Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel insecure because Dsis has had a boob job

146 replies

RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 13:18

Dsis and I looked the same before: Slim with a-cups. She's just had surgery to get a full C. My DH knows that I don't want a boob job, so he would never have suggested it. However, Dsis having this done has sort of normalised the idea. She almost assumed I would do the same when she told me about it, which made me feel a bit bad about myself. (A bit like: "I'm fixing my defect! When are you fixing yours?"). Her DH suggested it, but she didn't do it for him. When I asked DH what he thought about boob jobs, he gave me a really unconvincing answer. Something like "it would be weird if you had boobs all of a sudden" and then "I like you, I married you, etc etc. I'm never going to know, what he really thinks, am I? He would never tell me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

I'm relatively happy with my body, but I don't live under a rock- I know I'm far from the ideal with my tiny breasts. I think physical attraction in long term relationships is really important and I know that men are generally pretty obsessed with boobs, although DH doesn't ever look at or comment about other women, so I have absolutely no idea what his ideal is. I'm getting paranoid that he's secretly wishing I had bigger boobs. If that were the case, I'd rather he told me so I could think about it. I wouldn't want to be with someone forever if they lacked something I really wanted. I don't want surgery for myself, but maybe I would do it for him. I'm just never going to know, am I? It's driving me nuts.

OP posts:
pierlo · 07/11/2018 16:36

I'm a slim person with F cups. I'm not exaggerating when I say they really adversely affect my life. Especially when I was a shy teenager, the attention was really distressing. And don't get me started on backache!

RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 16:55

And ultimately....it's just strange when you think about it that, as a society we prefer people who have two big lumps of plastic shoved under their skin!

That's exactly how I normally feel about the issue. But then my sister went and had that done and it somehow seemed like something that normal people do!

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 07/11/2018 18:07

Not read all answers but just want to say how I miss my small boobs! I used to be slim with an a cup. Now a bit bigger all over, had kids and boobs are a d. Want my A's back now. Love your small boobs I say!

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 07/11/2018 18:25

No not normal but common enough for you to know someone who's had it done. That definitely doesn't mean better though. My sister also has had it done and yes in clothes they look ok but without I much prefer my squashes Grin

Iv just googled Keira knightly and there's a few pictures she has done where she is almost topless and if that's you robotic then you have absolutely lovely breasts! They are something you should be proud of because they are beautiful. Small but absolutely perfectly formed!

Darkstar4855 · 07/11/2018 18:33

My partner’s ex is stick thin with huge fake boobs. It put me off going out with him at first because I thought that was the sort of figure he liked.

Turned out he hated them, said they felt like two hard lumps of concrete and thought she looked better in her “before” photos!

RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 19:12

@Darkstar wow, that really would have put me off as well! Lucky that you found out that he wasn't into that look after all.

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 19:16

@Ginky She's actually done some topless photos where she insisted on no Photoshop. Mine are slightly smaller and I have one inverted nipple, which I hate. Actually, maybe I should just have that nipple fixed. Anyone had that done?

OP posts:
SushiMonster · 07/11/2018 19:17

A cups rock = easy to get sports bars for comfy impact exercise and we can front sleep.

Holdingonbarely · 07/11/2018 19:19

Why don’t you listen to your dh when he tells you what he thinks.
He isn’t saying oh they’re fine and then off wanking to bigbustybitches.com
Lots of men do not like big breasts

tiggerkid · 07/11/2018 19:19

I know that men are generally pretty obsessed with boobs

Some men. My husband is more of a legs men, for example :)

Ignore the sister's comment and just stay true to yourself. You don't have or need to do what she does.

Singlenotsingle · 07/11/2018 19:20

There's nothing attractive about plastic boobs. Alright, I know they're not made of plastic but YKWIM! We always want what we haven't got, but does he actually want to feel lumps of silicone when he touches them?

BonnieF · 07/11/2018 19:29

In my experience, most sensible blokes would much prefer small natural boobs to bigger fake ones and they also prefer natural lips to fake ones.

I’m guessing your DH thinks you are much more attractive than your fake plastic sister.

Sassielassie · 07/11/2018 19:32

It sounds like your self confidence has taken a knock. U & your sis were v similar and now you are seeing her as a more improved version and its making you doubt your own attractiveness (for both u & your DH)
If sis had never had a boobjob would it even have entered your head or were u happy & content before this blip.
Re how your DH feels... try doing the shoe on the other foot scenario.
If Dsis partner went out and had a willy enlargement or false pecs added to his body..would you expect your DH to run out and do the same? Or do you love your DH for the person he is, they way he treats you & the relationship you have built together?
Your answer to that is probably how your DH actually feels about you..which he has tried to tell you..but you cant hear because of this blip setting off negative thoughts in your own head.
Remember..looks fade with time and gravity..even fake looks! Think cricket balls in socks!!! 😆

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/11/2018 19:36

Fake plastic sister? Why would you say that about another woman, Bonnie? That's OP's sister and your post is obnoxious. Hmm

HurrahMoaningMyrtle · 07/11/2018 19:36

I was a AA cup until I started having children and I would never have believed someone had they told me they preferred my size to something bigger. So I can completely understand where you're coming from.
With each child I've gained weight and now I firmly believe my DH prefers me slimmer despite him never saying as much. I think it's a self esteem problem.
Having someone who looked like me but a more polished version would knock my self esteem ever further.
I'm not sure what the answer is except congratulations on your pregnancy, your body is doing something amazing. Again!

Cherries101 · 07/11/2018 19:39

It sounds like your breasts are an insecurity for you. Fuck your DH, if it makes you feel better to get a boob job even if it’s just to a B cup then do it.

Rixera · 07/11/2018 19:42

My boobs got bigger (and were painful!) On a birth control I reacted to. They were the same size as when I was pregnant, c cups to my normal a.

They went down when I switched BC... My OH said 'ah, your normal boobs again, I've missed them.'

Different strokes for different folks!

RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 19:42

@BonnieF I appreciate you're trying to be nice (to me, at least), but please don't slag off my sister, or anyone else who has had plastic surgery.

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 19:43

@Cherries101
I don't actually want one, that's kind of the point.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 07/11/2018 21:10

You don't want a boob job. Your DH doesn't want you to have a boob job. So what did u want from this post?

RoboticSealpup · 07/11/2018 21:16

Plenty of other people got it, Pinky.

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 07/11/2018 21:20

I find the idea of fake boobs a bit gross. Granted I’m not attracted to women but I do appreciate female beauty and things like fake breasts are slightly repulsive to me but maybe I fibd it easier to tell the difference than your average man because I have boobs myself? I don’t really think it’s worth worrying over. If your sister is happy to have fake boobs then good on her but it doesn’t mean that you need them.

InertPotato · 07/11/2018 21:28

I find the idea of fake boobs a bit gross.

Well, yes. This is sort of what I was thinking upthread a bit, but not quite brave enough to say.

Not my cup of tea.

pinkyredrose · 07/11/2018 21:32

Right ok

MaxTeyon · 07/11/2018 21:32

They feel horrible and just look wrong. I’d never shag a woman with fake boobs, not much could make me go limp faster.