Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

AIBU to expect to see my new bf more than once a week? I'm 48 he's 55. I have grown up kids he doesn't have any. We both work full time. He's OK to see me one night a week at his flat.. We don't always have sex... But he always comes up with some reason not to spend weekends together. We've only been seeing each other for 8 weeks. Surely I'm not being unreasonable wanting to spend more time with him? Thoughts please

Sorry folks wrong thread lol

I refuse to feel guilty about owning tat and watching shite TV. I appreciate where I live, what I have etc and I do not intend to feel guilty about any of it.

Completely agree with you op! I hate all the pointless crap, most of which the dc acquire! I've cut right back on what I buy the last couple of years, not just at Christmas but all year round. It worries me how much of this crap will soon be in landfill, and the film WallE will soon become reality!

Mirri
I think you are depressed! I might have been sad or heartbroken briefly but my 38 years so far have been filled with love and wonder and a loving family. I hope the same for my kids.

Totally agree op by the way! We mostly do theatre trips and experiences and not ‘stuff’

I've got a bit of a free day today and I am going to spend it sorting out our Christmas. That is, I am going to sort out what I am donating to the food bank and another charity, who I am NOT sending Christmas cards to and re writing my present list.

I actually ended up in an argument with one of my family yesterday. I just lost it (whole other thread by me on it). They don't spend Christmas with me, its too much bother for them but they expect a massive present. I told them I wasn't playing this game anymore and I mean it.

So, I am off today to rewrite what Christmas looks like for us. I am literally hitting the reset button. It is gong to upset a few people but I'm done with this BS.

I'm on a (slow) decluttering push as I've lived in the same house for 20 years and although we have lots of space (five bedrooms, attics and a large cellar - it's a big Edwardian terraced house), there has been a tendency to keep things purely because we have the space.
I've got rid of loads of books - I can always get them from the library if I want to read them again. A huge cull of makeup, just how many variants of peachy nude lipstick do I need? It was a huge relief to get rid of DD's cuddly toys. She kept a couple of favourites, we then passed someone on to babies/toddlers in the family and the rest to charity shop. I have just about halved the number of clothes I have. Any I do buy now are usually second hand but quality. I just sold three leather handbags that I never use. My next challenge is unused kitchen equipment. last
I think the urge to pare things down. has partly come after the deaths of my father and mother daughter in law, and I having to clear their houses. To be fair, my dad had downsized to a flat which made it much easier, but it was still daunting. I don't want my daughter to have to do a full house clearance like that. In
I don't like shopping as a pastime. It makes me feel sick. And otherwise ok colleague moaning she was skint but then blowing money on £500 boots and £1000 handbags made me so frustrated when she'd in theory be fine if she didn't spend like an idiot.

Ignore the daughter-in-law!

I really don’t like my job. In fact I would be quite happy never working again.

Because I hate my job it has helped me to stop buying stuff. I know my hourly rate and everytime I look at stuff I really don’t need I work out how many hours in my hideous work it has taken me to have enough money to buy the thing, and invariably it puts me off!

The more you don’t buy stuff the less you want to. Its a habit just like any other. It’s a habit that can be broken like any other.

I've just phoned my cousin and told her that we're not doing presents any more. I'm phoning my brother tomorrow to tell him the same. There are charities which support issues close to our family so they will benefit from now on.

I'd rather contribute to finding a cure for a horrible disease than have an overpackaged set of gunk that I'll never use, or a voucher for a shop to get yet more stuff. I'm officially Post Stuff.

I've bought some recycled and compostable brown paper for wrapping presents. I'll use cotton yarn to tie them and maybe cut up some old cards to make tags.

Aside from Christmas, I'm on a mission to take 100 things to charity shops. Up to 37 at the moment, with another bag ready to go on Friday.

Middling mum, you sound like you are totally over it. I feel the same. In the last few days I have had no end of junk mail despite being on a no junk list. I have got 2 £10 vouchers to redeem in 2 shops when you spend over £30. I am really pleased with myself as I just gave it away. I don't need any more stuff.

Gweipo, yes totally over it! I'd be happy to miss out Christmas altogether but suspect that wouldn't go down well with a couple of family members.

I had a catalogue in the post today - there wasn't a single thing in it which was actually necessary in any shape or form. Just yet more stuff.

Another pointless example of generating a “need” - subscription boxes. I had an email this morning about a buddy box subscription for self-care. The idea is lovely, for people with mental health issues, so that you get the monthly reminder to look after yourself. But it is essentially just more tat. (They have things like eye masks, lip balms, candles, postcards etc). Loads of companies are doing these and preying on FOMO - so you see the previous box on social media and wish you’d been part of it, or you see the build up to the next box and feel sucked into buying it.

Someone above mentioned the Pudsey merchandise - I had similar thoughts about the Remembrance merchandise. DD came home from school saying that they were also selling rulers/pencil sharpeners/etc. Just stick your pound in and have a sticker (pins not allowed in school for the traditional poppies) no need to buy stuff. Are people really incapable of donating just for the sake of it, so you have to “buy” something?

You really can't blame the British Legion for going all out this year. This is peak poppy year and they were right to capitalise on that. I'm using a poppy umbrella that was bought for me five years ago, people often admire and ask about it so it's definitely fulfilling its intended marketing purpose as well as keeping me dry all year round.

Subscription boxes are always a shocking let down filled with tat. I'll go out on a limb and say exceptions are coffee, bacon, gin and cheese as those are actually household essentials.

Gweipo I got a £10 voucher for Boden yesterday. Looked hard but not one single thing I thought was "worth" the 30 spend in the kids' section and God knows I don't need any more stuff.

I wore the same poppy this year as I have for the past two or three years. It's still in a good enough condition. I have been putting money in the BL box each year though.

I have an Accessorise voucher which was given as a gift. No idea what to spend it on, there's nothing in there I need or want. I'm thinking of buying some gloves or something and donating them to the Syrian refugee project in our town.

Is Pudsey the one where they have the TV show in the evening and all the performances? You'll have to excuse my ignorance - I don't have a TV licence and the appeals all blend into one. I find it staggering that they have to raise so many millions. I wonder what all the money actually goes on.

I now need to decide whether to post Christmas cards. I absolutely love sending Christmas cards but the stamp cost... I don't know now

Interested, I have been a big buyer of stuff.

I do enjoy shopping and spending, but like most on here I'm sick to the back teeth of stuff, pointless crappy stuff that nobody really needs.

I'm wondering what you replace it with? Shopping can almost be a bit of a hobby so what do you do instead? Do you spend money on days out, save up? Donate?

Yes, Alpine, Pudsey is the Chikdren in Need mascot and it'll be all over the tv this Friday, I think.

Thank goodness I don't have a TV licence!!

I don’t have an issue with children in need raising money - companies doing sponsored events, Chris Evans like him or loathing doing the auction on the radio so people buy experiences not tat etc. But in recent years the merchandise side seems to be taking over. And how much of that will end up on landfill. Don’t mind the biscuits (if they are doing them in Greggs this year) as that’s edible and not contributing to waste, you’d buy a doughnut or whatever anyway.
And the money does go to a lot of good causes - I’ve seen local charities benefit from children In Need funding.

Great thread everyone - I bought a few books in WHSmith last weekend which I have since vowed will be my last book purchases. I have a great local library which I re-joined on Monday, so made a pact that all my reading will be done through this.

I don't browse about shops as a eg weekend retail experience. I look in charity shops though if I'm passing. Most of my clothes I buy online (eBay, online sales) & get essentials @ Sains.

My sister keeps giving my bday and Xmas presents that just consist of 2-3 items that I end up charity donating several months later, think candles, scarves not my colour, toiletries too heavily scented etc.

Having read the above, I'd seriously think about a no-buy 2019 other than necessities (underwear etc).

As much as I am reducing buying tat etc I will always buy books, they are not landfill to me. They are the golden thread running through my life and one of my main pleasures in life is going to bookshops. Occasionally I buy second hand, or for commuting/travel I download on e-reader, but I love buying new books. I keep very few when I have read them but don't consider it a waste as I pass on to others either in person or via charity shop. I love libraries, they are important hubs for the community, but a rummage through a bookshop wins for me every time.

@tatgalore We do a lot of free toddler-friendly activities at the weekend - trips to the library/museum/playground; bike rides, swimming and walks, sometimes trips to towns and cities but more for sightseeing than shopping. I find shopping with DD in tow quite stressful so often do any essential shopping in my lunch break during the week. There’s so much you can do with your time that isn’t traipsing round the shops!