To leave 7 week old alone in bedroomwith a baby monitor?

[HollyGoLoudly1]

Wise mumsnetters, please advise - SIDS advice says if baby is sleeping that they should be in the same room as you until 6 months. I want to start a bedtime routine with baby going down in the bedroom at 8pm. Is this ok if I am listening in using a monitor? Or do they literally have to be in the same room (i.e. living room) until I go to bed?

I put mine to sleep in a Moses basket in our bedroom at 7pm after evening feed, with a monitor. Then would do evening things until finally going to bed at 11pm for the 11pm feed.

We tried putting the baby in a Moses basket downstairs with us in the lounge after 7pm feed but baby wanted to nap but couldn't because of the lamps, TV noise, movement etc.

So best of both worlds really. Baby still in with us all night but we did get an evening from 7-11pm to ourselves and baby got a good proper sleep too.

Also when the baby had outgrown the Moses basket we changed to a swinging crib. The same sort of thing, a lot smaller than a cot but bigger/longer than a Moses basket. Was perfect for months 3-6 in the bedroom.

Agree that all those saying no routine til 1 probably have bad sleepers! My DS has always been a great sleeper, at 7 weeks he first slept through the night (8 hours) and he was doing this reliably by 10 weeks. He went into his own room at the same age as he was too big for the Moses basket. At 7 weeks he was going to bed the same time as us so we would also get a good chunk of sleep, we were doing a sort of routine though (bath, jammies, last feed in the dark, cuddle, bed).

SIDS is very very rare. I believe it peaks in the second month and then drops right down.

This thread makes me really cross.
SIDS advice is only advice. That's all it is. A recommendation.

Years ago people put babies in other rooms, nurseries, straight away.

Not so much these days. But it's still a choice.

Plus, my 2 put themselves into their own routine straight away, within days, and slept through from a very early age. I don't see why people are so anti routine.

I completely disagree with the 'no point to start a routine'. I started a simple routine from very early in (within first few weeks). Something like bath, in a dim room for change, feed and songs before I put him down in his Moses basket. Did it around 7/8ish and made that the 'last' feed before bed time even though I knew he'd be up for a feed in exactly 2 hours time. He slept through at 5 months and is a great sleeper thankfully.
I don't think I left him for more than about 15 mins at that young age (quick shower, eat) then I tried to sleep when he did so didn't sit up and watch TV in the evening until he was older. It felt right for me to be near him for pretty much all the time at that age - to keep an eye on him so I wouldn't have been comfortable leaving him upstairs with a monitor on then.

I have linked stats about sids. About 240 babies die every year from SIDS in the UK. www.lullabytrust.org.uk/professionals/statistics-on-sids/

Mine were in their own rooms from night 1. They are now 14 and 12. I suppose advice was different then, or perhaps we used the internet less.

I was also a great fan of routines as nap times in their cot in their room gave me a tiny break and much needed headspace.

Good luck, OP

*This thread makes me really cross.
SIDS advice is only advice. That's all it is. A recommendation.

Years ago people put babies in other rooms, nurseries, straight away.

Not so much these days. But it's still a choice.

Plus, my 2 put themselves into their own routine straight away, within days, and slept through from a very early age. I don't see why people are so anti routine.*

In the 1980s over 3000 babies died a year from SIDS in the UK. Since the introduction of guidelines this has massively reduced.

<a class="break-all" href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160108000640/www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/hsq/health-statistics-quarterly/no--5--spring-2000/trends-in-cot-deaths.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160108000640/www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/hsq/health-statistics-quarterly/no<a class="break-all" href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160108000640/www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/hsq/health-statistics-quarterly/no--5--spring-2000/trends-in-cot-deaths.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">5-5--<a class="break-all" href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160108000640/www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/hsq/health-statistics-quarterly/no--5--spring-2000/trends-in-cot-deaths.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">spring-2000/trends-in-cot-deaths.pdf

Hi Op.

We started routine at about 8 weeks. We had a monitor with the breathing mats. However even with the monitor I was up and down like a yo-yo. Starting a routine early worked really well for us. If we had another I would definitely do it again.

With the exception of one family everyone I know IRL started a bedtime routine between 8 and 12 weeks.

No routine until 1 is a load of rubbish and as a pp said, why so many young children are rubbish sleepers. I did a nice bedtime routine very early on, bath, changed, night stuff on, quieter at night, less lights, less cuddles. Had 2 very good sleepers.

Ftm baby 6 months now, been in his own room from birth, sleeping through from 6 weeks?

I personally wouldn't but your not me. As for all the people that say "I did a routine from day 1 and now my kids are brilliant sleepers" I did no set routine with my dd till she was at least 10 months by which stage she had set her own routine and you know what she's a brilliant sleeper too. Funny that. But I'm sat here with my 4 month old ds asleep in my arms. He feeds when he wants and I'm way to lazy to put myself through the stress of a set bedtime for a baby who has no idea what is going on. We probably just have different parenting methods.

Nerr, I'm not disputing the advice.
I support it and believe it of course.

And I'm talking generally here:
But if you chose not to do something, knowing the facts, that is your choice.

I think it depends what you mean by baby going down in bedroom... I.e in own room on own completely or in your room where you will join?

I put my children to sleep upstairs in my bedroom from approx 7 weeks, full routine quickly established and both slept through from 10 weeks. I was hyper vigilant though and checked regularly as well as having camera. I then went to bed in same room a few hours later. So no I didn't leave them in a room on their own for a pro longed period but yes I did establish routine. I don't know how people cope without a routine it made everything else so much easier.

The sids advice is quite a recent thing. I didn't even know about it for ds1.

@Oblomov18 of course, it's about knowing facts. That's why I linked the stats. Before the back to sleep campaign was started and guidelines published more babies died. That is a fact.

Mine all stayed in our bedroom until 12months.
Babies need to be near you. It’s safer.
Easier to lift, feed and settle again too.

'No routine until 1 is a load of rubbish and as a pp said, why so many young children are rubbish sleepers. I did a nice bedtime routine very early on'

How would you know if not having a routine causes children to be rubbish sleepers if you've always had a routine?

Routines are nothing more than a rod for the parents back for most families, with mums trying desperately to get baby to sleep at prescribed times, giving them a bath they don't need and running up and down to the cot all bloody night.

Obviously not if you have one of these magical babies that sleeps 7-7 from 6 weeks old that only exists on MN and that definitely happened because they got their pyjamas on at 6pm 🙄 but for most mums and babies cutting out a routine means cutting out pointless stress.

Oh and the person getting angry about posters sharing up to date SIDS advice - what the fuck?

My 7 week old doesn’t have a particular routine but she naturally goes to ‘bed’ at 8 and sleeps until 2/3 and then wakes at 6/7 in the morning - she goes up to bed at 8 and I go up at 9 so she’s only upstairs for an hour by herself.

Mine would sleep outside in the pram with a monitor at that age. For naps that is, not all night. Im not in the UK, totally normal here.

Do what feels right for you. I think it's best to try things with an open mind and see what works for you and your baby.

My advice to anyone with small baby who hasn't read up on the risk of SIDS is have a good read of the lullaby trust website so that at least you're informed.

As a PP said, chances of it happening are low but the stakes are high.

*@Devillanelle

Forget all thoughts of bedtime for baby until they're 1*

Why can't some people write their view without scaremongering?! Ok some babies might not be great sleepers, be it because of their personality or a lack of bedtime routine, but some are. It's good for new parent to be aware that it's logical to try a simple routine early on to see if it works for them and if not then they can try again with it at a later stage. But to say that a baby can't possibly have any sort of bedtime until 1 isn't helpful and isn't true for all or even most babies.

Health visitor suggested we did this from 6-8 weeks and it worked fine.

No bedtime before 1 is bollocks. My two were great sleepers and I think it's because we set boundaries from early on

Only on MN do people suggest not worrying about a routine and putting their baby to bed in their cot in some kind of routine until they’re one! No wonder the sleep board is overrun with parents never being able to get their wains to sleep.

Deville
FFS
It wasn't the sharing of sids advice.
It was all the posters giving the op a hard time, that I objected to.