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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
AloeVeraDuckworth · 29/10/2018 00:32

He would but I would never ask him to go out at this time for water.

snapnfarter · 29/10/2018 00:33

Mine would. In fact he'd offer, but I wouldn't ask him. Particularly not for sparkling water. And I never make a big deal of my period. It grates badly with me when women think they need special treatment because they are menstruating. Woman up, ffs. It's not that bad.

theworldistoosmall · 29/10/2018 00:41

For a 'treat'? No.
If asked to do the same would tell him to jog on down to the shop himself.
It's a bit of period pain (yes I know how bad it can get). But knock back some pain relieve and go for a walk whilst waiting for them to take effect.

MrsStrowman · 29/10/2018 00:52

If it was something I needed, pain killers, tampons etc yes he would, lemon drink -no. I'm eight months pregnant, not very well and have bad pelvic pain that means I'm hardly able to walk, so at the moment I could probably push my luck and he would, but not for period pains.

hungryhippo90 · 29/10/2018 00:53

My husband would, I wouldn’t ask for water though.

Sorry your periods are bad though.

Choccywoccyhooha · 29/10/2018 00:57

Mine would. But I wouldn't ask. He offered to go and get me apple and blackcurrant squash the other night at about 11pm (five minute drive away), but I told him not to bother.

Kittycuddles · 29/10/2018 00:58

Yesterday my dp went out in the rain and dark to walk the 10 minute round trip (mot including being IN the shop) to get me pads and chocolate:)

He even wrote down the right pads names and rung me whilst there to check GrinGrin

So yes

Wait

No you are NOT BU I know how periods can make you so emotionally up n down m shit and simple things can make you feel better.

hungryhippo90 · 29/10/2018 00:58

I do think that some people are misunderstanding how bad some peoples periods can be though.

MrsStrowman · 29/10/2018 01:03

I'm definitely not misunderstanding how bad periods can be, I have had ovarian cysts, periods so heavy and frequent they made me anaemic severe pain and lethargy like I couldn't even lift my head. I wouldn't ask DH to go and get me fizzy water in the cold and rain at this time on a Sunday night. As I said before painkillers, sanitary products yes, lemon drink because I fancy it, absolutely not. YABU, also everyone knows the pomegranate San Pellegrino is the best one.

gluteustothemaximus · 29/10/2018 01:13

God I thought women understood periods.

I am housebound for the first 4/5 days as way too much blood loss. They last for 7/8 days. Pain used to be like labour contractions but have improved now. If not, codeine helps.

Also migraine, sickness, and diarrhoea.

Fucking hate periods. They are debilitating.

They are not the kind where you wear white and go zip wiring Hmm

gluteustothemaximus · 29/10/2018 01:14

In answer to your question, yes, DH would get me a treat and does when I feel shit.

LinoleumBlownapart · 29/10/2018 01:15

it would depend on how he felt and what the weather was like. He may or may not. He once went miles for an Indian snack when I was pregnant and out in the rain once because I fancied a cold drink. I wouldn't ask him though, I just mentioned that I wanted them and he said he would go and get them. I wouldn't ask him to go out late at night just because I fancied something.

7salmonswimming · 29/10/2018 01:15

I wouldn’t ask him. Because if I did he’d probably say yes, and I’d feel bad asking him to go outdoors at that time of night for some lemonade. I love him, and it’s nice to be kind to each other.

ICJump · 29/10/2018 01:20

Maybe but I probably wouldn’t ask. He folds my reusable pads I figure he’s helping me in my period enough.

Shriekingbanshee · 29/10/2018 01:28

gluteus wearing white and zip wire>Halloween Grin
Before DC mine were like that, and with OP near to tears I want to go out and get something nice for her!
It whatever helps to alleviate the suffering, and treats always help when suffering, I'd do, and do do the same with dds painful period days. One gets very sick feeling, without so much pain but makes her feel so weirded out, and something like that sparkling lemon she would love as a cheery treat. Brew Biscuit ?

Rebecca36 · 29/10/2018 01:29

Mine would but there are some inconsiderate bu*rs about unfortunately.

Make sure you have stuff on hand for the future.

Shriekingbanshee · 29/10/2018 01:31

gluteus wearing white and zip-wire Halloween Grin - a case for WWHHHAAAA bodyform...bodyform for yoooooo

DistanceCall · 29/10/2018 01:34

I understand asking for treats when you are ill.

You get your periods once a month. That's not an illness. (And if you systematically feel like shit, go to the doctor - a GOOD doctor - because it really shouldn't be that way).

If you feel like having lemonade when you are having your period, stock up yourself.

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 29/10/2018 01:42

Yeah I think mine would

BinkyandBunty · 29/10/2018 01:44

You need to request a soda stream for Christmas OP!

Shriekingbanshee · 29/10/2018 01:48

What will doctor do please? (Apart from the obvs,go home take otc pain meds, hot water bottle,go for a run and fall over )

pallisers · 29/10/2018 02:20

This is my opinion, no doubt some people would think I’m stupid, but I just wouldn’t dream of asking him to put himself out for me.

I don't think you are stupid at all. I do think you set your expectations very low.

Bitchbe · 29/10/2018 02:24

Shriekingbanshee it depends. If the pain is so bad they can check there isn't a problem like endometriosis or cysts.
My teen has tablets which make the period lighter and more manageable.
Before I had my hysterectomy I had injections to lesson the endometriosis.

pallisers · 29/10/2018 02:29

I understand asking for treats when you are ill.

You get your periods once a month. That's not an illness.

No not an illness but it can be a chronic time of pain and misery. Lots of things aren't an illness by the way but chronic conditions.

But am intruiged by the concept that you can "ask for treats' from the person you love and who loves you only if you are ill. Otherwise you stock up yourself because it doesn't meet the threshold of "illness deserving treats". Do people really live happily in relationships like this - I am genuinely amazed. You say to your loved one "I am feeling like utter crap, terrible cramps, could you please get me some lemon fizzy as it would cheer me up" and when he says "no you are not ill you just have a period so no" you think "he's right, I shouldn't have asked, I'm a brat - ah so glad I married him - he's a gem and a keeper".

I think some people have no idea how nice others are in their relationships and have a very very low bar for what a decent relationship looks like (not saying this to OP who says this was not normal for her partner hence her posting - but the replies!).

Unicyclethief · 29/10/2018 03:03

Yes, he probably would, but I probably wouldn’t ask him, because I am not a pathetic big baby. If it was painkillers or tampax, he would go in a heartbeat, but I am more than capable of looking after myself.