Grown men pretending to be children

[Happypie]

AIBU to be very worried that safeguarding has broken down in England. I have worked in several schools in London where some of the newly arrived “children” were grown men. We have complained to social services and they admitted that the pupils were blatantly men but there was nothing they could do.
These men are being put into classes and foster homes with actual children.
We do not allow adults without DBS checks to have unfettered access to children unless they pretend to be children.
Head teachers hands are also tied. The only way to change things seems to be through parent complaints like in the story below. This is not safeguarding. www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-suffolk-46070239

If friends stbexh was supposedly so concerned about his wife and children in his home country (marriage in his country isn't recognised in the UK)

Why did he marry my friend and stay married to her for nearly 20years if he thought so much of her and missed her

All his brothers have done similar.

All have wives in their home country but have UK born women they are married to in this one.

Zzzz you need to open your eyes.

Friends husband and his brothers have worked from the moment they set foot in the UK.

There are networks of their fellow friends/relatives/countrymen who have businesses that they work in.

Given stbexh is supposedly a poor asylum seeker who couldn't supposedly work for the first 5 years and has no he marital assets are well into the 7 figures

Was trying to say neither him nor friend have no qualifications the marital assets are well into 7 figures

I know many many refugees zzzzz.

Some genuine who you can believe their accounts and some who you wonder if they think you are stupid.

As a member of a family of refugees who spent a childhood hearing the stories about how people escaped you get a 6th sense for spotting stories that don't sound right.

I’m sorry I think it’s you zzz who think all refugees are all genuine people, they’re not. We had a refugee who had been earning a fortune trafficking other supposedly refugees into the UK.

And there’s this scam going on, women are becoming objects to be bought and sold. I know it’s always gone on but never to this level in the UK www.google.com/amp/s/www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/eastern-european-crime-gangs-target-13011837.amp

I work with young people many of whom are refugees.

I'm not getting my information from friends, gossip or the media.

Some of them are clearly manipulating the system. However, the vast majority are not. The vast majority are deeply traumatised individuals who miss their family. The vast majority are people to be pitied with stories that would break your heart.

The vast majority are unclear about their age and don't understand the system and have major cultural misunderstandings about how to work with the system. Being open and honest with people in authority is something they are very uncomfortable with because in their experience that can lead to prison, conscription and/or death.

I don't know all their stories in detail because we are trained not to ask. I am an educator I can't cope with the burden of their trauma.

It's nice to know MN is filled with people who, while not working with refugees and who have no involvement with the system are significantly better and more experienced than those of us who have been working with the situation for years and years.

I don't know all their stories in detail because we are trained not to ask

Along with "we can't do such-and-such because it's unethical", this seems to be a recurring theme. Nobody's suggesting we become like some of the hellholes genuine refugees flee from, but I wonder if those who think believing should be the default pause to think just how weak this makes us look - as well as the attraction it offers to those who are dishonest?

And again, that's those who are dishonest, not an assumption that all are. IME most are capable of realising that people are various, and that any large group of people will involve very different motivations and the behaviour that goes with them

We are trained not ask because we are educators not social workers. We have no training to deal with the horror. The stories I do know keep me awake at night.

I can't tell you but I wouldn't anyway because you don't want to know some of the things in my head. And they didn't even happen to me I just held them while they cried - oh and I'm not supposed to hug them either.

Believing and remaining in the U.K. is absolutely not the default. I've had this argument on threads before I know lots of young men (no women) who have been sent back. Posters don't believe me.

I can think of several young men I taught recently who have been sent back to Kabul despite having no surviving family there.

These adults in schools will reach eighteen and if the claim is bogus they WILL be sent back.

The safeguarding issues surrounding this could be dealt with if proper provision was made.

We are trained not ask because we are educators not social workers

That makes perfect sense, but I was thinking more of an overall approach than any particular profession

I realise these aren't definitive, but the mindset of the "advice centre" I mentioned, together with countless other examples on here and elsewhere, suggest an attitude of "we can't say / do THAT!!" which, given the issues involved, seems risky at best

Unfortunately we do lots of things the public don't know about. Children with disputed ages removed from foster care with no notice - I estimated they were 15 - they had claimed to be older because they thought they would be treated as adults. Child in tears as he had to move into a hostel.

Young people separated from friendship groups - you form a tight bond in the back of a lorry crossing Europe.

Young people being sent to detention centres - they pick them up at dawn. Yes dawn raids to put 'aliens' in detention centres - does that make anyone else feel queasy?

We are a long way from a soft touch.