To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

That children above the age of 10 should be treated like adults at social settings

Salem Well seeing as we cannot agree on language within one small country, no wonder you are struggling from the other side of the world.

I might talk about bread cakes, ginnels, spells, eat my pork pies hot with mushy peas and expect a sausage roll to be a sausage in pastry, while calling sausages in a bread cake a sausage sandwich, but there will be people from other parts of the country that recognise none of these things.

Oh, and I learned that weddings in the UK are two-class/two-caste events. That they have one meal that they have for lunch that they call 'breakfast', after the ceremony that are for the favourites of the bride and groom, and another for the people later that they don't like as much. In my country it is simply one reception after the wedding - that's it. Just one. All who are invited to the wedding, are invited to the reception. Usually the guests head straight to the reception venue while the couple are having photos taken, and then the couple arrive at the venue where the guests are already seated, and welcome the come to their reception.

Also two words: dropped kerb 😂

All famiky members must do their own laundry.
In laws are always the devil incarnate (everyone seems to forget mil managed to raise somebody you loved enough to marry)
At 18 children need no more help unless they are from a split family and at uni in which case the nr parent must pay money to their offspring to help with rent and money to ex partner who has to keep a room for the offspring at holiday time.

If it exists, there's a fetish for it
I believe this to be true

salemBlackCat what is a party pie?

Barbara what are spells? Because I'm guessing it's not something a witch casts...?

My contributions are quite disgusting, so DO NOT Google:
Dragon Butter
Space Docking
Blue Waffle

DH has learnt that anal bleaching isn't dying the hair on your nethers blonde!

That some people actively avoid using any toilet except those in their own home and expect others to do likewise.

Especially God forbid any tradesperson who dares to be able to use a customer's toilet while working in their home.

Phil A spell is a small piece of wood, metal etc that you get stuck under the skin in a finger, aka a splinter.

Kids shouldn't eat fruit apparently as it has sugar in

Also someone could post a reasonably healthy meal and people would pull it apart as not being good enough for a child

That you should LTB if he does anything that you disagree with. ANYTHING.

That getting a childminder, cleaner, better paid job is clearly the solution to all problems and is just a case of clicking your fingers, everyone can afford staff and everyone can get a better job just like that.

That everyone has anxiety.

That everyone hates their mil.

That you mustn’t visit a newborn until they are at least 10 years old and are specifically invited.

Oh and not forgetting what a penisbeaker is.

Thanks Barbara

While half of Mumsnet might say that DCs shouldn't eat fruit because of the sugar, the other half will stealth boast post about prodigious fruit consumption from their DCs that 'inhale fruit' and talk about multiple packs of fruit a day being eaten, with all meals including piles of vegetables so that they don't just merely eat their five a day, but it's 'always seven, nine or ten a day in this house'.

You can get a half hour consultation with a lawyer without having to pay for their time or advice.

That many people confuse bleaching with cleaning.

If it's the bride an invitation to her wedding is a summons, and if you are a guest she is a money-grabbing control freak.

I side with the summons, myself.

If you drink a glass of wine more than twice a year you're an alcoholic.

Four teenagers can share a Dominoes pizza and they won't be hungry.

If your DH so much as tuts at you he's EA and you should LTB, but it's fine for you to tell him to go duck himself on a regular basis

If anyone is every given too much change, even if it's 10p, they return it immediately, even if the shop os 50 miles away, then they log their crime with 101

If you don't eat breakfast you have an eating disorder, Will combust by 11am, will only live to 53 and should be ashamed of yourself

PS you're OP really tickled me, so true!

If you are a step parent you are neither allowed boundaries nor have any obligation to your partners children. Even if you are one of their resident care givers.

That a loo-brush is Satan's short & curlies
and no civilised house has one

If a man talks to another woman it is an emotional affair and you must LTB

FFS. MN tells you NEVER to google "sootikins" - why did you do it? 

AgathaRaisinDetra A good browse of The Urban Dictionary is very educational.

That weddings are an ego trip for the bride and groom and being expected to attend one is a Major Inconvenience.

The only thing more outrageous than being invited to a wedding is of course not being invited - i.e ‘how can my colleague have invited Alison and not me when I’ve worked here for 6 months longer’?