To tell the MIL to go fuck herself?

[GoJetterGirl]

Before I start, the daily mail can go fuck themselves too...

Right, for those of you in the know from my other threads, you’ll easily get the context:

Child with significant health issues and is currently treated as palliative, but is stable and showing no significant signs of progressing any further st this precise moment in time (but for all intents and purposes, at least not this weekend, which is what I want you to bear in mind...)

I have an amazing amount of support from my adoptive sister who is also a mumsmetter...

Aforementioned sister is trained to administer the medications DS is currently on,

So, a while back I had a mini breakdown which was a combination of 3 years of literally no time to myself, needing to shake myself loose for one night and spent some time with my DH alone, even if it is only dinner and perhaps a film...

Sister suggests that we make a night of it, staying local so that we can quickly return if we are needed urgently.

DS is speaking with his grandparents and casually mentions that my sister is coming over Friday “so mummy and daddy can go out without me, and have some time away”

MIL decides that as a mother I shouldn’t be having any time away from DS and I’m not motherly and don’t want to be a mother

Yeah, all this based on one night when it would be our first proper night out out since before DS was born!

Suffice to say I told her that I do need a break sometime and given that I’m on call 24/7 for DS and have been forever, DH and I are entitled to one night where we can be together or am I being unreasonable?

To everyone offering me their patios and assassination services... I may take you up on that offer, I’ve jist opened my emails and MIl has employed a flying monkey to interfere yeah, that’s not going to fly, I’m going Friday and if she turns up at my house while we are gone, I’ll launch her into the lake....

I cannot believe your vile MIL said that. I would go NC as she adds nothing to your lives, only more stress which you don't need.

Of course you need a break. Go and enjoy, and recharge your batteries.

I'm more of an 'ignore her and silently curse her' type, so as to not cause confrontation.
But in this case you are absolutely within your right to tell her to get fucked.

Take care of yourself and enjoy your night.

Did MIL never have a night out until your DH was grown up and left home then? She’s an absolute twat with double standards and you definitely deserve some time to yourself.

Seriously op, with all that’s going on why haven’t you gone no contact?
You don’t need this pressure and she is pure evil.
So cut contact.
Tell her not to contact or call you in any way shape or form and if anyone does vecone a flying monkey, give them one warning and cut them out too.

Sorry for the typos.

Stay home, put the money saved towards building a patio!

Enjoy your night away. All carers need to recharge their batteries to care well.

Of course you and your DH can have a night out together, and on a more regular basis if possible.

Personally, I wouldn’t fall out with MIL over it, no need for aggression IMHO, she said a silly thing, but we are adults, she doesn’t need to approve what you do surely.

Could MIL be disappointed that she hasn’t been asked to babysit?

As long as your DS will be well looked after, go and enjoy your evening out.

I know it's been said before but you need to let it sink in, ignore her!

You are doing brilliantly and are an amazing mum. You (despite how you feel) need to have some time to look after you. You need to have some time to be a couple with DH. You need these things in order that you can continue to do what you're doing.

She obviously has NO idea what it's like and how difficult it is. Has no idea about the importance of self care. And no idea about the fact her job should be to support and love not ever judge.
But, don't doubt your need for this or feel like you should justify it.

I thought it was so lovely how your sister offered and because you trust her support then you should go and know that your ds is ok.

And from your DH turning it into a proper break, it shows he recognises the importance too and wants to have some quality time with you as his wife. That's so important in any relationship, but especially one which is facing such trying times.

These are the people who love you, these are your support team. Trust them and ignore the rest. They're not worthy of your time or energy.

Much love to you and I hope you have an awesome time!!

Personally, I wouldn’t fall out with MIL over it, no need for aggression IMHO, she said a silly thing, but we are adults, she doesn’t need to approve what you do surely.

Could MIL be disappointed that she hasn’t been asked to babysit?

Unfortunately yoga, there is a shed load of previous history in relation to the inlaws that means I wouldn’t trust her if my life depended on it, perhaps someone would kindly pop up links to previous threads? I don’t know how to do it...?

The last time MIL babysat, my child ended up in hospital!!!

It was just her saying a “silly thing” it was her continuing to attempt to batter my (somewhat limited) confidence, and I finally hit the point last night where I had to tell her to go fuck herself, and I’m glad I did!

*wasnt, everything that comes out of her pothole is beyond stupid to be fair...

@Yogagirl123 in this case the MIL is pure evil, read @GoJetterGirl previous threads

Has she never heard of the word “Respite”. It’s vital and positively encouraged when you’re a carer and for her to say it’s not motherly is an insult to all the carers out there. Ignorant woman! Have a great time OP

I remember your backstory. Yanbu at all. Would happily let you use my patio too

It would be wrong of me to say that I would rather it was her that was terminally ill and not your lovely little boy so I won't say it.

Christ I’ll tell her to go fuck hetself if that helps..

In all seriousness sounds like you may need restbite on a regular basis, can you arrange something like this with your ds for once every month or so?

Astonishing that she's found a flying monkey to back her in this nonsense. But of course said flying monkey won't have been given anything approaching an accurate version of the facts.

Off the point and out of sheer curiosity, is your FIL with dementia still driving?

What Breville said.

She is a shitesplattered uberknob.

How dare she?

shitesplattered uberknob. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm so stealing that.

You're running on fumes and need a break. Tell her you're not superwoman and it's none of her business.
It's hard for us mums remembering we need to take care of ourselves sometimes too. You don't need this poisonous old bag trying to guilt trip you.
What does dh say to his Dragon mother when she says this stuff?
Enjoy yourself and tell her to go fuck herself with her own toxic opinions.

This advert is not me, I promise, but has made people laugh before. It is not meant to be serious!

OP's previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3059605-To-ban-the-inlaws-from-coming-anywhere-near-the-hospital?msgid=72889069

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3330104-To-be-seriously-worried-about-FIL-s-memory-And-what-should-I-do-if-the-family-refuse-to-do-anything-about-it

@Brigante9 do you know if Clubcard points are available on that?