To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

that people think its okay to not have a shower daily

Penis beakers, that people have sex on towels, jizz pants (new one), that people hide away and don't allow visitors even close family when they give birth, oh and that all Mails are Satan and either interfere too much or don't do enough.

MILs

Loads!

No is a complete sentence
A wedding invite is an invitation not a summons. See above about not making excuses for declining
You chose to.have children therefore should never ever ask or expect help from any family under any circumstances. Even if you're bedbpund with the flu and have 4 kids under 5 you soldier on
Lots of people spend a ridiculous amount of time on hobbies such as 3 hours 3 nights a week and one day every weekend and a full weekend a month
My house must be disgusting to lots of people as I don't dust, polish, iron, wipe the walls or doors

That everyone can magic up the financial means for i) a cleaner and
ii) childcare.

That going for a luxury solo spa day is a reasonable and practicable solution for every problem

If your husband/partner does not match up to your expectations 100% of the time you should LTB.

If you want to make your post super anonymous you must state that you have changed some essential details for the sake of discretion (surely it's more discreet to not tell us that you've changed some facts?).

For MN to be able to help you problem solve your relationship/life problem you must first provide evidence that you have been on MN for aaaages.

For example:

"OP: NC for this and changed some small details, but yes I am very MN, penisbeaker, naice ham etc....

Anyway DH has recently taken to wearing a kilt and he is not Scottish. He even wears it to work (He's at the top of his game plastic surgeon)...

MN: LTB"

That a CF isn't actually a control freak as I've thought for months.

Oh yes, your partner's children are strictly there's and you are under no obligation to support them or act motherly/fatherly towards them.

It is reasonable and normal to never answer the front door in the evening or during the day time if you are not expecting guests.

The obsessive cleaning and worries about food hygiene
The endless anxiety
The hatred of traditional weddings and marriage
The advice to LTB on the basis of very little
A niche one- the complete lack of knowledge of phonics and phonology and the idea that RP is a God given template of how to pronounce things otherwise you have something called an 'accent'
I could be here all day...

That asking a 16 year old to look after a younger sibling for an hour on the odd occasion is sidestepping your parental responsibilities.

What a cocklodger is
What a penisbeaker is (I'm still a little confused)
That every problem is solved if you LTB
All people who act out of turn, nastily, oddly (i.e., not as 'one would behave) must have mental health conditions or be 'on the spectrum', rather than just being fuckwits
All dogs are evil
All dog owners must go to hell
Going vegan is clearly the only way forward if you want to be accepted...

HOWEVER! I have also learned that there are some EXCEPTIONALLY decent, kind, caring and lovely people out there, and for that reason, I'm sticking with MN as a 'go to' place if I need to. Thank you, ladies, and gents, for reminding me that humanity is actually ok.

It is reasonable and normal to never answer the front door in the evening or during the day time if you are not expecting guests.

^ This one!

Everyone can afford to "just move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere" at a moment's notice.

I’ve just learned that if you object to having your photo taken without a word the second you open the door to a delivery driver, or you feel uncomfortable about it, you need counselling

all towels must be washed after one use.

Every relationship is firty/fifty, if even for one day it's is fifty one/forty nine... LTB

Read and reread that and it makes no sense to me. Could you please explain?
TIA

I’ve never come across so many virtue signallers / explanations for shit behaviour / denial or observable reality on here.

In the real world however, people can quite easily judge who the wrongens are.

Scrub that, I get it. You are saying every relationship should be 50/50 between partners, yes?

@73kittycat73 think she meant every relationship is 50/50 but if for one day the ratios change to 49/51 then you automatically have to LTB.

in east Anglia you probably might not an ambulance for several days until both limbs are hanging off (apologies to ambulance people this isn't a criticism of you its the fact that there are not enough of you, or ambulances or people working in a & e)

Penis Beaker
MILs are apparently the devil (mine was an absolute angel, loved her to bits)
Baby Showers are deemed to be the worst thing on the planet (i think they're fun...)

That when you go on twitter you can identify other MNers by subtle 'cue' words and phrases eg, "Brian from Hull", or "Lemon Drizzle".

That anyone who wants a child free wedding is inhuman and will die alone and bitter even if there isn't actually a small child in the family.

That all teachers are crap, selfish, pick on the children of MNers and have too much holiday.

You must never answer the door to anyone ever, not unless they have rang ahead and made an appointment, this includes family.

Taking deliveries for a neighbour makes you a saint and the neighbour a complete cheeky fucker.

Answering the phone to an unknown number is unheard of.

Not locking your door behind you when you are in the house invaladates your insurance.