To think dh harassing me in the bath is not normal ?

[LardLizard]

He’s done this now two weeks in the trot
Last week he apologised, this morning I get up at 6.30 as the pet needed to go out
Fine no problem, then my youngest age 5 gets up at 7, I’m shattered so tell him to play on the iPad in his room for a while
Then dh gets up at 930, needs to leave at 10 for an activity, so as soon as dh gets up he starts ranting about dc being on the tablet
I go for a bath, so I can get ready for the day myself then he comes in the bathroom ranting again about the tablet
And having a go at dc
He’s bought him in to brush his teeth, I say nicely could you please do that in the en-suite as I’m tryig to wash my hair
Dh says no we are running late in a horrible way
I say it will only take you ten seconds to move to the en-suite
He just carries on and starts having a go at dc and me and going on and on about the tablet
Still continued to brush his teeth in there, now my oldest child is upset as well as hearing all this
I said to him if you were in the toilet goign for a poo, I wouldn’t bring dc in here to get there teeth brushed, I’d grab the stuff and go to another bathroom
Just makes me feel harassed as I’m obviously naked in the bath
And it’s like I have no space or privicy
And all the shouting

I'm really confused about the time line.....

Who was the activity for? DH or ds?
It sounds like you both need to sit down and organize your mornings. One of you should be up with the kids. When him and the kids are getting ready isn't a great time to have a bath. It sounds like things are haphazard and stressful. Him yelling isn't good, but it sounds like this could be solved with some structure and organization.

He sounds aggressive. And he's a lazy shit staying in bed when his child is up.

I thought OP went back to bed as well until 9:30.

It sounds like there is a lot of backstory. And DH is punishing you (and maybe also the kids to show how annoyed he is with you, which also upsets you) for some reason not clarified in your op.

Sounds like you both treated each other as inconveniences this morning. Easy to do when you're knackered but can also be midway down a slippery slope.

Wait, where was OP from 6.30 to 9.30? Back in bed?

Yes it part of the rough and tumble of family life. You need some time to yourself and the bathroom is the usual place. Could you put a simple bolt on the door.

Somebody was with the pet, which appears to need constant monitoring (and can’t just be sent to its room to play on its ipad).

Is it just me who thinks that word sounds similar to the way posters talk about their DH’s “hobby”? So mysterious! I’m hoping for a llama or the like but fear that it will turn out to be a hamster.

If you had both argued/agreed about the ipad use the week before, why did you send DC straight to watch the ipad again? For 2.5 hours! I think that's disrespectful to your dh's opinion. I would have sent dc to dh instead (assuming you were busy with the pet). Or if you both get a lie in, ask him how he manages to combine pet and dc in the morning. But don't repeat exactly what you argued about the previous week?

We need Hercule Poirot to figure out this one.

I didn't think the OP was with the pet all the time - it just says she let him out at 6:30. I was also under the impression that she went back to bed, hence the child being told to play on the iPad. I'm also confused as to why everyone chose 9:30 to do everything. Was the husband taking the child to an activity, hence they both needed to be ready by 10, or was the husband just brushing the child's teeth then for the hell of it?
Anyway, it doesn't sound like a very nice atmosphere for anyone.

It’s all a bit confusing. However, he sounds like a grumpy, aggressive, shouty, selfish, nasty, spiteful, lazy, pain in the arse. Why are you still with him? Sounds like the kids would be happier with him gone.

I think the op needs to come back and clarify the many questions, as otherwise all the responses are just projecting in one way or the other.

To be honest on a Saturday morning when kids are up and about I wouldn't choose that time to try and have a quiet bath. It's a quick jump in the shower kind of thing.
If I want a nice bath I tend to do that of an evening once dc are in bed and will let dh know so if either come down for anything he's there to sort them out and he won't disturb me unless I'm chatting to him whilst in there.
We bathe together sometimes for some peace and quiet and do that of an evening. We tell the dc we will be in the bath and they won't disturb for that half hour as they're in bed occupied. We still lock the door though.

Like we don't walk in and out when the older dc are on loo or in shower etc.
It's about boundaries. Your dh needs to learn that well.

Door wedge slipped under from inside. Take the bath plug with you as you exit. Oops !

Perhaps the OP got back in the bath? She’s very quiet

Seems both of them were selfish this morning.

Brick please enlighten me on how you got any of that nonsense from a simple question to the OP. I'd love to know

You've got a 5 year old. You both need to accept you're going to be up early and can't have lie ins/long baths.

2.5 hours on an iPad first thing in a day really isn't good for anyone. Let alone a small child!

Do you know what he was watching/playing in all that time?

You said 'maybe he was annoyed because no one had got the dc ready' I simply pointed out that if he and the dc had to go out then he should have been up to get them ready.

Rightly or wrongly I read into that an assumption that the op was expected to have got him ready.

Apologies if I misread something that wasn't there, but understandable given that pretty much the whole of the thread is pretty much blaming the op.

You don't need a lock - unless its for the front door!!!