DP picked up baby with volterol on hands!

[MrsVissa]

I need to rant.

DP just rubbed a load of max strength volterol in to his thigh. Then, with sticky unwashed hands, literally immediately after rubbing it in to his leg, picked up our 10 day old baby who only had a nappy on. I grabbed baby and put him under the shower to rinse him off.

I'm furious and have walked out of the house with him in pram to cool off. I could literally see the shiny handprint on DS where the gel was on him.

How could he be so stupid? AIBU to be furious at him? Or am I overreacting (very hormonal at the moment...)

When DD2 was 2 days old and we were just home from hospital I let DD1 aged 2 fall down the stairs. Years later I am not sure how it happened I was a little sleep deprived DD2 was downstairs in her moses basket and we had popped up the stairs to get something however my supervision was severely lacking or maybe 3 days of labour had turned my memory to mush and I had forgotten she couldn't do stairs.

Anyway DH had been outside sorting the cars out, he came in to me and both DD crying asked me if I was OK then whisked DD1 off to A&E to be checked out.

You are over reacting I'm afraid. If he'd rubbed it in, what was left on his hands would have been completely minimal.

I would have been hysterically upset and frightened if this had happened to one of mine at 10 days old. I don’t think your reaction was unreasonable. Be kind to yourself. You are wired to protect your baby like a mother lioness!

OP just wanted to quickly respond in between bedtime with my now 5 year old.
It's tough in the early days, don't underestimate hormones and the blues.

Your OH sounds like a good guy (his ego will recover from his telling off ) and you'll both laugh about this time in years to come along with many other things that will happen along the way.

Hope the fresh air helped, nothing wrong with getting out for a breather.
Baths, chocolate & cuddles are all essentials recovery tools at this stage. Bonus if you can get a bit of extra Z's too 

Please don't be hard on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day.

When my dd was a newborn, I used to lose my shit over ex DP using steroid cream for the eczema on his arm and then holding her. He would never remember and I irrationally believed it was gradually thinning her already thin skin. I was also paranoid about deodorants and shower gels etc while breastfeeding, thinking I was going to poison her

Seriously though OP, I suffered terribly with baby blues and postnatal anxiety- it was a dreadful time and completely ruined the first few months of motherhood for me. Go to your GP and let them know asap if you are struggling. I was given medication and wouldn't have survived without it.

See I have two daughters and I wasn’t insane with motherly protectiveness at that point. Insane in other ways yes but I didn’t get all funny when they weren’t in my sight or need to take them in the bath with me.

Maybe I just have a heart of tin. These threads never make me feel great.

Midwife here. You overreacted but I understand why and understand why you were worried.

Diclofenac is safe when breastfeeding and can be used in babies from 3 days of age (when needed obviously). The amount that would have been absorbed will be tiny and cause no harm at all.

ThereFoesTheAlarm-don’t beat yourself up about it-some people need to spend time getting to know their baby before that fierce thing kicks in...I know I did with my first, she was 6 weeks old before I felt anything at all.

She’s 14 now, a right pain in the arse and yet....she my pain in the arse.

There’s no right or wrong way.....we do what we can.

Op most of us have felt the same at some point or other - don’t give yourself a hard time xxxx

Honestly just look after your self and watch out for your hormones. Mine turned very fast first baby and I didn't think I could ask for help.

I usually started a sentence with "look I know I'm being irrational but I'm leaking out of at least 3 parts of my body right now so just humour me"

I remember very clearly queuing up for the heel prick test with all the other mums on day 3. I'd had a section and was in for a bit. She was my second baby and I thought that would make me a much more laid back mother.

As I stood there just silently crying, I thought if I can just explain to them that I made a mistake I'm sure they will find her a loving home and take her away.

Hormones are sent from the devil.

OP, don’t try to do so much. Read this. I wish I had read it when DS was teeny.

www.dontbuyherflowers.com/motherhood/pulling-up-the-drawbridge/

My aunt dropped one of my cousin's down the stairs once.

She's a very smart young woman who just graduated uni and landed a really good job.

My son has rolled off our bed / sofa at least 3 times now and he's fine.

These things happen, please dont worry about it. And your DH sounds lovely X

I slipped and fell down two steps in the garden and dropped DS. He fell onto concrete. Fortunately he was in a padded pram suit thing. I was hysterical so was he. I rang DH at work and could hardly speak I was in such a state and DS was crying so loudly. I took him to A and E sobbing all the way there. He had a big bump on his head. DH met us there. He was fully checked out and apart from the bump was fine. I still feel guilty. DH was lovely to me. Thete have been lots of bumps and scrapes and grazes since.

'I would have fucking destroyed him'!?

That's some horrible way to speak about the other parent of your child. Jesus! Imagine a man saying that about the new mother of his child.

Definitely don't think you're being unreasonable, you are full of crazy hormones right now, a lot can be forgiven!!! Your instinct is to protect at all costs and that may be something even smaller as this, such as someone looking at your baby the wrong way! At least you stormed out and went for a nice productive calming walk, instead of having a blazing row :-) go easy on yourself and congratulations! Xx

@IStandWithPosie I'm sorry but that made me chuckle, I've done the same 😳 and I've also dropped food on my sleeping babies a lot, mainly chocolate 😂

@CrookedMe

That's some horrible way to speak about the other parent of your child. Jesus! Imagine a man saying that about the new mother of his child.

I was being hyperbolic (I thought that was obvious - clearly not) to emphasise the anxious state I was in postpartum. I love my husband very much but when I’d just had a baby I wasn’t myself.

Now had a chance to rtft @MrsVissa and everyone saying you were overreacting, whaaaaat????? You gave birth 10 days ago! Nothing would really be an overreaction at this point. But like others have said keep an eye on your mood, as it sounds like you're already doing!!! You're doing a great job 😘

I was sympathising in my earlier post but in retrospect I’m pretty sure I suffered from postpartum anxiety, so take good care of yourself OP. It got so bad I think I actually hallucinated at one point. My husband was supportive but I think it’s difficult to empathise with the kind of fear that a new mum can feel unless you’ve been there yourself.

Hope you are ok OP. I always found 10-14 days hard. And I would have been cross with my dh too over this, it's not just the act of it but that he hasn't thought about it.

I wouldn't worry about the fact that you took baby out to calm down, if you needed to calm down you needed to calm down, and so it was the right thing to do. Having a newborn is hard and you have to look after yourself. Take it easy and I hope you are getting a little rest

It's understandable why you've reacted the way you did but it was a mistake, one he won't make again now,
As you've said you're going to apologise so there's no real harm done

Go easy on yourself OP (and on your partner).

The first few weeks are HARD. Just do what absolutely MUST be done for you and baby to be fed and relatively clean. All of the other stuff can wait.

I too have dropped a baby.

If it makes you feel any better my DP dropped our first baby on day 7 when he tried to use the baby bjorn sling for the first time. He forgot to do the bottom straps up so when I put the baby in he just shot straight through! And he's over 6ft! Luckily he had been standing over the bed so DS1 hit the bed, but still bounced about half a foot in an alarming manner. I think I was roo shocked to be angry.

What you're going through is completely normal. We have all been there. It gets much better. Take it easy on yourself x

Hope you are ok this morning OP and that you managed some sleep.