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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Period- what your DP do this?

552 replies

Leder · 28/10/2018 22:21

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

OP posts:
BelindasRedPlasticHandcuffs · 29/10/2018 09:41

If I asked, yes. Would I ask at half ten on a freezing night? Not unless I was in agony and in need of pain killers.

Also 2 co-cardamom is just wonderful!

Hope you're feeling better this morning OP.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/10/2018 09:45

Did we ever establish why the OP was unable to do this herself?

peachgreen · 29/10/2018 09:58

He would but I wouldn't ask. I'd ask for painkillers or sanitary products but not just a drink I fancied. Though if I was in pain and it was something I regularly had he might offer.

toastfiend · 29/10/2018 10:08

Mine would, but he'd (fairly, I think) probably raise an eyebrow and I'd feel a bit of a dick and probably wouldn't ask if it was very late. Similarly, I'd go if he were unwell and needed something, but would probably raise an eyebrow if it was half 10 at night, he wasn't incapacitated and was just because he fancied it.

username1724 · 29/10/2018 10:18

Mine wouldn't, but I'd not do it for him either. Previously we've had a 'let's go together arrangement' when one of us needs something in the evening.

noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 10:27

Mine would but it would never occur to me to ask him for something like that just because I was on my period....and maybe that is they very reason he would go if I asked, because he know I am not taking he piss or being full of self-pity (apologies if neither applies to you).
I would, however, ask him for painkillers/tampons but, again, it is rare that I have been ever caught short of either of I have come on whilst at home.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 29/10/2018 10:30

I think some of you have very shitty relationships, where your partners can't be arsed to go out of their way for you at all.
It's really not a big deal to pop out to the shops - I don't get why someone would not do this, to make their unwell partner feel better.
If you can't expect the person who is supposed to love you, to do you a favour, what's the point of a relationship? I'd hate to be with a man who would say 'no' to doing a small thing to make me feel better. I'd be looking at him differently and be reluctant in future to do small kindnesses for him too and that's the death knell for a relationship.

MaisyPops · 29/10/2018 10:33

I wouldn't ask him to go out specially just to get me something I fancied eating/drinking. At the end of the day it's just a period.

He would probably do it, but for me asking him to go out because I wanted a treat is a bit much.
He'd absolutely go and get me painkillers or sanpro.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 29/10/2018 10:34

Maybe the OP can't do it for herself because she feels rough. I don't have endometriosis but on some days of my period I can't leave the house because I bleed through pads in minutes and lose enormous blood clots (sorry tmi). Maybe she is like that and just wants her partner to care enough to try and make her feel less awful!

platesandflowers · 29/10/2018 10:35

Women being pathetic about their periods annoys me. Plays straight into the hands of the misogynists.

What a vile comment.

As are lots of the other comments on this thread.

Good for you for not having periods that leave you in bed for two days, vomiting, crying in pain, unable to drive.

God some of you are nasty.

platesandflowers · 29/10/2018 10:37

It's a period, not an illness.

It shocks me how some people can be so fucking ignorant.

My periods are 100% a fucking illness. And I don't have endo or anything like that.

They still leave me bed ridden for two days of the month.

platesandflowers · 29/10/2018 10:38

My dh would do this for me in a heartbeat. He also actually rinses out my reusable pads when I'm in too much pain to do it.

The same way I would do it for him if he were under the weather. Because we actually care for each other unlike some of the miserable pricks on this thread.

JacquesHammer · 29/10/2018 10:41

Women being pathetic about their periods annoys me. Plays straight into the hands of the misogynists

Actually I’d say not acknowledging that some women have incredibly debilitating periods that can and do affect every aspect of their life is far more misogynistic.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 29/10/2018 10:42

Agreed plates.

bellinisurge · 29/10/2018 10:44

No it's not an illness but sometimes you have a bad one and feel shit. Or sometimes you've had a bad day, period or no, and feel shit.
Which is when it's nice for your partner to pop out to the shops to get something you really fancy. If they can. If it's not too late etc etc.
My dh would for me. I would for him.
It's perfectly normal to do something for someone in your life who's a bit low/knocked over. Doesn't have to be about periods.

MaisyPops · 29/10/2018 10:45

platesandflowers
Not expecting your partner to go out especially to buy a treat because you want one isn't being a miserable prick. (I'm sure DH would if I asked him, but 'go get me a treat' isn't my cup of tea).

Refusing to go and get painkillers for a poorly partner would be a miserable prick.

Havaina · 29/10/2018 10:45

My DH would but I wouldn't ask him. I balk at unnecessary trips to the shops. He always offers to go and bring me a treat or OJ when I'm sick but I tell him I would rather have him at home. co-dependently lazy

PtangyangkipperbangOi · 29/10/2018 10:52

My husband didn't think twice about going to get me emergency gaviscon at 3 am when I was pregnant.....and he lived 30 miles away at the time! he would get it, drop it off and have a quick cuddle and then go back home.

Now, even not pregnant- if I woke him in the middle of the night and said I wanted a cream cake, pistachio ice cream and the freshly squeezed juice of 4 mediterranean lemons he would do his damndest to try and get it for me. He would likely manage to find the first two but would offer to buy me a ticket to find a lemon tree abroad so I can squeeze my own for freshness right from the source. Because he loves me and likes to indulge me in things that make me happy. Just like I like to trawl ebay looking for guitar bargains or make his favourite dinner to make HIM happy.

I feel really sorry for people that are in relationships where they do not feel valued and loved.

MrsVietor · 29/10/2018 10:54

He would go and get me something I needed if I felt shit, but equally I wouldn't send him out at 10pm for a drink of water. 

aishaspell60 · 29/10/2018 10:55

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aishaspell60 · 29/10/2018 10:56

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SallyWD · 29/10/2018 10:56

I wouldn't ask DH to go out late at night to get mea treat. I think he only would if it was an emergency.

Juells · 29/10/2018 10:56

FFS what a drama queen.

EerieSilence · 29/10/2018 11:02

Nope, he'd be OK with painkillers and getting me some Always if needed and a hot water bottle (btw, if you have any strong spirit like a brandy or whiskey, go for it, helps a lot) but certainly not lemon flavoured water, he'd probably think I've gone bananas.

purplelass · 29/10/2018 11:02

As PPs have said if it was a medical issue then I'm sure he would pop to the shop for me but as I'm a grown up and perfectly able to do it myself I wouldn't ask him.
Serious question - how would you cope if you lived on your own?