To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

That you should never an open pushchair on to a bus, even an one, because other people used to have to fold theirs / carry triplets in their arms along with a weeks shipping and still managed all its selfish and entitled to use the spaces provided.

Weddings and babies are a huge bore to entwine and no one cares / really wants to go / is interested in any way

There are a lot of ‘only on MN’ type responses on this thread, but if we’re talking about things we’ve genuinely learned from MN, I’ve learned that it’s surprisingly common for people to give their peers cash as a wedding gift. I’m perhaps unusual in that I haven’t been to that many weddings, but I’ve only known older relatives give cash as presents - and usually to young couples just starting out. The idea that you would give cash to a couple your own age or similar who already live together seems ridiculous to me.

Also, every wedding I’ve ever been to or even heard about has had a main reception and an evening do. This is apparently the ultimate insult according to some MN users. One poster even referred to it as a ‘two-caste system’ on this very thread. She actually compared being invited to an evening do to the caste system.

Isn't the word 'handicapped' still in widespread use in the US? That is considered outdated and offensive in the UK.
Wrt use of the word 'handicapped' - the title of the 'Americans with Disabilities Act' should clue you in on whether 'handicapped' is acceptable. The contents of the Act itself should alert you to the fact that the rights of the disabled are taken seriously.

The US can have some ridiculous attitudes to language, like the blurring out of Tyson Gay's last name on a published photograph of him...
Well actually, that was one website, but let's just say 'the US'

...and the insistence of referring to black people as 'African American' even when they are neither African or American.
This is a mystery to me, and if you have any examples from all over the US over a long period of time I would like to see them.

Based on this and many other MN posts and even threads, I would say that one thing I have learned is how little is known of the US on MN, and yet how acceptable it is to be casually anti-American.

You may use the dowstair loo in someone else's home only for wee, never poo. You may not use an upstairs loo. If you are tradesperson working on the house or garden, you must not use any loo of theirs at all.

@PanGalacticGargleBlaster They apparently shove their hand down the pan to scrub off the shit stains with a sponge and then throw both away every time anyone has a shit (or bleach and put back on the kitchen sink?). Failing that they just shove their bare hand down the bog and scrub out the shit and wash hands well after? As clearly more hygienic than a bog brush 🤔 Although some apparently sterilize theirs in the dishwasher alongside the dishes...

I meant to say 'Marigolds' and then throw them away. Clearly they wouldn't dispose of their hands everytime they scrub the toilet 😂... Although on MN...

...I gathered from some posts on the topic of loo brushes that there is a widespread misapprehension that they are used as poo sticks. Hence the disgust at having one and keeping it right beside the loo.

Being habitually late is totally acceptable 

That one must prefix H,M,S,D,GM,SD, with D, was one of the ver first things I learned.

Since then, I've learned how amazingly supportive, generous, and life-saving MNers can be.

How commonly a thread can get descended upon with huge irony, swearing and name-calling, and not recognise the irony.

That some glorious swearing goes on and some threads are absolutely fucking hilarious!

That you can be called out on incorrect spelling!! Yes, I have seen it!

CF, a recent realisation
That leaving MN for any lengthy period of time means you lose your 2nd language skills very quickly and the dictionary has been considerably added to.

That many missed the memo about the tampons down the loo, or rather not.

That MN is so diverse.

That MNers never seem to heed warnings to not Google things things when no amount of mind bleach will ever be enough

That spiders rub their willies on your laundry hung on outside washing line

That NRTTATWT or NRTWT is heinous crime

That some expect babies to eat in toilets!

The reason we have pom bear emoji's, and the day that happened was historic.

The existence of penis beakers and fanny gallops.

Well I could just go on....

If you close your bedroom door at night you might as well hand yourself into social services.

Teachers can do no wrong, and even if they admit doing something heinous other posters will gloss over that and insist you are lying.

It is morally indefensible not to have passed your driving test.

There are two groups of people in the world, those who think half a dry ryvita is plenty of food for a main meal, and those who think eight Big Macs is a light snack. Both will critique your child’s sandwich and yoghurt packed lunch.

If your BMI is 35 it can only be because you are an athlete, and there is certainly no chance that you are fat.

Horrible people over 65 have dementia, horrible people under 65 have autism. Horrible children just have ill-defined “SEN”.

A white van man parked in a P&C space to eat his lunch almost certainly has hidden disabilities so that is perfectly fine and you should just buy a people carrier if you have trouble getting your baby’s car seat out of a small hatchback in a confined space the week after a c-section.

That theres some plate-lickerists on MN, and if you post something unpalatable/unreasonable to some you must be DRUNK.

What Math you throw them off a bridge and watch them race down the river

I genuinely love eating faggots am not aware of another word for them. We cannot cleanse the world of all the words that mean something offensive in another country's language!
Who created the offensive word fag, cos in UK its never been used offensively.

On a genuine note - that people care. That they'll go out of their way to reach out to others. That complete strangers can rally together to offer a support network from lost teddy bears, scoping a property area that someone might have been offered a council house in, rehoming a pet when someone is struggling. MN can offer a level of kindness that probably can't be surpassed at times.

That there's someone else in the world that bum wadges

Having family or friends round to your house for food or a party is called hosting.

OP will drip feed that they have anxiety if a thread isn't going their way.

In fact most people have anxiety.

That a 17yr old Au Pair is ungrateful if they don't offer 24/7 wrap around care, cook dinner, clean the house for £70pwk, and then invites a friend to meet them at the front door without a full DBS check. If they're remotely good looking they're obviously eager to have an affair with the OP's 50yr old partner.

Someone particular in mind flying ? That sounds very specific gripe, rather than in spirit of the thread.

Shrieking More a collaboration comment off the back of some recent threads. I have a relative whose just ended a brilliant Au Pair placement. Unfortunately it seems a minority of posters on MN have nothing but negative/weird things to say regarding young folk taking on that role in their homes. I just find it depressing it might possibly influence others.

More light-hearted... You must paint your front door in MN sage green, you shouldn't buy paint off the shelf (you need to get a F&B colour match in B&Q, and then tell everyone it's an F&B colour), you need to despair about M&S lowering standards whilst bulk buying from Primark (nothing wrong with that). You should own a Jo Malone £105 candle which you'll never light because it's ridiculously expensive and you'll end up dusting it which is mental. You shouldn't let standards drop to the point of not blow drying your hair 3hrs after a c-section. However you shouldn't allow a relative to visit your baby for at least 3 weeks after you've given birth so you can bond.

Here's a controversial one: that anyone who doesn't remove their pubic hair is a weirdo.

That your time is not your own. Because you saw the neighbours kid run out in their underwear once they are obviously neglected and lonely so it doesn't matter what plans you have you should prioritise turning it into an opportunity to teach kindness to your own kids even if that means the door bell going non stop until 10 0 clock at night .

And that you should jump at the chance to provide long term unpaid services for neighbours. Even if they have barely spoken to you since the post office queue 2006 . The entire lack.of services and every One else's employment flexibility or lack of is a privilege to burden yourself with and you should sigle handedly ensure that everyone else is ok and teach your kid to be a doormat when even their own families don't help out.

Talking of cafés, DO NOT take your seat before you have your food. Even if you're in a big group. You must all stand in the queue and find a seat after buying your food.

@Shriekingbanshee what is with the bears?

Talking of cafés, DO NOT take your seat before you have your food. Even if you're in a big group. You must all stand in the queue and find a seat after buying your food.

Don't most cafés have signs up asking you to do exactly that though?