Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

I can really see the difference between me and my parents.

Me too. And I can also see the difference between us and MIL. Actually even in matters such as heating. We put it on when we feel cold but she wouldn't put it on unless it's absolutely freezing and you literally can't speak in her house either because you are shaking from cold. While I don't necessarily agree with her approach, the difference is stark even in the way her house is. She only has what she considers necessary. There is no clutter in her house and no excess.

Besides people recycling and buying the stuff they don't need, I really think manufacturers must be penalised for excessive packaging and not offering more options to consumers to be environmentally friendly. For example, last year, when we went on holiday to Turkey, I noticed in their supermarkets that there are options to buy a massive bottle of hand wash that you could then just use to refill smaller bottles. Same with washing up liquid. I am sure such options likely exist here too but they are not widely available. Why not? If they sold shampoo, shower gels, washing up liquids in massive 5L bottles, I would buy those and refill but I don't see any, so we keep buying small bottles, which is a total waste.

I also noticed in Germany they have recycling containers practically everywhere. People get paid for recycling glass too. Why is that not so widely available here?

DBIL/SIL live in Florida - hot sunshine most of the year. They use their tumble dryer because the regulations on the gated community (yeuch) where they live stipulate no laundry to be hung outside - utterly stupid and so very unnecessary. A line of clean washing blowing in the breeze is a lovely sight!

There are loads of instagram accounts where the 'influencers' encourage their followers to buy huge amounts of all sorts of tat - the latest in a long line of these is Mrs Hinch - her followers have been buying up zoflora and other cleaning products by the hundredweight - and all because Mrs Hinch says so. She's now monetising her account with all kinds of household stuff and her followers (sheeplike) are buying all kinds of stuff, because #mrshinchmademedoit.

If I see something in a shop I like the look of (which rarely happens because I hate shopping), I don't buy it and promise myself if I still want it in a week I'll buy it then - I never end up going back for it, usually because I've forgotten about it within 10 minutes of leaving the shop!

Raglan we do that regarding purchases. Also great to model with young DC, who are taken with something in a shop and so want to buy it now. We used to say 'Let's take a photo so we can remember about it when it is your birthday'. Most of the time the photo is enough, they just need someone to a validate that the bear was cute or the doll was pretty or whatever. When it comes to their birthday, they would like something else.

There's a no tat rule for presents in our house. Either consumables, books (preferably secondhand), something for the garden or a voucher for a treat or experience.

I was in a big city the other day with a bit of time to wander round the shops. The amount of stuff was sickening. Novelty this, novelty that, or something surrounded by more than its weight in packaging.

It needs to stop. Right now. For the sake of our grandchildren's grandchildren.

I have bought my friends a secondhand book each for christmas this year as I want to be more charitable and less consumerist. But I'm a little anxious about how they'll take it!

Shopping as an activity has always baffled me but my latest bug bear are these ott Advent calendars from M&S, Nars, Mac, Soap n Glory n the like. Enormous cardboard boxes with drawers of travel sized bottles of stuff you may not like for £200 or more. I don't get it.

Totally agree with you. I’m buying my dc some second hand books while DP is desperately trying to find more stuff for them - playmobil mostly, of which we already have tonnes. All the family want ideas too and aren’t happy with low value suggestions.

My DSM is a bit of a hoarder and I think it's given me a horror of having too much stuff so I try and minimise what I bring into the house and declutter regularly. My DSis is the same but she's properly minimalist (has a capsule wardrobe etc.) My DM and DSF have a house and attic crammed with stuff and I doubt most of it is used. I'd much rather spend money on going to new places than 'things'.

Has anyone read about the Swedish death cleaning thing (where you consider what your relatives will be left to deal with after you die and declutter and sort accordingly)? A bit morbid I guess but I've always been quite practical so I kind of like the idea.

Had this conversation with a friend today, between us we have lots of kids, and although never been big on buying tat for the sake of it - both of us are keen on having a scaled back Christmas this year. We were talking about buying local as possible food only for dinner, ie for us grown in the south east. Kids will get things off of course, but a bike and a stocking are amazing enough. They don’t need a “main present” and medium presents, a Christmas Eve box, a stocking, then a mountain of shit that they don’t need from relatives who actually we don’t want to feel pressure to but for our children. I’ve already put out a “please don’t buy crap” type of round robin out to the few people and to be honest I’m not bothered if they’re miffed or annoyed and are determined we should all buy plastic shit. I’m not doing it. No more. I’m not conforming, and I’m not watching my kids perpetuate a throwaway culture. I can’t turn back time and undo all of my previous rampant consumerism, but I’m determined not to let my kids repeat history.

Ffs the typos in that post! The tat has addled my brain....

I got you thewar .

And well said.

I'd like to join a no-spend 19 if it starts. I'm having a no-spend month and ... It's not going so well (books tbf).

Just had my Sainsbury's delivery and it made me feel quite queasy unpacking. Every single damned thing (except tins) comes in plastic.

My Xmas stuff will be doing their 10th year... How embarrassing! 😄 For me, the older my stuff is the more value I attach to it as it has, quite literally, travelled through life with me.

So relieved to find others feel the same. I’m so fed up of stuff. We live in a small 2 bed house and with DD’s toys, it just feels like too much. Dreading Christmas as I know people will want to buy stuff for her. Where possible, I’ll ask for wooden toys, vouchers and next size up clothes.

Mind you, our kitchen is 35 years old and we’re finally looking at replacing it.

Totally agree.

There is very little “stuff” I really want now (mostly board games as they provide hours of family time)

I hate “Christmas shops” and the likes despite adoring Christmas

I found it rather galling for example when in McDonald’s seeing they were now keeping straws behind the counter as part of the plastic reduction drive... fair enough but how does that marry up with happy meal toys?!

Completely agree.

A few years ago DH and I went to New York just before Christmas. Instead of buying presents for each other that year we went to a few shows, did some special trips, ate in some amazing restaurants etc. It was SO refreshing not spending all of December racking my brains trying to think of something to buy him/something to ask him for, which would just get left to clutter up the house anyway. We don't bother getting each other anything now and I love it.

Totally agree about having too much stuff
Just too much of things that we don’t need
I was planning to buy a new pair of jeans, but realised that I have fifteen pairs of jeans and they are all in good condition
Really don’t want or need anything
I don’t do Facebook,Instagram or Twitter, but still feel that I should be going something more useful in my spare time

I agree totally OP.
Its meaningless.
But we're being advertised to all the time...you need this...you want this....your life will be better....people will admire you...you'll be superior to others.....if you buy this shite.....
It's all nonsense.

I totally agree - regarding "stuff" and consumerism at least. I don't worry so much about wasted time - my time is, at least, mine to waste, unlike the natural resources of the planet.

On the plus side, my consumerist weaknesses are horses and dogs. I do like to buy more of these than I "need" - but once I have them, I do like to keep them for the duration of their natural lives. And, to add to that, having paid for them, I then spend all my money paying for farmers to grow fields of hay and straw. This means I have nothing left at the end of the day to buy plastic tat! Our cars are ancient (one has long since legally been able to join me in the pub for a pint), my phone is old and second hand, and our tv is pushing on for 20 years old too.

I'd like to add chickens into the mix, and grow my own vegetables too. Plus a few sheep, for knitting jumpers. I'd still need to buy jeans though! (I'm not entirely serious - I know it's not this simple )

Argh it's so hard isn't it. My house is reasonably minimalist but I do still feel pressure for 'stuff'. I'm on a bit of a kick at the moment where every time I run out of something or something needs replacing (toothpaste, cleaning stuff, beauty stuff etc) I look for an Eco friendly, non plastic alternative to buy instead. We're currently trying out bamboo toilet rolls, bamboo toothbrushes, a toothpaste that comes in a little glass jar and I think some bamboo ear buds are next on the list as we're running low. It makes me feel good to know we're trying but it definitely is more effort and expense to find alternative products that don't just contribute to plastic waste.

But then like you've said, Christmas is on its way and we will inevitably end up with a load of toiletry gift sets that we don't need from relatives that don't really know is but feel like they have to get us something. It's like fighting against a rising tide.

I agree. We have a house full of stuff I'm slowly getting rid of things we simply don't need. I mainly buy second hand anyway.

On the issue of connection - I dont wasn't gifts from family who think it makes up for not seeing us. It doesn't.

My idea of a lovely Christmas is People I love, nice food and wine and not the need to open stuff😏

I want to live in a world where there are lots of books - so I buy books.

I have made lists of my makeup and I use it up without buying more - except necessities like toothpaste, shampoo, soap and makeup remover, when I run out. BTW, since I started to use soap, the need for body creams and lotions has practically disappeared, so I am not buying more for the time being.

I have sorted out my wardrobe, and I am not buying any more clothes for a while. All good classics, and with added scarves, earrings and necklaces I could last a long time.

Lately I have thought a lot about my things - what do I need myself, and what I have bought because somebody/something (ads?) told me to. And how stupid I have been. Oh well, a learning curve perhaps.

If there's a thread of no-buy 2019, I'm signing right in.

I think a lot of people are reaching the same stage. That David Attenborough programme really woke people up to the damage we are doing to the planet and living creatures by our use of plastic. But it is not just that, it is everything. All those bloggers and influencers trying to get us to buy pointless rubbish. If you look at skincare bloggers like Hirons and Hughes, how on earth are they trying all these products. They recommend them, then a few week later something else is the bee's knees. All these convoluted skin care regimes that involve lots of scary sounding ingredients, if we were to use the whole gamut of products our faces would be as big as the moon.

I went in Superdrug the other day, they have reorganised their makeup into flatter displays. I have always enjoyed shopping for make up but it is just too much. The displays are vast, the products are bewildering in their quantity and purpose. It's too much. There is a thread on here about Beauty Advent calendars, somebody asking how many they were buying for themselves. People are buying 2,3,4 for themselves. Madness, greedy. I nearly posted to that effect on that thread but what is the point? They have been well and truly sucked in to buying more and more shite.

The prevalence of Big Yellow Storage and the like is testimony that we are filling up all the space in our abodes and having to rent extra space for the overspill.

I have membership to the National Trust and other outdoorsy subscriptions. I would suggest buying these as gifts. Even if it is raining as long as you have got waterproof shoes and coat on, you can have a walk in the woods, and a toasted tea cake at the end of it. It keeps you out of shops and that mindless consumerism. (I am a reformed consumer. I buy what I need these days but still have stockpiles of stuff to use up from when I was trying to buy a lifestyle that I am never going to have, nor do I want it.)

Thanks for this thread. I feel better for getting this out.

I love this thread and for what it's worth, feel exactly the same