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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 7 week old alone in bedroomwith a baby monitor?

409 replies

HollyGoLoudly1 · 07/11/2018 19:23

Wise mumsnetters, please advise - SIDS advice says if baby is sleeping that they should be in the same room as you until 6 months. I want to start a bedtime routine with baby going down in the bedroom at 8pm. Is this ok if I am listening in using a monitor? Or do they literally have to be in the same room (i.e. living room) until I go to bed?

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 07/11/2018 19:27

YAB extremely U

Firstly the SIDS advice is to stop the baby gong into deep sleep and forgetting to breath.

Secondly a 7 week old cannot follow a bed time routine. You are lucky if you are one of the few whose baby starts to sleep in 4-5 hour blocks at that age.

BlueBug45 · 07/11/2018 19:27

going not gong

RiverTam · 07/11/2018 19:28

7 week’s is absolutely tiny, far too young to be left alone and far too young to be put in a routine. Baby stays with you, just have the Moses basket in the same room as you.

Bambamber · 07/11/2018 19:28

They are supposed to literally be in the same room as you for the risk of SIDS to be reduced.

NotANotMan · 07/11/2018 19:29

How long would they be alone for before you do to bed?
They are supposed to be in the same room as you, but probably an hour or so would be ok.
I do wonder how you're going to put a 7 week old down at 8pm though.

Pebblesandfriends · 07/11/2018 19:29

Too young for bedtime routine, keep baby next to you in basket until you go up to bed.

HarrietM87 · 07/11/2018 19:29

Sids advice is parent in the same room. The baby regulates its breathing from yours. No point doing a bedtime routine until they’re about 4-5 months earliest imo.

Devillanelle · 07/11/2018 19:30

Keep baby in the Moses basket beside you. Forget all thoughts of bedtime for baby until they're 1.

TooManyGlasses · 07/11/2018 19:30

I would say that’s absolutely fine!! I’m not sure how much success you’ll have with a routine at this age but it might well work, depends on your baby. I’m not a medical professional or anything though - maybe ask your health visitor?

GinIsIn · 07/11/2018 19:31

No that’s completely pointless - they are way too young for a routine and the advice is same room as you because they regulate their breathing from yours - a baby monitor won’t do that.

hendricksy · 07/11/2018 19:31

I put both of mine in their own room from birth with a motion monitor . I also had them both in a routine starting on day one and they were well into it by 7 weeks . Sleeping 7-7 at 12 weeks. Not for everyone but I was happy make informed decisions . I personally think co sleeping is super dangerous but loads of people do it .

Lazypuppy · 07/11/2018 19:31

@HollyGoLoudly1 that's what i did at that age. From 8 weeks put her to bed by herself and LO was in her own room from 12 weeks as well.

MonteStory · 07/11/2018 19:33

The SIDs advice is as you’ve said. There’s no point discussing that, it is what it is.

But are you unreasonable, no I don’t think so. We’ve put both our babies down for bed from about 12 weeks and naps in a different room from earlier. I found they napped far better if away from all the action.

Reduce SIDS risk as much as you can: firm flat mattress, no blankets or cuddles or bumpers and lying on their back.

The theory is that the sound of your breathing/your smell keep them from falling into a deep sleep. Might a white noise machine do the same? (I’m not a professional in any way). In America a dummy is suggested for the same reason and many parents apparently give them from day 1.

Lazypuppy · 07/11/2018 19:33

@Devillanelle

Keep baby in the Moses basket beside you. Forget all thoughts of bedtime for baby until they're 1

What a ridiculous comment! My LO has been going to bed 7-7 since 4 months old

chickenchip · 07/11/2018 19:33

Ours started a bedtime routine at about 12 weeks but before then they slept in the lounge with us before going up at 10 when we brought them to bed with us.

Currently (4.5 months) they go to bed at 7 pm with a monitor.

Wheelerdeeler · 07/11/2018 19:34

I'm the opposite here. I had both mine in their own rooms at that age. Both still alive. Out of convenience I kept them downstairs for 11pm feed (one of us went to bed, other stayed up). Def not too young to introduce routine like putting down awake. Changing into jammies at same time etc. People who say too young for routine are same ones that have bad sleepers

AllChangeNat · 07/11/2018 19:35

It may be a bit early to get a solid routine going, but if it helps you... try it. I'd let my baby sleep upstairs whilst I was downstairs, I'm guessing that it'd only be for an hour or so as you're probably knackered and ready to go to bed soon after 8pm yourself. I've got a toddler, if I was to have another baby, i couldn't be in the same room as a sleeping baby AND putting a toddler to bed at the same time. There are literally hundreds of people in that situation every evening.

If you're a worrier, a movement sensor map could put your mind at rest.

Emma145 · 07/11/2018 19:37

I started putting mine to bed before us at 11 weeks when he slept 7 - 6 (until the teething started!) So worked for us. I follow all of the other sids advise with empty bed ect...

plaidlife · 07/11/2018 19:37

No bedtime for baby until they are 1! I waited until my pair were 11 weeks old before putting a routine in place, it nearly broke me and I should have a routine started several weeks before then. But SIDS guidance about rooms wasn't about at the time.
You have to look at the risks and decide what works for you and your family.

Merryoldgoat · 07/11/2018 19:38

A bedtime routine for a 7 week old? I think that may be a little premature.

They are supposed to sleep all of their sleeps in the same room as you if you are following the current advice. 7 weeks is way too early to be separated from them for sleeps.

Original poster
HollyGoLoudly1 · 07/11/2018 19:39

Thanks for the quick replies already.

For everyone saying there's no point trying a routine - I was going to start trying based on Babycentre.com which says to start a routine at 6-8 weeks Confused. I'm a FTM so if this is unrealistic I'm happy to take that on board.

He's sleeping 4+ hours at a time at night but shorter sleeps during the day so I was taking that as a cue that he was ready to start trying a bedtime routine as he seems to be starting to tell the difference between day and night? Or is that just wishful thinking?

OP posts:
gilmoregal · 07/11/2018 19:42

I'm sorry but yes you absolutely are being unreasonable it wouldn't be safe and I'm pretty sure you know that

Routine is great, I'm all for it personally although be aware they do throw curve balls even when it seems like they're settling into a routine great.

I just went into our bedroom when he did and watched tv in bed as he's always slept through noise well. I was usually knackered so happy to lounge about. Sometimes we'd bring the basket down then carry it back up when we went to bed, he was usually awake around 11pm for another feed anyway.

JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot · 07/11/2018 19:43

We did start putting down for naps and then a little later for bedtime with a monitor at this age. Baby had completely outgrown moses basket so there was no alternative. It worked brilliantly for us and she is a fab sleeper now.

Caprisunorange · 07/11/2018 19:43

If the parent isn’t asleep the “helping to regulate breathing” part is irrelevant so not really sure how it helps to have a parent sitting in the same room as a 7 week old staring at themHmm

But then, what’s a baby monitor going to do either?

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 07/11/2018 19:44

I started a bedtime routine as soon as ds came out of hospital (he was in for 4 weeks due to a minor post natal complication). He got fed, bathed, baby grow on, peace and quiet and then into his Moses basket or cot when he was a little older. At just over 3 years old now, he's a great sleeper and is really good at settling because he knows the routine. Unless you're in a huge house and don't physically check on your dc, I'd say you're probably fine using a monitor and not being in the same room.