Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

I've definitely reformed somewhat. I love to actually finish all the cosmetic stuff that I have stockpiled. Honestly I think YouTube beauty gurus etc brainwashed me into spending shit loads of cash on more and more pointless makeup! Most products are copies of each other. It's mindless greediness. I'm glad I'm over that particular obsession now.

I so agree with the awfulness of consumerism, not jut at Christmas but all year round. And then we inevitably have threads about how to de clutter the accumulated crap!

Our family all agreed years ago with great sighs of relief to only give gifts to under 18s. Mum is the only exception.

DH and I do not exchange gifts either. It simplifies everything down to actual enjoyment of Christmas stress free. I am sure we are not alone in this and for the record we are not Grinches or tight wads either.

I've just started offloading years worth of excessive shopping and it feels so good. I'm not even nearly making my money back but it's better than nothing. I bought stuff because I thought it would make me feel better, I just ended up living with mountains of shite I didn't really want or need. I bought 8 evening dresses despite literally never having an occasion to wear them, or even on the horizon. I'm dreading all the tat at Christmas, DD is the only child in a very large family and gets a sickening amount of presents, it's like people can't help themselves.

Completely and we are all too ‘nice’ to be honest with each other and say what a bad job we are doing of trying to save the planet and instead filling it with non recycling/biodegradable crap.

Ditto to everything on this thread. Experiences not things is my mantra.

I tried to ask my family for 'experiences not things' for a my DD last year but they still bought a whole load of plastic shite. How on earth do people get their message across without being thought a complete grinch or santimonious do-gooder?

Look at this shit! Today in Waitrose. Outrageous

That's utterly ridiculous packaging Moresugar. Surprised at them.

Wittow it’s hard! Everyone keeps not jokingly calling me Scrooge because my kids don’t want or need piles of plastic. Anything considered a big hit or heavily advertised as THE toy, is usually some gimmicky thing that nobody will play with ever again. I spend a fortune on my kids, and even more tome, as close family are well aware, but somehow they delight in calling me miserly and the Grinch. We do so much lovely stuff over the Christmas period and we all really enjoy it, the tat is just smoke and mirrors. Pointless, and will see the destruction of our beautiful world of people don’t change their greedy and vacuous ways. The sounds harsh, but that’s exactly what it is. Vanity, ego, greed. I am well aware that many people are carrying on not fully understanding their actions and consequences, but once you start to understand the damage we are doing - there’s no excuse to continue this lifestyle really. Listen, if a sweet little old lady bought my kid a mountain of playmobil for Christmas, I’m not going to scream in her face about orangutangs, but when you’ve explained your reasons and people are up to date with the devastation our greed has caused the planet - you can’t just say “but I LOVE buying presents for my nephew/DHC etc”. If they love those kids, they’ll stop fucking up the future for them, and do something nice with/for them as a gift.

Moresugar - that's obscene. I thought my wrapped swede and loose bananas in a bag were bad enough. I re-use as many pots as I can for freezer/packed lunches/boxes of Lego to be taken upstairs...

Totally agree. DS is 8 now and I hope will soon come to the end of the pointless tat stage. I do want him to have parcels under the tree, even though its hard to think of things he needs. Tokens mean nothing to him as he never goes to the shops anyway.

One positive step is to use brown paper for wrapping. It looks cool and hipster, and can be recycled, unlike the oceans of coloured paper that end up in our bins each year.

Every year our family vow to do better, have a more eco friendly Christmas but it's hard to pull off in reality when you really want to spend at least some money and celebrate.

Can anyone tell me why that garlic bulb needs two lots of packaging anyway? Mental

What an eye opener of a thread, thanks op! I've been concerned about this for a while now, even as I type I'm watching advertising scroll across mn offering me forty percent off gap!
I love shopping at Aldi, great value for money... Although hardly anything can be recycled its shameful!

Spot on, op.
Count me in for a no spend 19.

We are trying to.have a second hand christmas, I have 3 dc and I am trying to buy only pre loved stuff. I have an environmental job so I am pretty good with not buying tat and living a minimalist lifestyle.

My family however think I am bonkers and mean. Part of it is, its easy to buy stuff on Amazon and have it delivered with a tonne of packaging.

I would much rather they bought experiences and did them with the kids. Mil always does an experience type gift - that the kids love.

My son is having a whole class party and am considering asking for no presents but friends think this is terrible.

Right, I’m away with work for a few days but will start a No Spend 19 thread at the weekend and will link on this thread. Hopefully we can all motivate one another!

I’m so with this thread.

Nothing gives me more pleasure than reading about something I find interesting (geology, space, travel), enjoying nature or having a cuddle with my ds. I used to spend god knows how much on MAC makeup and clothes that I quickly fell out of love with, and buy endless tat to try and fill the void inside me. I realised that having grown up in a massively competitive consumerist family I’d been programmed to keep up with the Joneses. My mother would buy so many ornaments and vases for her house that it looked stuffed to the brim. Nothing was ever enough. Dh and I live within our means and I know that while I may be eyeing up something in a shop that it won’t make me as happy as feeling the sun on my face or playing a board game with my little family.

As someone else said, people are trying to fill the emptiness and insecurity with stuff. How will it ever end?

I love the minimalists blog and film, which is on Netflix. Really good and inspiring.

The ‘how many advent calendars have you bought’ is literally the polar opposite to this thread. I am slightly obsessed with beauty advent calendars - I’ve never bought one but I read all the threads about them. The ‘stuffness’ Of them is horrific. But slightly awe inspiring. Tiny bottles of potion.

That said, we are definitely passing through consuming products into consuming experiences. We shouldn’t kid ourselves that flying to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower is good for the planet. It is a consumption too.

I bought an M & S advent calendar - think it was their first one a couple of years ago. It was before I saw the light and it was a novelty. From all the stuff in it, which was branded, most I gave away or used once or twice and then threw away. Not proud of that and so wasteful on many levels.

A few years ago I was going through a bad time, I was overweight and felt I had no control. So to make myself feel better I bought stuff - jewellery, scarves, shoes, make up. Not clothes because I felt bad about my weight. I got into debt because I kept buying stuff. Since the bad times have gone, and I lost weight and no longer in debt, my need for stuff has completely disappeared. I am now the opposite. I like a minimalist lifestyle. Just not looking at reviews on the myriad of stuff I bought has saved me so much time. What the hell was I thinking. Massive penny dropped.

That is so true PersonaNonGarter, in fact a lot of "experiences" seem to be just thinly veiled excuses for buying things. For example camping is thought of a simple pleasure, back to nature, etc, but for many its an excuse to buy all the latest camping gear, use it once, then when they go again in three years time buy all new stuff. Skiing is another example of an experience that often involved more consumption of products than just staying at home going shopping.

@User5trillion my daughter celebrated her seventh birthday recently and we instigated (I instigated ) a no present party but if people really wanted to give something, 5 euro in a card was plenty... It was brilliant... We left the party with a few cards and that was it... No masses of wrapping paper and unnecessary gifts. The next day my daughter got to choose one gift from Smyth's and she was thrilled.

I couldn't agree more OP. It's been dawning on me for a while how sick I am of stuff. Christmas and birthdays are the worst for meaningless tat.

Now we have DD Christmas is going to be 10 times worse...

There are loads of these on YouTube. Kids opening gift after gift after gift. It makes me feel massively hugely depressed.

Omg breadfoam that video! It's disgusting isn't it.

There are hundreds of them on YouTube.
Just kids tearing through stuff while a parent films them and tries to get them to be excited about. The kids aren’t even that fussed I think, they are mainly bemused. I watched a couple of them (not all the way through) and it was just car crash viewing. I mean it’s just beyond excessive consumerism and showing off. And it’s sad. The parent isn’t really interested in the child - they just want a reaction for the camera. How present are they in that moment for their child? We take a few still photos on Christmas morning to show to relatives but I cannot imagine sitting and filming the entire thing. How offputting for the child. Also it must get a bit boring opening that much stuff.

It’s beyond crazy, how can anyone possibly need all those things? They don’t is the answer.

What you’re all expressing is anti capitalist sentiment. It’s not an individual fault (you, personally or your child, are greedy) it’s a fault with the system we live in.

Another thread talks about dissatisfaction with living in a terraced house even though that’s what they want.

We all feel the pressure of Christmas buying.

It’s because we live in a monetarised capitalist system- Christmas, Halloween, parenthood - they’re all another excuse for companies to

• make you worry/feel inadequate about something
• make you spend money to fix it