AIBU to be sick of privileged, older white men - join my tiny rant!

[windygallows]

Yup I'm probably unreasonable but I just want to put out there how sick I am of working with privileged, older white men - 40 plus and often 'posh'.

They dominate the upper echelons of the organization I work in as well as all the organizations I liaise with. Some are very good but many aren't due their seniority nor are they that smart - but they are well spoken and confident so whatever they say comes across as read. Their smuggery is driven by their high self regard and knowledge that they are 'where they belong'.

And despite their seniority they are often mollycoddled and supported by (usually female) PAs and completely enabled by wives at home who have been supporting them for 20+ years to the point that they take all the support for granted. They are so enabled that all they have to do is go to work and everything else is sorted for them - it's kind of a carefree oblivion they hold and thus they are completely oblivious to the challenges that others (e.g. women) face in their day to day lives.

I see this male privilege everywhere and everyday. In my boss who is completely self absorbed and with a family set up that enables and supports the fact that he is Number one. In other work scenarios, like when I was interviewed last week by a panel of important men + one woman from HR brought in to balance out the panel. I see 'important white men' driving fast in their cars, beeping up behind me in the fast lane as they need to go to their important meeting. Male privilege is everywhere and am sick of it.

From age 50 (my age) the number of women in the workforce starts to drop significantly and I'm wondering if it's because they're just sick of working with the men I describe!

I can't be the only person to feel this way. Please join me in this tiny rant!

I agree with you op, although where I work (civil service) there's also a definite class prejudice.

I have had other people react with shock when I say that out of my class of 30 at secondary school only 4 of us went to uni. What did the rest do they gasp?

Even better is showing our Year 6 photo where I can move along the line and say 'he's dead, he's dead, he's in prison, he's a drug dealer, she's got 7 kids, he's doing a stretch for armed robbery ' I'm a source of morbid fascination- but it gets annoying after a while.

Even one of my team said to me "I can't believe you're the head of the team with only an undergrad degree. I've got a MSC and MBA'. He is most put out about that 

@CalamityJane10
Because she’s speaking from a U.K. point of view, sorry to break it to you, but most men in power are white, I would imagine her op would be adjusted if she was in India for example. That’s literally the least thought out and intelligent comment I’ve heard in a long while.

It depends entirely on how you measure superiority. The ability to organise to such an extent that you can project military force across the globe, and the development of technologies that enable such organisation is commonly regarded as one measure. We know lots about Rome, less about Carthage because one was superior to another.

The role of slaves is acknowledged and well known but it doesn't change the fact that they were organised and controlled to build something that was conceived by your evil white man. He was the primary agent in it coming into being, not a black man or a woman.

The reasons for this are interesting to discuss, and I agree it has nothing to do with intellectual superiority, however my point was just that the reason white men are in positions of power is because historically they built this society. They still do maintain the infrastructure far more than women do. Our society is changing gradually but it's better it changes gradually rather than suddenly and violently.

White people from Albania? Ireland? Estonia? Russia?

I find the older I get the angrier I get about this, it’s so utterly fucking unfair. I was trying to compile a list of all the times I’ve been told I’m a ‘good girl’ (I’m 35), assumed I’d take minutes, asked what the fucking conference dial details are, or what time their own meeting is, handed empty cups, talked over, cut out of email trails, etc etc etc, and it’s just too big to quantify. I’ve spent years playing the game, covering for men, making sure the work gets delivered, bigging up their tiniest achievements while playing down my own, and I’m still paid less with more expected of me. Cunts.

I think some of you need to look up the definition of the word racism. It's perfectly possible for people to be racist towards white people.

Problem is you have to turn into a bit of a ball breaker. I don’t think I am one. But I sure as fuck won’t make a cup of tea for someone (in the context of it being expected as the lone female)
But then everyone jokes I’m a bit of a feminist and you don’t want to upset holding
Pathetic really.

Bless those guys and their precious family jewels eh?

Galatea: Lots of white men made enormous sacrifices to give you the coddled life you enjoy today

From one privileged white male to you, who sound like another ... surely you can't be serious with this and your other comments?

I don't know whether white men actually built Britain's physical infrastructure, but even acknowledging that it will probably have been mostly men of whatever skin colour mix, we can be pretty sure that their mothers, grandmothers, probably also sisters, etc. will also have made enormous sacrifices taking care of all the so-called women's work (raising children, cleaning, cooking, cleaning up some more, etc.) , so that these men could go out and "build Britain".

Only difference is, the "women's work" day will have had no end - if anything it will have included coddling "their" men when they "get back from work". Even if it were shown that the men did do more of the actual building, it would have to be acknowledged that without the women's contribution, there probably wouldn't have been much building to speak of.

I think the OP is calling "bullshit" on men who think they built it all, and are entitled to everything, while they are probably for the most part too young to have actually built anything.

Interestingly me and DH were talking today about how things will change when I go back to work from maternity leave soon, and he acknowledged that in terms of the mental load around DD's life (groups, appointments, feeding etc) he has had to do very little, and how this will have to change to reflect that I will have my job now on top of being a parent. And it'll ramp up when she starts school.

I've seen instances in my office of a group of management all walking past to go into a big important meeting. All men and a good 90% or over, white middle aged. It is depressing viewing.

And reading this makes me think of various professions and how the top rank always seems to be held by a man. Hairdresser - woman job. Top hair stylist - man. Cook - woman. Top celebrity Michelin chef - man. Teacher - woman. Headteacher - man.

I could name you a couple of top hair stylists and Michelin chefs right now, but they'd all be men. If you said, name me a woman I really couldn't without opening Google first. And then I think well shit, I'm part of it too, without even realising. I need to educate myself really.

Just hope it gets better for DD, even better I mean, I know things have come some way through the decades.

I was asked a few years back whether my husband approved of me working.

I have had men ask to speak to my husband about "complicated financial stuff"

I have dealt with many men who have been promoted well above the level of their own incompetence due to the school they attended.

Its time that ended.

OP was racist, sexist and offensive.

The only thing said that was accurate about privileged people.....
of all race's and regardless of gender!

I was in a meeting once when a manager got a female co worker to make the drinks and write the minutes as they are better at that kind of thing. I asked why he thought that and got a lot of bluster and said well she’s a member of staff junior to me and her job description says ‘and any other role as needed’. I stayed quiet. Got promoted above him within two years and the first meeting I ran- asked him to make the drinks and write the minutes. Everyone was shocked I had the audacity to ask him and suggested several alternatives (all women). He wrote the worst minutes every - because he was incompetent. And then reported me to hr. who almost backed him up. Until I pointed out that he was junior to me and his job description says ‘and any other role as needed’. After that a rota was written to cover meeting minutes... and I left the company when I realised no man had been rota’d on and this was written up by the most senior female member of staff.

I clawed my way up that male dominated company but knew I couldn’t get any further because I was too much of a ball buster and I wasn’t going to leave the men comfy.

Green with envy

Definitely definitely agree with you OP. I want a pom bear badge please

YankeeDad

Ah, so Einsteins wife and mother should really be the ones given credit for his work ? That is what you are saying just so we are clear here ?

Who do you expect to find at the top of Inuit society ? Inuits and probably men I expect. Not Africans or Europeans. If Africans or Europeans integrated with Inuit society then over generations I would expect a few of them to rise to the top. Exactly as has happened here, despite it being an apparently racist and sexist hellhole.

@Feefeetrixabelle
Sad thing is, that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.
I now work for someone who’s so driven and target obsessed he couldn’t give a shiny shit what sex you were or what school you went to, or if you have a degree. It’s very refreshing.

@GalateaDunkel
You literally make no sense. I couldn’t decipher your post. What are you actually trying to say. I don’t mean that in a goady way, I just don’t understand what you’re trying to say.

I think some of you need to look up the definition of the word racism. It's perfectly possible for people to be racist towards white people

You’re clueless. Truly. It’s embarrassing.

Racism is rooted in systematic oppression and persecution of people for the colour of their skin. White people have never faced this, and probably never will.

Which part makes no sense ? That western civilization was built by White men? That in any society the top positions are usually held by those of the same group that was primarily responsible for building and expanding it ? When that society opens up to give other groups control and direction over it, it takes time to change...
We're seeing that now.

@BackToTheFuschia7
That’s so ludicrous, maybe take a history lesson.

But
This thread is not about race. It’s about a majority in a country where the MAJORTY of men in power are white Anglo Saxons.

And how that has affected the OP and many other women

You’re clueless. Truly. It’s embarrassing.

Prejudice, discrimination or antagonism directed against some of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

that is what it means, not the definition you gave. You just made a fool of yourself,.unless you believe it is impossible for an Indian for example to believe that they are racially superior to a white person. Which would be odd.

Galatea, as the OP can I ask you to stop detailing this thread. You've had your say. Most on here disagree with you and you're not going to change their minds. Make it end.

Impossible to be racist towards white people

Errr no it isn't

And to those people that called me racist I'd question whether it's racist to critique a particular race that happens to have coopted most of the power in society. Seriously.