Period- what your DP do this?

[Leder]

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

@ namechangedto Your living situation/housemates sound fun!! It's just my 3yr old & I here and it gets very, very lonely!

I think a lot of people here are not being very understanding of OP's condition! It's not 'just' a normal period pain when you have endometriosis. It's agony, you can vomit, have diarrhoea, be in the worst possible cramping ever- and barely anything to relieve it. If lemon water helps then I'd go and get some for her and would expect my partner to do the same for me!

I'm often crippled with my period pain and am under assessment for endometriosis. It's not just a once a month occurrence either, it's quite often regular pain and pain during sex too.

OP I feel for you, do you have some ibuprofen at hand (I find that helps most for me, or feminax) and maybe have a warm bath? Eating is the last thing on my mind when I'm cramping so I get you wanting a nice refreshing drink that appeals to you.

Hope the pain subsides soon xx
@Leder

i'm nonplussed because, on the whole, we tend to do this sort of thing for each other. And I don't consider myself a brat/spoiled because it's reciprocated. For example, I picked up lunch yesterday but the deli didn't include his favourite component (basically the reason we go to this particular place). I got back in the car to get it even though he told me not to bother. It's just what I'm used to, even my parents would do the same when I was a child. It's hardly an outrageous request.

Mine wouldn't go but I also wouldn't ask unless it was an emergency.

My ExH would and did (actually, I wasn’t even suffering at the time. He was just a love)

My current DP... I’d never ask because I don’t think he would.

We can’t measure them all by the same yard stick, though. (I think I’m getting that saying rather wrong?)

Yes, mine would. I wouldn't ask him though these days, I would ask DS instead and have done in the past - sometimes I have fancied a McDonalds milkshake and DS and I go out on a foraging mission.

I get really bad period pains on the first day too, when I'm feeling sorry for myself my boyfriend offers to do things like cook dinner, get me a hot water bottle, rub my belly/back, and also makes sure there is a stash of ibuprofen, cans of coke, wispas in the house .

But he is in bed by 10pm most nights before work, so I wouldn't ask him this late on a Sunday tbh.

(I wouldn't ask DH because of his poor health, rather than any reluctance on his part)

I suffer from endo and I too am on day 1 of my period - I'm currently huddled in the corner of the sofa with two hot water bottles battling through the agony of the day that's in it.

I've wanted Ben and Jerry's for two days now. Once kids were in bed I took two painkillers, waited for them to kick in enough to take the edge off the pain and jumped in the car to get some. Hubby had already had a beer so I didn't want to ask him.

But he would have gone.

Our shops are only 3 mins away though.

The irony, once I ate dinner (which he cooked), I didn't fancy it anymore!

Bless you Leder. I know exactly where you’re coming from (although I don’t think my parents ever did it! But my brother and I both have this inbuilt generosity that would make us go get that special thing). I know that it hurts sometimes when it’s not reciprocated. X

I agree with Pallisers. It doesn't hurt to be nice.

Did he offer to get you a nice cup of tea instead? Or fill a hot water bottle? Or give you a back rub?

Thanks for the kind messages.

I rarely have 'javelin arse' on day 2. Hope anyone else down in the dumps wakes up feeling better.

mathanxiety he did hoover again so I could sit in a cosy living room to watch F1.

Mine would if so asked him. However, I wouldn’t ask him to go out at this time for anything for me.

so = I

Loving how folks don't get how painful endometriosis can be. It's not just being a princess about having a period.
Though my dh would question if I really needed it or not....I'd have about a 50/50 chance of him going....though in reality I'd probably not even ask him to go unless it was for sanitary products, pain killers or alcohol.

Yes he would and I would for him. Fortunately it’s not something that’s ‘tested’ very often or I dare say one of us might get fed up with it.

If going to the shop at night is quite common for you both, I can see why you’re upset about him saying no when you’re feeling crap

Go to sleep, it’ll seem less of an issue tomorrow.

He would if I asked. But I wouldn't ask him to go out at a late hour for water no. Its a bit selfish.

In couldn't agree more than kindness is a cornerstone of any healthy, loving relationship.

But perhaps some of us look at it another way.

I consider it a kindness not to ask DH to go out late at night for me. That's the kindness.

As I said upthread, I prefer it when he does nice things for me off his own bat - which he does - not when I have to ask.

P.S. are MN smilies not coming up on posts for anyone else...?

I’d never ask so late. However, if it was for pills or tampons etc, DP would go but not a bottle of pop ( I’d get a cuppa made for me instead).

Yes I'd ask and yes he'd go.

It wouldn't be a big deal.

YANBU.

I wouldn't expect him to, tbh

I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't be happy disturbing him for a non-essential.

Yes he would, but I wouldn't 😳😵