To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

I have just learned there is such a thing as a posh wank. Which is not nearly half as amusing as Salem loosing their shit about fags

I have a few lesbian friends. If I spoke to any of them about the dukes in Holland they would not be offended. Neither would my gay friends if I offended a fag.

I don't know why you're so offended.

It’s English equivalent in both meaning and rudeness is cunt.

I’m off to Style and Beauty to tell them to pack it in.

(Part of me hopes the Coon cheese has seen off salemblackcat4's fag argument but part of me wants to see her comeback.)

Ah yes, how could I have forgotten the first time I heard "I can't come in today, I've got a bit of a w-g"?

No!
Reminds me of this bit in Fawlty Towers.
I don’t remember what they say now when it gets repeated. I think the channel will say that it was different times.

Forgot the link.

Warning. Features the n-word. m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns0uRr6aPQE

Why handbag? Did they once see Queenie smacking their beloved Prince Philip round the head with hers?

No. I think that they confused handbag as a word for lady parts.

That was before the queen went there anyway.

Apart from anything else, I’m not sure Salem is right about ‘fag’ for cigarette being a purely British term. In Prisoner Cell Block H - made in her 110% non-offensive Australia - they regularly used the term. I know it was made 40 years ago and times have changed, but even if people don’t use the term there now, it proves it was wrong to suggest it was never used there.

sweeny I always thought that was when the valet took care of your husbands wank for him.

That I am clearly the only sane individual here.

@eddiemairswife Wouldn't that be a bit sexist? They should really remove the name completely because it might offend some thereagain Richard could be gender neutral so.......

If there was ever a prime example that this forum could do with an "ignore poster" button, this thread would be it.

That daughters must not wear make up, because by doing so they are jeopardising mum's feminist principles.

That the magic of Santa is absolutely paramount. There is only one acceptable day for children to learn the truth: the day before they start senior school.

That school visits to churches and other places of worship cause "indoctrination". Ditto Noah's Ark toys given as presents, and a minute of silence.

That if you threaten to cancel a child or teenager's birthday party in a moment of anger, you must always, always, ALWAYS follow through, even if they will remember this for ever, and resent you for it.

I think my sister would be more offended if I called her a fag then if I offered her one

Yes to the 'ignore poster's button 😀

Dukes in Holland??? I have fat fingers and ppoy eyesight.

I have learned that there’s a lot of finding and lining up of ducks going on. More than I thought was possible. (Which if I’m honest on the finding of ducks was zero, didn’t know they needed to be found. As for their lining up in a row whilst I’ve never done it personally I knew it could be done, just not as frequently.)

When did the coon cheese thing happen? I must have missed that.

I am also pretty sure that if ever n**r was used a name of a colour, it was named after the people the word was used for. So linked to the offensive term.

As other people have said, British English has a different, unrelated meaning for fag. Just as the Spanish have another meaning for negro, the Dutch have another meaning for dyke, and bint means something else in Arabic.

Incidentally, in China, a word that sounds very similar to n**r means "that one" , and is often used as a filler, like "you know" or "um". As a person of colour, I could have been horrendously offended when I visited. Instead I realised that it meant something else and was unrelated to the offensive term.

The colour was n**r brown. It was the colour of my school uniform. People (in the UK) honestly didn't know it was offensive. Also children learnt the nursery rhyme, and there was the Agatha Christie book, the title of which was changed to 'Ten Little Indians', and later to 'And Then There Were None'.

Dontcallmecharlotte that has to be the finest moment of comedy timing ever - like a hilarious courtroom drama reveal!

I hope they don't rename faggots as meatballs as I don't like faggots but like meatballs. I also go out for a fag - usually with my gay neighbour who doesn't bat an eyelid at the term.

I've learnt so much from number - that there are some genuinely lovely, funny and kind people out there from all walks of life but there are also a lot of professionally offended keyboard warriers and it worries me that they walk amongst us........

Faggots aren't the same as meat balls thoigh, are they?

throughtheeyeofaneedle

I thank you.