DP picked up baby with volterol on hands!

[MrsVissa]

I need to rant.

DP just rubbed a load of max strength volterol in to his thigh. Then, with sticky unwashed hands, literally immediately after rubbing it in to his leg, picked up our 10 day old baby who only had a nappy on. I grabbed baby and put him under the shower to rinse him off.

I'm furious and have walked out of the house with him in pram to cool off. I could literally see the shiny handprint on DS where the gel was on him.

How could he be so stupid? AIBU to be furious at him? Or am I overreacting (very hormonal at the moment...)

Have you checked if baby need to go to Dr? Ring go or the NHS number. I'd be cross too!

He made a mistake. You’ll make some too. Give him a break.

Yab a bit u just wash off with a soapy facecloth. Baba will be fine.

I suspect it is very unlikely your baby absorbed any medication. DP didn't think and will feel bad. I doubt if he will do it again, I do think you are over reacting

You are overreacting. Its pain relief gel, not sulphuric acid. Baby very unlikely to come to any harm. All you had to do was to wipe him off.

Do you want your DH to pick up baby and storm out of the house furious with you when (as will almost certainly happen at some point) your baby rolls off the bed/sofa/changing table? You will both make mistakes as parents.

If I hadn't noticed it could've been harmful. It's got diclofenac in. I'm probably BU but feel so strongly protective over DS that I'm really angry.

Yeah, it was just a mistake. I know at 10 days it's really hard not to be hormonal and lose it about small things though. I know I did!

I'm suffering badly from baby blues and just don't know what's normal and what's not anymore. I'll apologise to him.

If I hadn't noticed it could've been harmful.

Not really. If you'd been regularly rubbing it into him that might have been harmful, but the amount he might actually absorb from once being touched by his dad with sticky hands is almost certainly negligible. Women breastfeed while taking painkillers all the time and their babies are fine.

I wouldn't be happy but I think taking the baby out for you to calm down is an overreaction. You and your dp have a very young baby that you are still getting used to, he made a mistake and probably feels awful now.

Wait until you’ve had a near miss or two. I think DS2 was probably about 10 days old when I dropped him on the floor, and he was 6 weeks when I fell down the stairs and let go of him - had to be admitted to the children’s ward for obs for about 10-12 hours.

Ok. IABU. I will apologise when I come back. I'm so low and sleep deprived and trying to keep on top of house and home, I'm in a fog and clearly overreacted.

Your DP is adjusting to being a parent just as much as you are.

Being furious and storming out of the house won’t do anything other than raise your blood pressure and make DP like he can’t do anything right.

A simple “Make sure you’ve washed your hands properly after using the gel, it could really irritate baby’s skin.” would be enough for most people to understand while not being made to feel like the worst parent in the world.

I remember DH freaking at me when dd was a week old because I’d put a clean but non-sterilised cap on a freshly made bottle just as we were about to head out. He laughs at himself now, but that first 10-14 when he was on high alert for every possible risk was no joke.

It does sound like a bit of an overreaction but I can understand where your coming from I can remember when my dd1 was a few months old and she grabbed at my toast laden with butter and I was panicking thinking she would die because she’d licked a bit of butter and it’s too salty! Also I used to worry about wearing perfume, Deodrant etc when they were tiny thinking they’d inhale it or something! It’s normal to worry about your precious baby

It was a mistake and I’m sure he’ll think again, but don’t stress, you are not being unreasonable. Perhaps over reacting a tad but that is a really stupid thing to do anyway! I would be annoyed if my OH did it to my older child let alone my baby. A newborn’s skin is so vulnerable and can be very sensitive so you are absolutely right to be very concerned at what goes on their skin. For the first 6 weeks the advise is nothing more than water! Baby wipes are not even advised till 6 weeks. And when you are bothering to be cautious and use warm water and cotton wool then it’s absolutely right to be majorly irritated that he’s put volterol on the baby.

He made a mistake he has only had 10 days to learn how deal with a baby. As have you. You will make mistakes, you are in this together. You have to work together.

My DH clipped our babies nails too short (on day one) and made his finger bleed.
I clipped the car seat strap on my babies thigh
I have knocked my DS over many times as he has stood behind me.
DH scratched Ds's face with his watch and left a little scar.

They will get injuries, they are accidents, as long as it's not on purpose, give each other a break.

Also give yourself a break, you are tired and you have just had a baby, it's bloody hard work.

Give yourself a break. I screamed at DH when he tried to hand me a cup of tea while I was breastfeeding at 16 days pp. I'd had a horrendous womb infection after having baby, spent 3 days in hospital on antibiotics drip (which I asked every nurse to confirm it wouldn't poison my baby) and had just got home.

After a couple of months of sleep deprivation I'm fairly certain I threatened divorce on a daily basis basis too.

It happens, the smallest thing can send us over the edge. You've just grown a person, expelled them from your body and are having to adjust to that as well as every hormone ever turning up for a big ol'party.

Go back, apologize, tell him to be a bit more careful in future and have a biscuit (a real one, not one of the arseholes on here).

Congratulations on your baby.

It sounds like you are both adjusting to being new parents. My baby is 4 months old and I have snapped at my husband over stuff like this. I think as a Mum you are naturally more protective (or in my case worried about everything).

I agree, give him a break- I’m sure he feels bad enough. When my baby was a few weeks old I cut the end of her finger while clipping her nails- felt awful!

Also stop trying to keep on top of the housework,trying to care for a newborn is tough enough, as long as you and baby are clean, dry, warm and fed the rest doesn't matter. Give yourself and DP a break

Leaving the house was a massive over reaction and I think you should apologise to your husband for this.

I can understand though that ten days pp you are still in 'insane mode' and over reactions come with the territory.

You're in this together though, and you with both make mistakes and be the one with baby when they have accidents.

My son rolled and fell off our bed a couple of months ago, I was right in front of him but couldn't catch him. When I felt awful and told my husband if he had come home from work and took baby out as though I can't look after him it would have been dreadful. I'd have felt even worse and it would have effected our relationship.

Cut him some slack, as he just didn't think and is probably over whelmed and tired too and I'm guessing in pain with his leg.

Personally I'd apologise, remind him you're ridiculously hormonal still and get on with your day together the three of you.

Ah baby blues are the worst. The hormones will die down soon and you'll freak out less about the small things once you've nearly killed him a couple of times 🙈

Maybe when you sit down with him to apologize you can bring up that you're feeling overwhelmed. The newborn period is hard, isn't it? Maybe there's something he can do to help you get a bit of rest (or at least a quiet moment or two.

And go easy on yourself. Things don't have to be perfection right now.

I threw a bottle of formula at DH on day 6. He was obsessing about exactly how sterile a bottle could be once it was out of the steriliser, and I eventually lost it.

It's HARD. You're both exhausted, in shock and doing your best. Go home, put the kettle on, and give each other a hug.

A few weeks ago, I was about to do something with DD's face, when DP reminded me that I'd been handling chillies only a few mins before.

I obviously hadn't gone to DD thinking, "I've just been handling chillies, now I'm going to wipe the clag from her eyes with capsaicin fingers." I simply hadn't remembered, or made the connection between the 2 actions.
Had DP immediately gone into a rant about how stupid I waslet alone stomped off with DDthat would've been way OTT.

When DS1 was a couple of days old I dropped my phone on his face while trying to take a photo of him. I still feel guilty to this day. (He is 13 years old now!) I was certain I had caused a permanent unseen injury and that social services would need to be told.