How reliant are you on your partner?

[purplelass]

Another thread has got me thinking - how much do you rely on your partner and how much reliance on another person is OK?

I'd shared a home with my ExH for 23 years so suddenly being a single mum to a teenager was a bit of a shock! However, it turned out that I am as strong, clever, stubborn and brave as I need to be. I very rarely need to ask my now DP for help with anything, which may be partly to do with the fact we don't live together, but I really enjoy my independence and love the sense of achievement I get from doing things for myself!

I'm concerned when women post on here that they are so reliant on their DP / DH for anything - you never know what's around the corner and having been there, done that, I do believe that independence is so important, even in a loving mutually supportive relationship.

I am disabled so I am very reliant on my DH, he works from home so he can help me whenever I need it.

I'm massively dependent at the moment, mostly writing this as a thank you to him even though he won't find it. When I collapsed in February he found me having a seizure and phoned for the ambulance. I was unconscious for 2 days, reason still unknown. If he hadn't been there, all 3 times as the hospital sent me home when I was still very ill twice? I wouldn't be here
He helped me get better, still on going. He drives me everywhere I need to be as I'm not allowed to drive. He covers all my bills as I shifted to part time then lost my job altogether. I am trying to build up in work I can do from home and he has not complained once even though I know it is very stressful for him. I have always been self reliant all my life and it's hard to have to accept but he is really amazing.

Financially, yes, as I gave up my job to go abroad with him after he got a couple of foreign postings (HM Forces). After he retired he got another job abroad, so i stayed as well.

Emotionally, yes, we've been together 33 years and married 32.
However, having had to cope without him on many occasions when he was at sea over the years, I can cope perfectly well without him.

I can only be in one place at one time, so doing two school runs simultaneously an hour away from each other would be a bit tricky without DH. If necessary I guess I could hire professional help for one of them.

I can’t drive safely and DH can but that’s what taxis and trains are for.

The thing I really couldn’t do is support my parents if DH wasn’t here to look after the DC at weekends. I’d have to cut visits down drastically.

explodingkitten i think that's sad, though do agree young people today seem very pampered! There is a middle way. I was raised to be very independent (shown how to change a light bulb and wire a plug at 7) and was expected to be independent with certain tasks but could ask for support when needed and would be shown how to do things.

Much better than an old housemate of mine who sat in the darkness for 2 days when I went away for a weekend because she'd tripped a fuse, had no idea fuses even existed and wanted to call an electrician!

I am the main earner, so not at all in the practical/financial sense. I'd be lonely if he left, though.

I think I rely on my partner for most DIY things. I could do it myself but he actually likes doing it. I’d never be able to use a drill for instance, but thats through my fear of loud and I couldn’t be using it and hiding in another room at the same time. I relied on him a lot when I first moved here as I didn’t know my way around and I fell pregnant so moved in with him. He does bins etc but I’m capable of doing so. We are both on benefits so financially I guess we are the same. His name is on the claim but the money for the kids is in my name. If we were to split, he would be more screwed than I would I think. I can cope better with the everyday and generally do most of the cleaning, he tends to do most of the childcare and drop offs etc due to my mental health but I will make myself leave the house if needed. I rely on him a lot emotionally which can’t be healthy but he is all I’ve had for five years. I’ve had family but we fall out but I’ve had zero friends until recently so everything was with him.

Sort of a little financially dependent but I have saved up a fair bit so that if the worst happened I wouldn't be on my uppers.
Emotionally not at all, I like my own company and don't need anyone to prop me up.

Agree with Whirly, his salary does enable us to have a comfortable life style but I would happily down size if I was on my own and be perfectly happy. I do not need him for ‘emotional’ reasons, being honest I would be happier totally alone. I don’t find family life particularly fulfilling.
We have our own ‘jobs’ around the house purely for convenience; crucially we both owned our own homes, and lived alone, before we got together so we are both fully competent adults capable of managing a home. There are some tasks I find challenging, IT related mainly, but I know where I could outsource help if I needed to.