DP picked up baby with volterol on hands!

[MrsVissa]

I need to rant.

DP just rubbed a load of max strength volterol in to his thigh. Then, with sticky unwashed hands, literally immediately after rubbing it in to his leg, picked up our 10 day old baby who only had a nappy on. I grabbed baby and put him under the shower to rinse him off.

I'm furious and have walked out of the house with him in pram to cool off. I could literally see the shiny handprint on DS where the gel was on him.

How could he be so stupid? AIBU to be furious at him? Or am I overreacting (very hormonal at the moment...)

OP they give diclofenac as a painkiller to breast feeding mothers who have had a c-section. I'm not a pharmacist but that suggests to me that it's not that bad.

I would have felt angry at the time, had a rant (like you have done) and then just moved on.

We all make silly mistakes- I could probably write a book! Don't worry or beat yourself up about it, like I said I would have felt angry at the time too!

Oh and IStandWithPosie I did that once too! I also was being lazy once with baby and put him directly into the bath then he slipped out of my hands so I accidentally waterboarded him! I have 4 of them and they've all survived my parenting so far!

I agree with PP, stop trying to keep on top of the housework. Just sleep. The sleep deprivation will make you crazy.

Is this your first baby?

Yep I’ve done that too NKfell!

Hey new mamma

Dont be hard on yourself, you are protective.

Your partner made a mistake - not thinking

Kiss and make up, you are both stressed. IMO no one is unreasonable here

OP Your DP has just become a member of our club. Really do try not to worry, which is far harder than it sounds.

You have many, many more years of accidental mistakes to come....this was innocent, he's still getting used to having this new life he's now responsible for. You need to grow up.

Rather unfair lovethe, why on earth does the post-partum, hormonal OP need to "grow up"?

I apologised. He gave me a big hug and said don't worry. He's run me a bath and put the Moses basket next to it so I can relax and watch DS at the same time.

I feel really awful now but I really am in the midst of some terrible baby blues. I can't stop crying over little silly things. My annoyance came from a place of love. I love my baby so much it hurts. I'm sure I will calm down once this fog settles a bit...

I don't need to grow up. I need to accept maybe that these things happen and in time I will learn to relax a bit more. I have apologised profusely to DP who laughed at me and understands. Grow up though? I'd do anything for my baby. I love him with all my might. I think what I really need to do is look out for my mental health and ensure these baby blues don't result in PND. Definitely the 'grown up' thing to do...

@notacooldad it is. Very much longed for after 6 miscarriages and sadly one loss at 28 weeks last year. I'm probably a little too protective for this reason.

Thanks all (most) for being kind and helping me right my wrong!

That's a nice update, DH sounds like a good 'un.

Keep an eye and talk to your HV if your feelings don't pick up.

Enjoy your bath! ❤️

Thanks @CrookedMe - I feel silly now...

Your dh has forgiven you, forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes. I look back on some of over protective things with a OMG I can’t believe is did that attitude but you live and learn.

OP, massive kudos to you for accepting what people have said and apologising to your DH, and for your excellent level of self-awareness. It’s completely, 100% normal to be a bit bonkers 10 days in to a first baby! Your DP was a bit of an idiot, you overreacted, but he sounds like a good egg and like he’s supporting you well. I promise one day you’ll look back and laugh about this. In the meantime, keep an eye on the baby blues, maybe mention to your HV (if you get a good one) and hopefully then there’ll be extra support already available for you if & when you need it. You, DP and baby will all be fine

Bless you! Glad things worked out

When DS1 was born a bit early, they had to call my mum to calm me down when I was going to have to leave the hospital a day earlier than him. I just knew he wouldn't be there when I came back to get him and went into hysterics. Pure hormones!

Luckily my lovely Dr rewrote orders to allow me to stay the extra day.

Luvssmalldogs You DROPPED your baby??? Omg. Onto the floor????? 

Regarding your losses, be very careful about you mental health. I was in double figures for miscarriages when I was pg with DD2. She was my third child but the losses before I managed to carry her to term had a huge impact on me. It wasnt helped that during the pregnancy I lost her twin sister, and then she almost died at birth.

I was a basket case. I was surviving on a few hours kip I got between DH getting home and him going to bed because I would watch her constantly, I would only have that sleep if he promised to hold her the whole time and never put her down in case she died. I was obsessed and it became severe PND coupled with PTSD as a result of her birth.

Keep a note of your general feelings, nothing in depth just a note in your diary and include how much sleep you had. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is illegal under the Geneva Convention

@notacooldad it is. Very much longed for after 6 miscarriages and sadly one loss at 28 weeks last year. I'm probably a little too protective for this reason
I'm glad things have worked out for you after a hard time.
Seriously you will look back at this and laugh and tell it as a story about the time dad was an idiot!! I have loads of stories that I tell my 19 year old DS about. One was when I had him in my arms feeding him with a bottle and I took a phone call so the phone was cradled between my neck and ear. I picked up the bottle but the lid wasn't on properly. I thought I had drowned him! DP went mad at me!

MrsVissa better you posted something small like this and realised that you do have to take care of yourself - and ask your dh to too - you’ve been through a lot, it’s natural that your emotions are responding

Whatever you do OP, don't beat yourself up over your reactions to things.

You feel what you feel and you realised very quickly that you owed an apology and dealt with it. Keep being kind to yourself - you are doing the best that you can and its pretty awesome.

MrsV huge congrats on your lovely new baby, and big, slightly in-MN-y hugs to you. Sounds like you and your dh are doing an amazing job of mindfully dealing with all those crazy hormones, sleep deprivation and the most mind blowingly scary life changing thing ever. Keep on communicating, retain that self awareness (seriously, it would have taken me hours not minutes to even notice IWBU at that stage!) and try to enjoy the first weeks with your baby as much as you can. The sleep deprivation, and the crazy hormones will pass, and things will settle down eventually...just muddle through as best you can (ps helps, although you may have to settle for if bfing!)

Get help for the baby blues OP. Talk to your midwife. Or see a GP soon as with your DP and ask for help.