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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 11:04

Now, even not pregnant- if I woke him in the middle of the night and said I wanted a cream cake, pistachio ice cream and the freshly squeezed juice of 4 mediterranean lemons he would do his damndest to try and get it for me. He would likely manage to find the first two but would offer to buy me a ticket to find a lemon tree abroad so I can squeeze my own for freshness right from the source. Because he loves me and likes to indulge me in things that make me happy. Just like I like to trawl ebay looking for guitar bargains or make his favourite dinner to make HIM happy

I can imaging your husband on a parallel thread dadsnet asking if he BIU to that his wife trawling through ebay or making his favourite dinner is just not comparable to what he does for her by getting up in the middle of the night and going on an ice cream hunt.

noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 11:04

aargh, typos!

Havaina · 29/10/2018 11:05

I also think people who insist on San Pellegrino or Perrier or Evian are too brand obsessed.

Also, I would avoid sparking water when I have period pain as it can cause gas and bloating due to the release of carbon dioxide into the digestive system

Racecardriver · 29/10/2018 11:06

Probably but I wouldn’t ask tbh.

JacquesHammer · 29/10/2018 11:06

Serious question - how would you cope if you lived on your own?

This was me.

I planned meticulously and even then was sometimes caught out.

Fortunately my ex was kind enough to still be a help. As I was to him when he had a need once in a blue moon.

I have for about 18 months found a medication that has controlled my periods for the first time since 2009. I can actually function as a normal adult even during my period now, which is a revelation.

Havaina · 29/10/2018 11:07

I can imaging your husband on a parallel thread dadsnet asking if he BIU to that his wife trawling through ebay or making his favourite dinner is just not comparable to what he does for her by getting up in the middle of the night and going on an ice cream hunt.

I agree it's not comparable - her husband has a great deal! Dinner cooked for him every night in return for a (presumably rare) request for 3am ice cream.

Oldraver · 29/10/2018 11:07

Yes he would.

We went away for the weekend to a cottage and we stop at a Tesco on the way. He went back inside and came out with some soft toilet paper under his arm.

He said he knew I had sore areas bum and wasn't sure if the cottage would have decent paper so bought some for me

JacquesHammer · 29/10/2018 11:07

Havaina

I'm the opposite - I find fizzy drinks make pain killers work way more quickly so always try to have a can of something in if necessary.

Havaina · 29/10/2018 11:09

I might have to try that Jacques.

ParkheadParadise · 29/10/2018 11:10

Mine would. When Dd1 died my sister was staying with us. I hadn't slept or eaten properly for weeks. At 3am my sister decided she wanted a McDonald's.
DH went out and got us one.
He has also gone out for a dummy in the middle of the night when dd was a newborn.
I would also go and get him anything he wanted late at night.

Original poster
Leder · 29/10/2018 11:20

Wow didn't expect so many responses. The thread has definitely made me appreciate my family (parents, siblings, husband etc) who on the whole tend to want to spoil each other if one us is down in the dumps. We don't see it as an imposition.

When my sister was doing her exams I would often go buy a bag of doughnuts at silly o'clock just to see her slightly less miserable.

OP posts:
ladycarlotta · 29/10/2018 11:23

He might do it - he's very kind - but I wouldn't expect him to, and I feel like that's what rubs me up the wrong way about the OP and her subsequent posts? Like constant whining that he hasn't, and explaining how close the shop is, and how they do this stuff because they love each other.

Well, I love my partner, and part of that IMO is not sending him out in the cold at 10.30pm on a sunday for lemonade. If he offered to do a painkiller run - or if I asked him to - I might combine that with a request for a few nice bits that I fancied, but I definitely wouldn't send him out just for that.

Hannnnnnnxo · 29/10/2018 11:24

To be honest I’m going to side with him, because flavoured water is a bit silly to leave the house for at 11pm. Fair enough if you wanted pain killers, other medicine, pads/tampons, a more substantial food list etc. But JUST flavoured water? Is that worth leaving the house for?

I’m assuming you have access to water at home, and could probably wait until the morning for your lemon water?

Original poster
Leder · 29/10/2018 11:25

constant whining

did I really?

OP posts:
ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 29/10/2018 11:26

@JacquesHammer may I ask what medication you're referring to? I'm on the waiting list for a hysterectomy having tried tranexamic acid, mefanemic acid, a failed mirena coil and a failed endometrial ablation. Just hoping there might be something else I haven't tried!

bellinisurge · 29/10/2018 11:27

Yeah, op, I chuckled at the constant whining jibe too. Hope you feel better soon.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 29/10/2018 11:29

Btw hope you are feeling better today OP. To answer your question yes my DH would, but he might think again if I started taking the piss by asking him too often (not implying that's what you've done).

theWarOnPeace · 29/10/2018 11:29

Mine wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t ask to be honest. Painkillers if desperate, or towels/tampons then yes he would and I would ask - and have done before. Very rarely would happen though as I stockpile pretty much every essential going!

JacquesHammer · 29/10/2018 11:32

ACatsNoHelpWithThat

It’s actually a form of the mini pill with the same active ingredient as mirena.

I currently don’t meet criteria for treatment in my PCT although we’re fighting it.

It has made a surprising difference to me.

3boysandabump · 29/10/2018 11:32

I wouldn't ask I'd just go myself

noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 11:32

I agree it's not comparable - her husband has a great deal! Dinner cooked for him every night in return for a (presumably rare) request for 3am ice cream.

If we are going down the path of lazy sexism then perhaps he works longer hours than she does? So it would be reasonable for the person who is home earlier to cook the meal.
This is what I dislike most about mumsnet - the baseline assumption that men are shit.

Anyway, I digress, that is not the point of the thread.

It's all about being proportionate in what you ask your partner (man or woman) to do for you and being considerate to them
about what you ask.

PtangyangkipperbangOi · 29/10/2018 11:33

@noworklifebalance

Hahah! sometimes I do wonder how he puts up with me as I am a demanding cowbag at times but I doubt it, he knows he is onto a good deal. I don't just cook him the odd meal and look for music bargains. Im 16 years younger than him and apparently this brings kudos with the men at work.....and his workmates go green with envy at the packed lunches he gets. He has a food flask and often takes in shepherds pie, apple pie and custard, stew and dumplings etc. I meet him once a week for lunch and so take him a proper meal then too. He gives me massages, strokes my hair until I fall asleep and is a cracking dad to our 4 kids. We are the perfect match really. (apart from when he gives me the red rage and I want to murder him obvs)

@Havaina he would rather do the ice cream run than other favours I think. We had a family party at the weekend and he did 7 journeys back and to dropping my parents and siblings off and picking them up etc. I barely tolerate my family so he did amazingly well. Yesterdays dinner was roast chicken pie, mash and beans as a thank you. It gave me a reason to eat cheese and crackers for dinner too as I hate pie and mash Grin

alfiesmam · 29/10/2018 11:35

I would make moves to go myself then he’d probably offer .

PtangyangkipperbangOi · 29/10/2018 11:35

And yes, he does work very long hours and I am a lady of leisure that is spending today enjoying my kids being back at school, watching CSI and flicking through mumsnet. He has supported me through my BA, MA and next year through the start of my PhD.

noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 11:36

PtangyangkipperbangOi - cross-posted with you and apologies, I didn't mean for you to explain yourself!