To feel insecure because Dsis has had a boob job

[RoboticSealpup]

Dsis and I looked the same before: Slim with a-cups. She's just had surgery to get a full C. My DH knows that I don't want a boob job, so he would never have suggested it. However, Dsis having this done has sort of normalised the idea. She almost assumed I would do the same when she told me about it, which made me feel a bit bad about myself. (A bit like: "I'm fixing my defect! When are you fixing yours?"). Her DH suggested it, but she didn't do it for him. When I asked DH what he thought about boob jobs, he gave me a really unconvincing answer. Something like "it would be weird if you had boobs all of a sudden" and then "I like you, I married you, etc etc. I'm never going to know, what he really thinks, am I? He would never tell me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

I'm relatively happy with my body, but I don't live under a rock- I know I'm far from the ideal with my tiny breasts. I think physical attraction in long term relationships is really important and I know that men are generally pretty obsessed with boobs, although DH doesn't ever look at or comment about other women, so I have absolutely no idea what his ideal is. I'm getting paranoid that he's secretly wishing I had bigger boobs. If that were the case, I'd rather he told me so I could think about it. I wouldn't want to be with someone forever if they lacked something I really wanted. I don't want surgery for myself, but maybe I would do it for him. I'm just never going to know, am I? It's driving me nuts.

Yes he might like bigger boobs but he didn't choose them did he, he chose you just the way you are!

Well, you don't pick your wife out of a line-up of willing candidates, do you? The fact we are married doesn't mean that he thinks I'm perfect.

Your sisters body has nothing to do with you, stop comparing.
I have big boobs naturally and I love the look of an A cup on a slim person. It looks much more elegant.

Boggle.

Sounds like your DH really doesn't have a clue what you're going on about. He loves you.

I think it would be odd for you to have an operation just because your sister has. You are an individual person, you need to concentrate on having your own identity and self confidence.

Your husband has told you he loves the way you are, it's up to you whether you choose to believe that.

(And this is coming from someone who has implants - so I'm not against them!! I just think you'd be doing it for the wrong reasons)

Are you a bit jealous of your sister?

Yes. She looks like society's ideal woman now. I don't. I wonder if the fact that she (a normal woman, not a model or whatever) looks like this is making my DH realise that "fixing yourself up" is an option that "normal people" have, i.e. he could also have a glam wife. But if he did want that, he would never say so.

I know my husband loves me. That doesn't mean he doesn't wish I had bigger boobs. My sister's husband loves her too, and he's the one who suggested this. (Although she definitely didn't do it for him.)

So what if your husband likes bigger boobs? He's happy with you the way you are.

You're making an issue where there is none.

She doesn't have bigger boobs though, she just has bits of plastic (or whatever) under her skin. What's attractive about getting your hands on fake breasts? They won't feel real & so it's a turn-off to me.
Having a nice personality, a sense of humour and some functioning brain cells so you're good company - now that's attractive!

Do you have the money to throw on plastic surgery and would you want to go through a surgery (always a risk of complications)?

You talk as if it involved snapping your fingers but it’s not a one-time job, it is? Don’t women have to get them replaced eventually, the older ones leaked, etc?
I always wonder if 25 years from now the current implants will be talked about with the same horror stories as the 25 year old implants are now.

From what you’ve said, your husband sounds like a perfectly sensible man who loves the woman he married and isn’t hankering after her to insert two lumps of plastic into her chest to “improve” herself.

You sound a bit low in yourself tho. Do you go in for hair dye? I always feel better after whacking a box of Live XXL on my noggin.

he could also have a glam wife. But if he did want that, he would never say so.

That's cos he's not a twat!

If you want a boob job have one, just don't have one because your sister did or because you think you husband might like it. Want it for you so if anything goes wrong or you have side effects or don't like the extra weight you won't regret it.

Personally I think you have a lot of great things in your life going on to worry about a boob job 😀 neither do I think you would be thinking about this if your sister hadn't gone out and had it done.

You talk as if it involved snapping your fingers but it’s not a one-time job, it is?

I know it's not. That's part of the reason I would never do it for myself.

What's attractive about getting your hands on fake breasts?

Men are pretty weird. Some of them live for this shit.

So what if your husband likes bigger boobs?

He used to tell me that he prefers small ones but I don't think that's true. I guess I needed to believe that to feel attractive in bed.

My first boyfriend was an abusive twat who told me that all men prefer big boobs and mine were pathetic. He was obsessed with porn, glamour models and fake boobs. I guess it must have affected me a bit to have that as my first experience of "love". DH is the opposite of this twat. I really wanted to believe that he preferred small tits. I don't think he actually does though.

Most people don't think those who've undergone surgery for aesthetic reasons are glam or any other positive words.

A boob job doesn't give you large boobs, it gives you fake boobs.

I think all this nonsense is desperately sad.

Who cares if he does though op?? My partner may like blondes with tanned skin and long legs, which is the opposite of me. Would I change my whole appearance just to please him? No!!

And I wish people wouldn't use this thread to slag off those getting implants. I've had mine done for very personal reasons and never looked back. I don't feel fake or shallow in any way.

Maybe I'm shallow, but I am very physically attracted to DH and I want him to feel the same about me, as well as liking my personality.

But you have no reason to think he's not physically attracted to you as it's all in your head. The stereotype may be that guys want girls with big boobs but the reality is very different - different strokes for different folks and all that. Men don't all go for the same type of woman just as women don't all go for the same type of man.

I get it though. I have small boobs too and it does make me feel insecure at times, but ultimately, if my DP is only interested in the size of my boobs, I wouldn't be interested in him anyway. You are not just your breast size, or the size of your lips, or any other physical trait. Do not tear yourself apart comparing yourself to someone else because you think that's what your DH wants when he has given no indication of that. Nobody likes being told what they like/are attracted to, so you need to let it go and learn to live with what you've got and accept that he loves you how you are. He loves you and he married you knowing that you weren't a C-cup so why do you think that has suddenly changed?

Your sister has had botox, fillers and a boob job. I guarantee you that there will be people looking at her thinking it's a shame that she's messed with her face. Unless she has paid mega-bucks and gone to a really REALLY good plastic surgeon/clinic, then you will be able to tell that she's had facial work done. And once people notice that, then they inevitably wonder what else has been 'tweaked'.

Yes, there may well be some people who find fake boobs and an artificial look attractive. But there are plenty that don't. And your sister is on a slippery slope because now that she's started having work done, she'll have to continue in order to maintain the look. Roll forward 15 years and I'll bet my shiny pound that your natural face and figure will probably look much nicer than hers.

Get implants if you feel it will make you happy but don’t do it to please anyone else. If you feel it will make you happier and more confident then that’s ok. It’s a choice, not everyone will agree with implant but it’s not up to them, it’s up to you.

I wouldn't want to be with someone forever if they lacked something I really wanted.

So you would throw away a deep emotional connection, life experiences together, friendship etc for, let's say a 6 pack? Or someone with a cherry red porsche?

If you would, yeah, get a boob job. But it won't make you happy, because where does it end? What is perfection?

OP, some men really do like small boobs (just like some men like bigger or smaller women or blondes or brunettes) my DH likes small boobs, I have relatively small boobs, when I was pregnant and BFing they got much bigger and he really didn't like them (he only admitted that after I had finished BFing and they had gone back to a normal size) believe your husband and be happy with yourself - he married you because he loves you!

Op, if a bloke likes fake boobs, it isn't the fake boobs themselves he likes. It's the message 'I'm so insecure I'm prepared to undergo surgery to look more appealing to you, so I'll obviously be at your beck and call in bed, oh wonderful man.'

That's part of the point of boob jobs - to make you feel superior, and by definition, others inferior.

I would listen to your OH is I were you - he sounds like a man with his head screwed on.