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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU In wanting to wipe the smug grin off his face?

254 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 30/10/2018 17:29

Backstory

I have a friend (A) who I am fairly closewith. A got with her boyfriend (B) about 3 years ago, I always thought he was a bit of a bellend but couldn't put my finger on why.A is also currently 7 months pregnant.

2 Weeks ago
I was leaving my house at about 8.30am, and I see my neighbour kissing a man goodbye at the door and as he starts walking away, we lock eyes. It's B! His face drops, and he looks like he's going to pass out. He quickly rushes past me and turns off the street. I casually asked the neighbour
"Aww is that your new fella?"
She smiles and said "sort of. Just keeping it quiet at the moment though and see where we go."

I phone DH and tell him exactly what I saw and how I always thought he was a dodgy bastard. He must be thick to be shagging a bird who lives on the same street of As friend - he's even been to our bloody house!

DH tries to be the voice of reason, that maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, he surely wouldn't cheat on A. If I go running to A with this information and it is something fairly innocent I would look a twat and stress out a pregnant woman and I can't be getting stressed out being pregnant myself.

That night, guess who knocks on? The neighbour! B had obviously filled her in that he knows me and I'm his girlfriend's friend. Turns out my neighbour knew she was screwing a taken man, and had fell for the bullshit cliche of "I will leave her just need to find the right time"
I asked her did she know he has a heavily pregnant partner at home, she said yes but she has no guilt because B said the child was never planned A basically forced him into the baby, and it's only because of the baby why he hasn't left yet.

I asked her why on earth she would be telling me this, surely she should be trying to play it down and minimise it. Turns out the snakey cow wanted me to give A all the gorey details in the hopes she kicks B out so the neighbour can finally have him!

Me and DH discussed this at length and decided to not saying anything, as I honestly didn't want to stress her out and as people always say stay out of it.

Today

(Saw the twat leaving again yesterday morning) A has come into my salon for a catchup, and she's saying how B has been amazing throughout the pregnancy, how excited he is and they're even discussing marriage. She's in the salon for about 40 minutes before cockhead comes in.

He struts in cocky as hell, and makes the comment "people are gonna think you're following me soon"

A asks what he means, and he mentions how he saw me yesterday leaving a customers house! A just looked really confused at me and went "you never said you saw B yesterday KungFu"

I played it off as baby brain and why I didn't mention it. But never in my life have I felt the urge to inflict so much damage on someone as I did that moment in time.

He's got me over a barrel now hasn't he? I can't say anything because of how long I've left it and he would easily bullshit saying it's a customer (he's a tradesman). The only way I could prove I was telling the truth is letting A meet up with the neighbour, but A honestly doesn't deserve that does she?

Please don't tell me I should have told her 2 weeks ago, I thought I was doing the right thing but in reality I was being cowardly. Any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 03/11/2018 19:57

Be there (with non alcoholic wine!) afterwards, she'll need you I'm sure

OhEctoplasmOnIt · 03/11/2018 19:59

Just be careful as your neighbour sounds quite aggressive and nasty ("fucking mug" in public, very nice) so be careful she doesn't harm your friend.

Spanglyprincess1 · 03/11/2018 20:01

Hope your friends ok x

museumum · 03/11/2018 20:09

Let her talk to the neighbour. She will fight for “her” man and your friend can let her bloody have him. And she’ll be free. Best solution.

Greenkit · 03/11/2018 20:19

Hope it goes well

MsVestibule · 03/11/2018 20:22

What on earth is there to talk about Confused? Either the OW will corroborate his story or she will say actually no, they've been having a full blown affair and your friend won't know who to believe.

CottonTailRabbit · 03/11/2018 22:51

Even if the OW confirms it was "only" one and a half blow jobs then that's the end anyway. Sounds to me like friend had pretty good idea he was a cheating cock already. Hence the lack of surprise.

IAmGrootGrootGroot · 03/11/2018 22:55

What a horrible thing to do to his pregnant girlfriend 😔

I hope she doesn't forgive him for this.

I hope your friend is ok. It's a horrible thing to deal with at the best of times, never mind when pregnant.

notapizzaeater · 03/11/2018 23:05

I'm glad you told her, she needed to know whatever she decides to do know you can support her,

LilQueenie · 03/11/2018 23:05

you did the right thing telling her. Takes some stress off you too. personally I would want every detail the neighbour told you especially the part of hoping you would speak up so she can bag the man for herself. That speaks volumes. I hope she keeps him around long enough to stop the neighbour fulfilling her little plan but only long enough. She really deserves better. Take him for everything he has in the meantime bloody scumbag.

t00dle00 · 03/11/2018 23:07

I'm glad you told her op.

laadedaa · 03/11/2018 23:15

Glad you told her. You did the right thing.

BlackStar7 · 03/11/2018 23:20

You did the right thing. I hope both your friend and your neighbour see the bastard for what he is!

hiddeneverything · 03/11/2018 23:21

Only one and a gigaflops BJs 

ThePinkOcelot · 03/11/2018 23:26

One and a half blow jobs? WTF?!

I’m glad you’ve told her. That can’t have been easy.

FantasticHarryPotter · 03/11/2018 23:33

He's so scummy and the neighbour isn't showering herself in glory either.
A is so much better without him.

hiddeneverything · 03/11/2018 23:34

I meant to say one and half - not that random made up word!

Well done for telling her op. X

Vixxxy · 04/11/2018 00:15

I'm usually one for staying out of other peoples business, but in this case I would definitely have to say something. What a pair of wankers.

hungryhippo90 · 04/11/2018 00:22

How on earth did it go with the neighbour? He’s spoken to neighbour presumably for your neighbour to have felt the need to shout your mates a fucking mug.

Btw your neighbour sounds nice Hmm

AGHHHH · 04/11/2018 00:30

He and the neighbour are complete wastes of space.

Hope your friend is OK.

Rtmhwales · 04/11/2018 00:41

If my DP told me it has been 1.5 half times I'd be gone. 0 times is the maximum I'd go to. Your poor friend. And what an idiot man.

Jux · 04/11/2018 02:36

Well done. I hope A's talk with your neighbour didn't go too badly, though I think it probably would have - the neighbour sounds like a real piece of work. Your poor friend.

RebootYourEngine · 04/11/2018 05:30

I do hope your friend is not thinking of staying with him.

AintNobodyHereButUsRavens · 04/11/2018 06:06

I really hope your friend kicks the dickhead out. She deserves way better than that.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 04/11/2018 06:33

WTF is half a blow job?

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