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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU In wanting to wipe the smug grin off his face?

254 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 30/10/2018 17:29

Backstory

I have a friend (A) who I am fairly closewith. A got with her boyfriend (B) about 3 years ago, I always thought he was a bit of a bellend but couldn't put my finger on why.A is also currently 7 months pregnant.

2 Weeks ago
I was leaving my house at about 8.30am, and I see my neighbour kissing a man goodbye at the door and as he starts walking away, we lock eyes. It's B! His face drops, and he looks like he's going to pass out. He quickly rushes past me and turns off the street. I casually asked the neighbour
"Aww is that your new fella?"
She smiles and said "sort of. Just keeping it quiet at the moment though and see where we go."

I phone DH and tell him exactly what I saw and how I always thought he was a dodgy bastard. He must be thick to be shagging a bird who lives on the same street of As friend - he's even been to our bloody house!

DH tries to be the voice of reason, that maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, he surely wouldn't cheat on A. If I go running to A with this information and it is something fairly innocent I would look a twat and stress out a pregnant woman and I can't be getting stressed out being pregnant myself.

That night, guess who knocks on? The neighbour! B had obviously filled her in that he knows me and I'm his girlfriend's friend. Turns out my neighbour knew she was screwing a taken man, and had fell for the bullshit cliche of "I will leave her just need to find the right time"
I asked her did she know he has a heavily pregnant partner at home, she said yes but she has no guilt because B said the child was never planned A basically forced him into the baby, and it's only because of the baby why he hasn't left yet.

I asked her why on earth she would be telling me this, surely she should be trying to play it down and minimise it. Turns out the snakey cow wanted me to give A all the gorey details in the hopes she kicks B out so the neighbour can finally have him!

Me and DH discussed this at length and decided to not saying anything, as I honestly didn't want to stress her out and as people always say stay out of it.

Today

(Saw the twat leaving again yesterday morning) A has come into my salon for a catchup, and she's saying how B has been amazing throughout the pregnancy, how excited he is and they're even discussing marriage. She's in the salon for about 40 minutes before cockhead comes in.

He struts in cocky as hell, and makes the comment "people are gonna think you're following me soon"

A asks what he means, and he mentions how he saw me yesterday leaving a customers house! A just looked really confused at me and went "you never said you saw B yesterday KungFu"

I played it off as baby brain and why I didn't mention it. But never in my life have I felt the urge to inflict so much damage on someone as I did that moment in time.

He's got me over a barrel now hasn't he? I can't say anything because of how long I've left it and he would easily bullshit saying it's a customer (he's a tradesman). The only way I could prove I was telling the truth is letting A meet up with the neighbour, but A honestly doesn't deserve that does she?

Please don't tell me I should have told her 2 weeks ago, I thought I was doing the right thing but in reality I was being cowardly. Any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 04/11/2018 06:43

She licked it?

OP does your friend know you're posting her story on here? Get it deleted.

figelnarage · 04/11/2018 07:10

How did the 'chat' go?

NoFucksImAQueen · 04/11/2018 08:26

your neighbour sounds vile which is obviously why her and friends p were attracted.i hope she wasn't a bitch to your friend

woolduvet · 04/11/2018 08:30

It sounds like she's looking for a reason to carry on the relationship

Digggers · 04/11/2018 08:31

Kin hell.

3luckystars · 04/11/2018 08:32

I have been in this situation.

Go to your man. Say 'either you tell her, or I will' And do that.

Don't worry about the delay in telling her. Say you were checking your facts.
Above is the ONLY way i can think of keeping your friend. And she is going to need friends.

I did this 30 years ago and everyone is ok, everyone stayed friends with me (even your man) and they were grateful for my honesty.

brizzledrizzle · 04/11/2018 08:33

Drop into conversation that it's a small world, B knows your neighbour as you saw him leaving her house yesterday and let the penny drop?

HavelockVetinari · 04/11/2018 08:40

WHY do people not RTFT? It's so rude to just jump to the end and ignore everything said in the interim pages.

And yes, @3luckystars and @bizzledrizzle, I'm talking about you here.

MrsJamin · 04/11/2018 08:42

How did it go last night? I can't imagine it ended well if she spoke to your neighbour!

3luckystars · 04/11/2018 08:46

Honestly now, when I posted it said there was 2 pages. I read them and replied.
When I read my reply, it was on page 5.

I thought at first there had been a huge flurry of replies in the last 5 minutes, but no, there were now 3 pages that I hadn't seen.

Maybe it's my settings, I view 50 posts per page. I always read the thread so I am genuinely sorry that happened.

Figgygal · 04/11/2018 08:48

Christ hopefully she's seen sense now the neighbour has filled her in

Shits the both of them

Cauliflowersqueeze · 04/11/2018 08:52

Well done for telling her.

B will be furious all that power has been sucked away from him. He was expecting to do as he pleased without any comeback.
I’m glad your friend had the sense not to be angry with you - it’s hardly your fault anyway!
How did things go last night?

Redtartanshoes · 04/11/2018 08:53

Chatting with neighbour will not end well... she sounds a bit deranged

rainbowquack · 04/11/2018 09:02

Also curious about half a blow jib and what kind of a catch this man is that he is so charming? Is he George Clooney?

Yuck.

Friend A is probably feeling so vulnerable and thinking how she will need support for when the baby arrives. I can't blame her for that. Let's hope she is playing the long game and will kick him into touch as soon as she is over the shock. Poor thing. Well done you, you are a good friend.

Dvg · 04/11/2018 09:07

Poor girl .. What if they do get married.. when you gonna tell her then? Because I tell you she will hate you if you leave it til then. She deserves to know, your neighbour also deserves to know that he was never going to leave and is planning marriage.

Looks like he has both woman blind

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 04/11/2018 09:11

Q

SpikyHair · 04/11/2018 09:19

I'm guessing the 1 and a half blow job thing is because the first time he erm... had a happy ending and the second time he didn't quite get to the finish line...

diddl · 04/11/2018 09:33

It's a shame that his admission of having BJ(s) from someone else isn't enough for your friend just to walk away.

brizzledrizzle · 04/11/2018 09:36

@HavelockVetinari

You, of course, are the epitome of perfect manners on a thread at all times?

It's very rude to get a person's name wrong.

AnotherEmma · 04/11/2018 09:45

Well done for telling her in the end.

The boyfriend and neighbour both sound awful. She is right though, your friend is a mug if she stays with him. I really hope she doesn’t.

Either way I hope she gives the child her surname and not his!

HavelockVetinari · 04/11/2018 13:12

You, of course, are the epitome of perfect manners on a thread at all times?

Yup, that's me! Grin

Seriously though, there's a world of difference between a typo and being too lazy read the whole thread before posting.

hungryhippo90 · 04/11/2018 13:18

I bet he has 1.5 blowies because “he was so guilty he had to stop her...”

MrsChristianTrevelyanGrey · 04/11/2018 15:38

I hope your friend is ok OP 

diddl · 04/11/2018 16:30

"I bet he has 1.5 blowies because “he was so guilty he had to stop her...”"

Presumably then the first one happened because it would have been rude to refuse??

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 04/11/2018 18:15

"Your friend is a fucking mug"

Said the woman whose self esteem is so low she thinks it's fine to offer morning blowies to please a skanky man who has a pregnant partner at home.



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