Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

I.e. - the problem is not that your (individual) mother in law won’t stop buying the kids plastic crap.

The problem is that our economy relies upon x amount of mother in laws buying x amount of plastic crap.

Chesty - you have confused Consumerism and Capitalism.

Capitalism has brought you medical advances, travel, cheap/free books and information, exponential growth in culture and music.

Consumerism bring the dancing plastic Christmas trees.

Yes, they are inter-related. No, capitalism hasn’t ruined our lives.

And all the 'haul' videos for both kids and grown-ups- terrible.

I let 4yo DS watch some of the toy videos as he doesn't have a clue what he'd like really and bloody hell the tantrums when I turned them off! And he isn't normally too fussed about screen time so it's definitely them.

This thread has reminded me - it's coming up to the time of year when I can enjoy watching Black Friday videos.

It's a shame in some ways to discourage consumerism - all those art students designing often horrendous new fashion clothes, what are they going to do? All those curtain and wallpaper designers. All those car designers. Shoes? I think we need to teach DCs to find something fulfilling (possibly artful or crafty or sporty) to fill their time and their reward needs.

OP I think you should start a rolling thread on how to be less consumerist.

User with random number...count me in to no spend 19. My DH and I haven't given eachother birthday or Christmas cards for years because we actually live together so can say the words! Why spend on completely useless cards when we can buy a nice bottle of wine instead! 😁 I'm really struggling with gifts and consumerism and tat. We don't need more stuff, so usually buy theatre tickets or a day out together instead of stuff to unwrap. Our DSs are adults but i usually buy gifts and fill a stocking with nice things, not cheap tat, but it still costs a bloody fortune. it has finally dawned on me that they probably dont need more socks and if they do they can buy their own ffs. This year it ends. They're getting vouchers for weekends away with their gfs. We've told them we don't want anything but that time spent with them is special to us so rather than giving us a voucher for a meal out ( which is lovely) we would rather they come with us too, so they are going to take us out for dinner. Their company will make it really special IYSWIM. I was horrified to read that people in the UK spent millions of pounds on pumpkins that either don't get eaten, or can't be eaten because they're a non edible variety. OMG, the monetary and environmental costs of growing them all must be huge. What the hell are we doing? I'm in a group that is putting together a Christmas food hamper for a family via the local food bank. The list of items and low level treats made me realise how much I take for granted, how much I have, and how lucky I am. Definately doing no spending19. The madness ends now. Thanks OP, this is a great thread.

Not going to lie, I do love shops like Tiger and Ikea, but when I buy things, it's because I truly love them and I tend to keep them for years. I try to buy second-hand as much as possible especially clothes and furniture.

Likewise, my husband and I don't buy each other gifts, we either buy something we've been looking at buying together or we buy concert tickets etc.

But seriously, if you think the UK is bad, Asia (the rich parts) is ten times worse. People seriously asked us why we hadn't bought a new fridge and TV when we moved - we'd only bought the previous ones two years before! But the expectation is that you buy new every time you move. I know people who never ever cook from scratch, it's take out every single night, and everyone thinks I'm mad for buying second hand clothes because they think that's only for poor/desperate people.

As more of the world gets richer, we're going to see a LOT more waste. Until 40-odd years ago, it was really only the west and a few Asian countries like Japan that could afford mass consumerism. Now, countries like China, India and Korea have a ton of spending power. African countries are getting there too, Indonesia is predicted to be the next Asian Tiger and they have a huge population...all of this is going to lead to more waste, more pollution. It's quite scary.

Oh me! Feeling a bit low at present and sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the bad stuff going on in the world. Current thoughts - elderly care crisis in U.K., NHS going down pot, lack of mental health care, animal cruelty, climate change, poverty here and overseas, child trafficking, trump, Brexit. Gah!!!! And then I see the bubble of social media and loads of narcissism and buy this, wear this and I want to cry!!

Really finding this thread interesting.

I have a view from both sides of this. I come from a family with limited means with a very 'waste not want not' approach, any spending is careful and my Mum is the queen of vouchers and coupons to save a few pennies. As a result I have a bit of a tendency to hoard items and overthink purchases.

On the other side I have married into a family who have more means (by no means rich, but expensive taste and DHs siblings earn good money) and in this family designer handbags, top of the range cars and watches costing £1000's are the norm.

I found it very overwhelming marrying into a family where such extortionate amounts were being spent, but over time I've learnt that money really does not buy happiness. DHs family are all lovely, good people who enjoy having the finer things and don't worry too much about the future.

As time has gone on, myself and DH both earn good money (my role is working predominantly with homeless people and people on v low incomes which I find ironic given that I am paid very well to do this job). We have a lovely home, DH has a great car (I'm not bothered about flash cars) and we have yearly holidays. However the one thing we want in the world is a child. We are fortunate that we can pay for IVF treatment but this doesn't account for the emotional turmoil that we live in and the fact that we are getting older every day. I find that in my 'dark days' I find myself trawling Instagram and buying a load of crap for the house we don't need, as if to fill a void. Truly we would give up everything we have to have a family of our own.

Apparently there's enough clothing in the uk to give every single person on the planet 2 items of clothing. Most of it poorly made in sweatshops, appalling. There was an article in our local paper asking people on the street what the oldest item of clothing they owned was - most people said 1-2 years. Wtf is wrong with people? Such pointless spending.

OP, I completely agree.

I am just about to turn 30 and feel I am just cruising through life with no real purpose. Wasting hours of my time online or doing stuff that serves no real benefit to anyone. I feel I have no meaning in my existence. Just wasting so much time

dayman I mean, all of us are just wasting our time. In 50 years, 99% of people will be forgotten.

So just do things that you enjoy or that you personally find fulfilling. Not that easy to find sometimes and it takes effort, but why waste your life being bored?

I've just bought a book called "unstuff your life" which I'm hoping will bring more clarity.

I know I have shopped to fill a hole in me. I now find me myself with enough "stuff" to last a lifetime in terms of clothes. I do have a tendency to hoard. When you've had fuck all you never know what's around the corner and you might need it... I have a friend who was Marie kondo mad - she'd never have to worry about where to find the cash to replace/buy anything she'd rid herself of

I've never understood the TV/new phone thing. I replace when they die which must make me somewhat of an oddity.

Nottoday

Oh yes and I'm utterly ashamed to have spent such a large portion of my time over the last 20 years online. So meaningless and unfulfilling.

We are doing the reverse advent calendar this year, I can't wait to do it with my kids.

I work in the environmental sector (trying to be vague) and the stuff that gets thrown out is ridiculous.

I would suggest as well as not buying tat, look at repairing stuff. See if your local area has a repair cafe where you can get electrical, sewing and bike repairs done for free (donation). Look into restart parties where you can learn to fix your own stuff.

Be part of your local env group such as transition network. Write to your local supermarket to see what you can do to get them to reduce plastic unnecessary packaging.

I am banning plastic tat from our house this year, mc donalds toys, kids magazines, party bags - it almost makes me cry, played with for 2 mins and 500 yrs plus to rot.

We are not powerless, be the change you want to see. ( but yes it's hard)

@NotToday1601 your post has truly moved me.

Great thread and this is what we've been doing to our lives this year. I woke up one day and thought I can't be doing with all the tat.

As for that video, I managed 5 minutes of it before my ears couldn't take anymore of the over enthusiastic shrieking, the mother I'm talking about.

It takes becoming conscious to make a change, unfortunately the consumer masses prefer to stay in the camp of ‘ignorance is bliss’ therefore to hell with the planet and all the damage we cause, it’s tragic

We are doing the reverse advent calendar this year, I can't wait to do it with my kids

What is the reverse advent calendar?

Spending part of the year (and soon moving permanently) to a small island where most things have to come in by ship, with the additional costs and around a three month wait, really tends to help make decisions about needs versus wants. And since there is no rubbish collection, suddenly that additional packaging is an actual problem, not just something else to go in the bin. No plastic wrapped tomatoes here.

I totally agree op, especially with the buying stuff all the time.

I am really trying so hard now not to waste money on unnecessary tat.

I was only thinking just now how the internet has unwittingly made our live so difficult in many ways.

It's no wonder so many people suffer with mental health problems when we spend half of our lives online.

I yearn for a simpler life but at the same time modern life is addictive.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-42069381

@BadLad

Here you go .