To think dh harassing me in the bath is not normal ?

[LardLizard]

He’s done this now two weeks in the trot
Last week he apologised, this morning I get up at 6.30 as the pet needed to go out
Fine no problem, then my youngest age 5 gets up at 7, I’m shattered so tell him to play on the iPad in his room for a while
Then dh gets up at 930, needs to leave at 10 for an activity, so as soon as dh gets up he starts ranting about dc being on the tablet
I go for a bath, so I can get ready for the day myself then he comes in the bathroom ranting again about the tablet
And having a go at dc
He’s bought him in to brush his teeth, I say nicely could you please do that in the en-suite as I’m tryig to wash my hair
Dh says no we are running late in a horrible way
I say it will only take you ten seconds to move to the en-suite
He just carries on and starts having a go at dc and me and going on and on about the tablet
Still continued to brush his teeth in there, now my oldest child is upset as well as hearing all this
I said to him if you were in the toilet goign for a poo, I wouldn’t bring dc in here to get there teeth brushed, I’d grab the stuff and go to another bathroom
Just makes me feel harassed as I’m obviously naked in the bath
And it’s like I have no space or privicy
And all the shouting

Lock the door?

There is no lock

I could get one though

But the point is do you think this is normal ?

Lock the door?

Most bathroom door locks are overridden from the outside in seconds just by a turn.

You need to create boundaries and put a lock on that door. That sounds so stressful and not ok.

If I got a bolt type one, one of he dcs could get looked in as wel

The worse is his has happened two Saturdays in a row

Brushing teeth only takes 2 minutes. I think YAB a bit U to ask them to move and make a thing of it.

Get a lock!

His behaviour wasn’t pleasant. Have you explicitly agreed who supervises DS at these kinds of times? (Leaving the other one free).

So he was in bed when the youngest was using the tablet? Does he think you should be up doing enriching activities at 7am on a Saturday?
I think he was being passive aggressive and doesn’t seem to want you to have time for yourself??

He's being a dick head. Agree to lock on the door, until you do, wedge the door closed!

Put the bolt high up so children can't reach.

But really, you need to have a family chat about boundaries.

If DH doesn’t want DS on tablet for 2-3 hours of a weekend morning he should discuss this with you calmly and seek solutions, eg taking turns each week to do something with DS, not rant.

Get a bolt but put it up high so the dc can’t lock themselves in.

This would piss me off too.

YANBU

That a good idea to put the bolt up high
He’s really upset the older dc too
Older dc has he he shouts far too much and about stuff not worth shouting about. And that the older dc feels hey can’t comfort the younger one when upset at being shouted about as older dc will then get in trouble with daddy

I think that’s also what’s upset me, he made the choice not to get up till 9.30 when he also has a five year old

If your DH didn't like your DC being on the tablet, perhaps he could have got up a 7 to entertain him rather than staying in bed until 9.30?

The bathroom drama sounds a bit silly and unnecessary. I take it you were using the family bathroom. Doesn't sound like your timing was great to take a bath in the main bathroom if you knew that your DH and DC would need to leave the house in the next 30 mins so would probably want to use the main bathroom yet you wanted some privacy. Might have been easier if you'd waited until after they left. It doesn 't excuse the shouting but maybe your DH was a bit irritated that you decided to have a bath while he was rushing around getting the DC ready? Although sounds like the rushing round was self-induced since he got up late.

This normal in my house, I've never had a bath without someone coming in since 2010 and i have one pretty much every night.
Get a lock, although they will probably stand outside and shout in.

It’s a bit confusing. Was your 5 yr old on the ipad from 7am (when you told him to go on it because you were tired) until 9.30 (when your husband got up and you were in the bath)? Because that’s quite a lot of time for a 5 yr old to be glued to a screen.

But, having sent him to his room to play on his ipad at 7, could you not have had your bath in the intervening two and a half hours?

Were you all going out at 10, or just your DH? If the latter, he needs to get his arse out of bed earlier and not take it out on you if he’s running late.

Anyway, it sounds pretty chaotic but not abnormal - I don’t have a problem with my family wandering in and out of the bathroom when I’m in the bath, and when I do want some quiet time to relax in there, I lock the door. If you don’t want people in the bathroom when you’re in the bath, get a lock.

I had to go and get myself ready then really because of the pet

i have an airer in my bathroom which i push against the door, either that or my towel/dressing gown, against the door.

Dh had already told me ina jokey way that I looked like a homeless person and a hobo
When he came down

I do think 2.5 hours is a bit long for the tablet BUT if DH was so bothered he should have got his arse out of bed and entertained DS himself. He does sound like he was being an arse. It's not so much the bath but controlling his temper and moodiness. He could have approached you politely, away from DS about too much screen time and come up with a solution together - probably one that involved DH doing some parenting too.