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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 28/10/2018 23:12

There is something really 'damsel in distress' about this, that's so off-putting.

I'd rather DH do something nice for me of his own volition, than because I'm whining from the sofa at him.

QOD · 28/10/2018 23:12

Actual LOL @AiryFairy

Original poster
Leder · 28/10/2018 23:13

Would you be willing to go out in the cold and the rain to get him something he wanted but didn't need ?

Of course- if not for him, who else?

OP posts:
Bouchie · 28/10/2018 23:14

I have awful period pain as 9 have fibroids. Crippling makes me gasp and bend down in agony shite. Annoyingly DH is a medic and knows that movement and exercise is the best thing for it so would make me walk there. That said he makes me a brew most mornings as I am a lazy sod first thing where as he is as cherpy as Mary Poppins.

Bouchie · 28/10/2018 23:14

9 = I

Original poster
Leder · 28/10/2018 23:16

You're being a brat.

I know.

I've come up to bed now anyway.

OP posts:
Purplefrogshoes · 28/10/2018 23:18

My husband would and has gone out to buy me Coke zero or chocolate late at night to make me feel better

SparkleBanana · 28/10/2018 23:19

Yes, but wouldn’t ask. If he’s 3 minutes away so would I be so I’d go myself, it would kill some time or we’d go together.

I would never compare chemo to period pains either Hmm

GetOffTheTableMabel · 28/10/2018 23:20

I cannot get over the notion that anyone (in pretty much any circumstance, except perhaps being lost in a desert) could be materially cheered up by some lemon flavoured water. Perhaps this comes from a place of privilege. My periods can be kept in order with 2 ibuprofen. It seems so weird to think that you are incapacitated with pain but flavoured water could be a treat to lift your spirits. I know my dh would get me anything at anytime but I cannot identify with the idea of a cheering soft drink. Sorry. I do hope you feel better soon.

Birdie69 · 28/10/2018 23:22

Of course he'd go.....but he'd think I was being childish and I'd agree. First day of your period ?? Really ?? Geeze Louise, go get your own sparkly water.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 28/10/2018 23:22

He would. But i wouldn't ask.

I cant drive and we live in a village closest shop is atleast an hours walk away

OhEctoplasmOnIt · 28/10/2018 23:22

Nope, but I have endometriosis and he would do it in a heartbeat for painkillers etc, as he is used to doing. But not for lemon water, fml. That's not even a treat.

pallisers · 28/10/2018 23:24

Of course- if not for him, who else?

This sums it up for me. I do things for DH I wouldn't necessarily do for anyone else. Because I love him the best of anyone bar our children. I like being nice to him. He likes being nice to me. That request for water would have him going out and me telling him he was brilliant when he got back. He would have considered the few minutes going out well worth it because he would have done something kind and I would have really appreciated it.

. Yeah we all want equality etc but isn't the point of the most intimate, personal relationship of your life that you are nice to each other - like nice way over the normal nice you do to friends and acquaintances?

I honestly don't get a lot of the relationships on MN which seem terribly transactional - he goes to football, you go on a spa day. You each contribute to the common pot and no obligation to help out your partner if he/she is short - you are an adult dontcha know which seems to mean your partnership is just about having sex (although highly amused at people telling OP that she should be an adult while other people telling her she is a brat)

Sallystyle · 28/10/2018 23:28

If I was in a lot of pain I am sure he would. He has popped out a few times for me for chocolate just because I fancied it and at times he has said no and that is fair enough.

Original poster
Leder · 28/10/2018 23:28

GetOffTheTableMabel isn't chocolate+period a common trope? I don't eat chocolate so some San Pellegrino Lemon would just make me feel better for whatever reason

OP posts:
olivesarelife · 28/10/2018 23:30

pallisers spot on.

Jlynhope · 28/10/2018 23:31

Painkillers yes, treat no. I would just go myself, but I have endometriosis so generally when I have cramps they are immobilizing.

Sallystyle · 28/10/2018 23:32

This sums it up for me. I do things for DH I wouldn't necessarily do for anyone else. Because I love him the best of anyone bar our children. I like being nice to him. He likes being nice to me.

This. I like being kind and DH likes being kind. Like I said there have been times when he has said no for various reasons but if I was in pain and fancied something from the shops I can't imagine not asking him because we both like helping each other out, especially when one is feeling shitty.

Maelstrop · 28/10/2018 23:32

Why can’t you go yourself?

Mine would, but crucially, I wouldn’t ever ask him because it’s a bloody cheek. This is my opinion, no doubt some people would think I’m stupid, but I just wouldn’t dream of asking him to put himself out for me.

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 28/10/2018 23:34

Just said to oh "I fancy some blood red orange pellegrino". He went to put his shoes on and asked wanted a picnic too. I'm not on my period and didn't ask him to go to the shop (also 3 mins away).

I'm very independent and not at all princessy. We are having a cuppa and some toast instead, I'm making it.

Periods can be awful. If I said I was feeling ill he'd definitely go to the shops and I would for him.

FascinatingCarrot · 28/10/2018 23:34

Get some in for next time. And any other 'treats' that you may forsee.

Ridiculous.

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 28/10/2018 23:34

No DP but me and my other two female housemates 'synced up' and one of our male housemates when he walked into the room saw us lying on the sofas with blankets, pillows, teddies, watching girly films and eating chinese takeaway with pink vodka and lemonade he just nodded said Ok this is happening then. Cooked his tea and joined us in the living room. When our food delivery (a very obvious online shop of alcohol and chocolate) he unpacked and put it away for us before making us hot chocolate Grin. When our other two male housemates came in they just groaned, laughed and made period jokes and joined us for hot chocolate. Needles to say I love my flatshare. Luckily I all our male housemates have sisters so are aware of what happens and how to diffuse the crazy that may occur.

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 28/10/2018 23:35

Cross post about san pellegrino. Fizzy lemon water made me fancy blood red orange pellegrino.

tulippa · 28/10/2018 23:35

Yeah mine probably would but I don't think I'd ask him. I'd go myself if I was that desperate.

VladmirsPoutine · 28/10/2018 23:39

Name That sounds like a sort of cringe-inducing advert Tampax would come out with.