Aibu to think everything is such a waste?

[AlpineButterfly]

I went into a home type shop this morning. There were fluffy blankets, ugly mirrors, elephant pictures,.dancing Santa's, colourful rugs, word signs. So much stuff. So much tat.

I'm right now babysitting a friend's boy. The telly is on. My god, the rubbish. Adverts, trashy tv. What a waste of time.

How much of life is a waste of time and materials? I'm right now on MN, also a.waste of time.

I wouldn't even know what to do to stop the waste of time and materials. We do buy mostly second hand but... I don't know. I'm not even able to articulate myself properly right that second

Totally agree. There is definitely a lot of unnecessary waste in all so called developed economies. We all keep buying stuff we don't really need. Most of that stuff carries excessive packaging, which only ends up in the bins. And when you think about all the stuff that's never bought in the shops, the scale of this issue becomes even more scary. H&M, for example, was caught burning mountains of clothes after they claimed they donate a lot of it to charities. And I am certain H&M is not the only such brand.

Food is another big area of waste.

Few years ago, I took my son to Disneyland in America. They had gas torches on all day in blistering heat and brilliant sunshine. Why? Nobody could even see them even if they did look because the sun was so bright all day!

Also, my sister lives in California and the weather there is dry and sunny most of the year. Yet none of her neighbours dry their washing outside. They all use tumble dryers at home!

Western world of developed countries is incredibly wasteful. There are small things that many are already doing but it's a massive problem. And I don't think one that will be resolved any time soon sadly.

That’s actually quite worrying / unexpected re Californians using tumble dryers all the time! I wonder why that is... I always thought of them as the less wasteful / more eco friendly state.

I’m thinking of joining you. I just mentioned upthread actually, but couldn’t remember your username smile.

its the highly original (and good for anonymity) user+random number. Youre not supposed to be able to remember it so I forgive you . I will name change back at some stage but I use the forum so much I am sometimes in danger of being recognised IRL!

To the pp getting rid of hardly worn baby clothes. You are not throwing them away. If they are given to charity or a friend then they will be used again.

I think it’s probably because electricity is cheap in America and it’s easier and quicker to throw it in the dryer.

The man that fitted it said his wife has a new kitchen fitted every two years.

Probably because she gets it fitted free. But still. We've just had our kitchen refitted and it's been a bloody nightmare with all the upheaval, mess, dust, stuff in boxes. The previous kitchen was at least 15 years old, possibly 20, and this one will be staying until it falls to bits too.

It's like the people who change their entire Christmas decorations every year to fit in with whatever the retailers have deemed fashionable that year.

So, so wasteful. Just because you can spend the money doesn't mean you should.

@e1y1 - That famous quote was Edward Norton in Fight Club

Thanks @seventhgonickname that’s what I thought.

I'm cringing thinking of the plastic rubbish that my children will receive for Christmas. I'm grateful that DM loves traditional wooden toys which are fabulous for imaginative play with endless possibilities. Unfortunately, my MIL and SIL love plastic toys that do one thing. I have endless stacks of plastic things with buttons. I feel like sending them back to the manufacturer with a note saying "my children are now experts at pressing buttons, what else have you got?"

As for walking round the likes of BM and Home Bargains, the amount of cheap crap is astounding! Do people really chop and change what goes in their house so often?

What I don’t get is that me and most people I know - just like the people on this thread - are getting fed up of stuff. I can really see the difference between me and my parents. My parents hoard stuff, scour the sales for more stuff, give piles of stuff as gifts every Christmas and birthday.

But yet I feel as though tat is getting more and more available. Unicorn everything, pig everything, pineapple everything, in every shop. Poundland, tiger, Oliver Bonas, paperchase - really all just purveyors of useless crap (for the most part).

This thread is depressing. DH is about to become a full time student so we'll be doing no spend for the next five years

Arnold Schwarzenegger said if you sleep for 6 hours a night then you have 18 hours a day available to you. What is your excuse for not achieving what you want to achieve. It's embarrassing to think about it like that

I had to get quite firm with my DM and ask her please not to buy so many things since they simply were not getting used. We literally had years, even when the DC were at peak toy enjoyment stage where Christmas would come around again and certain toys bought the year before were still in sealed boxes.

Its an appalling waste. I'm looking forward to actually using stuff that we've had hanging around and not buying anything at all.

Might start a separate thread to see whether I can get others on board with No Spend 19

Yeh totally agree. We need a big movement on not buying "stuff". All the unnecessary crap for Christmas. We need to value the world, explore it, get the tv's off and stop filling our lives with junk

YANBU. People 'browsing' in shops for stuff they don't need. How sad is that?!

I will have to buy some new jeans as mine have holes in them, but that's due to wear. I am trying not to buy much in late 2018/19 as we are moving back to Uk, so we need to declutter loads, eat through the food stocks in the freezers and cupboards, and drink the wine in the cellar.

I only want edibles or craft stash for Christmas (though there is a handbag I've wanted for 10 years and as it's our last Christmas in belgium, I might ask for it), and I do have a Kindle 99p book addiction, but books are expensive here, so that's my excuse.

I will be buying ds some clothes as his are student wear and as he will be hopefully joining the world of the employed at some stage, he will need suitable clothes for that. I do buy in sales though, and from places where the clothes last.

God, yes, the changing of Christmas decks every year for a new "theme". The theme is always Christmas!

We have an artificial tree that wasn't expensive and cherished baubles, many of which are from my own childhood. I might add a new one sometimes. It's not a Grinch thing either, I like the tradition of seeing the same things each year.

Always amazed what people put up for sale on local FB sites!

I agree.
Good to meet you all. I feel a bit like a skinflint/killjoy in RL.

Eg I am quite happy for DD 14 use our house to host parties eg hallowe'en but I told her that if she wants themed decorations she can buy them out of her pocket money or make them.

So she told her friends to bring whatever they had to make our house look spooky! I'm very proud of her. I just hope none of them bought anything deliberately.

Recycling stuff is only part of the equation - we need to be more ready to buy secondhand stuff. I'm trying to choose secondhand for DD's clothes over new - it helps that you can buy bundles on eBay cheaply, and her nursery clothes get very stained. I've been volunteering at a project that matches donated baby clothes and gear with families in need and the volume of new, barely used stuff is staggering. Donating it might make us feel better, but did we really need to buy new in the first place?

When I see news articles about a shop that has declining sales my first thought is often "good, people are buying fewer things". I don't understand how businesses expect sales to go up and up and up continually.

I always try to translate (larger) purchases into months or years of my life spent working.

For example a new expensive car equals x months of my life spent working in an office building spreadsheets.

That is usually enough to realise I don't REALLY need (or want) the shiny new thing.

DH is also not very materialistic, and we're now fortunate enough to have paid off the mortgage on our flat (which is much smaller then our salaries would allow if we stretched ourselves).

We're about to turn 40 and both looking at potential career changes. It's such a relief knowing we don't have a huge mortgage or any other debts and can allow ourselves to take some risks.

My DP was asking me last night regarding what we should do this weekend as the weather is looking rubbish (we usually go to National Trusts/walks/playground). I suggested visiting a nearby garden centre if the rain is really heavy, locally it's famous for its Xmas displays and that would easily keep Dd entertained for an hour or two. DP went on a bit of a tangent about who actually buys the decorations as once you have some, you have some so surely you don't need anymore e.g. the display is a waste of time for the centre. He looked at me like I was pulling his leg when I explained some people buy new decorations each year.

My dm has a £50 budget per grandchild and always wants to know what to buy. We suggested two toys (plastic but dd will love them and she doesn't have anything similar) but they come to £20. She wants to spend another £30. No amount of 'dd hasn't asked for anything /need anything' is working. She won't buy vouchers/gift experiences because dd is 3 and neither her nor dd (apparently) will get any pleasure opening up a voucher. She wants to buy clothes, I've said no as Dd already has too many (we get bombarded with hand me downs and sale items that PIL buy). DM is getting quite annoyed because she MUST spend £50. I've said it's not necessary but if she isn't going to stop going on about it dd would have more fun with £30 coins to put in her money box but I doubt that will be given to her, I expect dd will end up with £30 of tat because my parents are in the quantity over quality brigade.

One thing I am noticing now I have dcs is how parents seem really keen to move on to the next stage toy/TV shows ASAP. My dd is happy with her wooden bricks, peppa pig characters and has just started to play with duplo. She likes watching cbeebies. Most of her friends of a similar age are being bought for Xmas (if not already have) lego, sylvanians, LOL dolls, scaletrix, barbies, playmobil - toys that I assumed were for a few years older. They are being encouraged to watch CbbC and being told certain toys/TV shows are too babyish. The consumption here seems to be coming from parents trying to find a toy for a 6 year old because the 6 year old already has every type of toy. This is part of the reason I'm in no rush to buy something older otherwise what do I buy when dd is 6?

Even stuff you send to charity shops will eventually end up in the rubbish so you aren't really dealing with it. Except clothes which are 'recycled' but I'm suspicious of how much of this stuff they Can recycle then of course they don't recycle duvets and other polyester stuff.

I'm becoming disenchanted with TV and all the series - there is only so many variations of innocent victim (usually a woman) falls victim to psychopathic nutter, psychopathic nutter has equally evil and cruel buddies. After several episodes of story building and horrendous killings or torture, the cop gets their man, then move on to series 2.....

What fulfilling stuff could I be doing with this time?

I wonder if some of it (certainly not all) is down to general happiness levels too. The two people I know who are the biggest consumers of "stuff" are my DSis and one of my best friends.

DSis is single with two children, one of whom has an ASD and is hard work. No support from their father at all. She is desperate to find love and spends a fortune on clothes, shoes, make up, lotions and potions, handbags and going out for meals etc.

Friend is married but no longer in love with her DH and has a massive issue with being liked and popular. Gets very anxious if she is not invited to every social event and could not possibly be seen wearing the same thing twice. Would feel judged if she didn't constantly update her car, house etc. Gets a lot of validation from being seen to have a "perfect life".

My happier friends seem to be far less concerned with buying things.

I don't know. I might be wrong and there might be no link at all.

There might be something in that user. My late mum’s best friend had a son with some very challenging behavioural and mental health issues. She used to buy useless but beautiful things by the dozen every weekend.

If you do start a no spend 19 thread let me know!

Maybe in the ethical living section? Don’t know. Might get some support there.

I am up for that user
Op, totally agree with you, any suggestions for gifts for little ones to open on Christmas Day? Was thinking wooden yo-yos and maybe books.
We have lots of lovely toys as the eldest is 9 and they have lasted really well, but I would prefer to limit the clutter if possible......