days old because I am such a light sleeper that I was getting no sleep due to her noisy sleeping. She was next door, less than a metre away. Since we were low risk for all other factors I decided I could live with the doubling in risk (from a tiny number to a slightly bigger tiny number).

I put my boys in their own rooms at 7 weeks and 5 weeks and they both slept through from 8 weeks from about 11pm until 7am. They were and still are excellent sleepers. Do what you think is right. If you ask a HV they will say no.

As a health care professional who has dealt many times with the babies who have died of sids being brought in to A&E... YABVU.
The parents have usually done something like put the baby in their own room too early, fell asleep holding them, left them in a carseat etc and they are devastated, blaming themselves because they knew there was a risk and did it anyway.. No amount of comforting from us helps and I can't imagine carrying that burden and loss. Heartbreaking.
Just follow the guidelines, 6 months isn't a long time in scheme of things

Why are you even considering this OP? Your Child is 7 Weeks old and you want to leave them alone in another Room? Sorry but that's a Huge concern for Me 

The parents have usually done something like put the baby in their own room too early, fell asleep holding them, left them in a carseat etc

Or smoke while pregnant (like the mothers of 90% of babies who die of SIDS) or not breastfeed? People are acting here like sleeping alone is 'the cause' of SIDS, but it really isn't - it's one factor among very many others.

When did the SIDs advice change from being having them sleep in the same room as you to 6 months - which I and everyone I know interpreted as being overnight - to having them take every nap/ sleep with you in the same room?

Or did I just massively misinterpret the advice? Eldest DC is 9 so I was probably only fully up on the advice when she was born. I think pretty much everyone I know, whether or not their baby had their own room by 6 months or not, had their babies napping and having the early part of the night sleep (so 7 - 10 pm or so) in their cot by 3 months or so, mainly because most babies had grown out of their moses baskets by then.

To nip to the loo sure - I had a breathing sensor monitor in his crib for such times.

For longer than that - no don't do it.

Or smoke while pregnant (like the mothers of 90% of babies who die of SIDS) or not breastfeed? People are acting here like sleeping alone is 'the cause' of SIDS, but it really isn't - it's one factor among very many others
In my personal experience, it's always been one of the scenarios I described. If justifying a choice to take an unnecessary risk that way makes someone feel more comfortable, that's fine, but I have seen the consequences and I couldn't cope with that myself.

@onemouseplace the advice has been for the last few years that if a baby is sleeping, they need to be in the same room as you.
Theres no other way around it, they're just as likely to die of SIDS at 2pm as they are at 1am.

My daughter was in her room from 2 weeks, with a video monitor and sensor mat. Had a kind of routine but didn't really stick to it. She has always been a content baby and slept well, shes now 5 and would do the same if we had another

Xx

The scaremongering and guilt-tripping on this thread is disgusting. No wonder "mum guilt" is a thing - here we are on a forum for parents to support each other and instead we're just tearing each other down for making different decisions to us.

@ogglet Don't be ridiculous. Loads of people leave their babies alone when they're napping, even at 7 weeks. For many people it's unavoidable - single parents with more than one child, for example. It's not a "Huge concern".

@MrMakersFartyParty Every parent whose baby sadly dies from SIDS can find something they did that might have caused it. God forbid it ever happen to me, I hope I don't encounter a healthcare professional who secretly thinks it's my fault for FFing or not giving my baby a dummy. We all know what the guidelines are. It's up to us to balance those against our own particular circumstances.

@peachgreen each to their own, it's concerning in my 'ridiculous' opinion 🤦‍♀️

People who say too young for routine are same ones that have bad sleepers

Nope. My DD has slept through (7-7) since she was 16 weeks old. We kept her downstairs with us till we went to bed till she was around 7 months and she didn't go into her own room till she was well over a year. She has had a very settled and steady routine since she was around 9 months and still sleeps like a champ at nearly 2.

I wouldn't of even thought of attempting a bedtime routine at 7 weeks old.

@peachgreen I have never suggested it's their fault, I was explaining what the parents have told me. I would never say its their fault! How disgusting. I hate that they have to carry that burden around and the only positive I can take from it is informing others of the risks. Fwiw I formula fed.

I wouldn't of even thought of attempting a bedtime routine at 7 weeks old.

Of course not because you didn't have a baby who got disturbed in the evenings! If DS had been happy as larry napping in the living room of course I would have him there - as would OP if her baby wasn't being woken up by being moved from one room to another. This thread is plagued with people who think all babies are the same. Of course you can't make them good sleepers with a routine, but nor can you make them sleep through anything by trying to force them to. What worked for your baby isn't the actual one true right way. We're all just trying to do what's right for our babies.

Theres no other way around it, they're just as likely to die of SIDS at 2pm as they are at 1am.

Except of course a PP has already said 85% of cot deaths happen at night.

Genuine question, ‘why wouldn’t you start a routine with a young baby?’. Obviously this is only anecdotal amongst my own group of friends but those of us who got our babies into a routine at a young age all had babies that were able to self settle an soon slept through the night. As soon as we got home from hospital my DS was in a routine & slept through, I have genuinely never had a disturbed night, yes I was probably very lucky but I am so grateful when I read on here about some of the nightmares some parents face about getting their children to sleep.
And it’s all very well saying ‘they are only young once’ etc etc but what if you have other children, other commitments, health issues, elderly relatives that need caring for etc etc you can’t always be 100% beside your new baby.